The Precipice II

Friday, 19.01.2007. 0015 hours.

A friend comforted me with this:

God always has plans for us. Always pray to him for guidance and wisdom!

:) I have good friends. And sometimes we all need to be reminded of the truths that we already know, but sometimes cannot (or forget to) see.

The Precipice II

I stand on the edge of the precipice and stare into the darkness below. I hear the lilting, haunting trill of siren song, but try as I might, I cannot seem to find its source. The music pierces my spirit, breaks my heart, and it send me panting, to my knees. There, on the edge of the precipice.

I close my eyes, and shut my ears to it, but still, I hear its melody: mournful, exuberant, sighing, laughing, moaning, singing; the essence of thousands of spirits that had stood here before me.

I open my eyes and once again, stare into the swirling, churning darkness before me. It is a darkness that whispers of a million secrets.

I have to get there. I know. I have to get right to the core to learn its secrets. To obtain certain knowledge. But how?

I deliberate. To take the plunge would most likely mean certain death. To climb down the walls of the precipice would likely be both painstaking, long, tortuous and uncertain. Bungee-jumping, though, is not an option. There is no rope. No one to hold it, either.

I look around me. What had appeared and had taken me, quickly and suddenly, to this precise spot, had, just as quickly and suddenly, disappeared. And I know now, for certain, that I am well and truly alone. That this next phase of my journey would likely have to be undertaken by myself. Alone.

A paralysing wave of doubt and loneliness sweep over me as I contemplate, once more, the dark abyss below me. As I hear and watch it breathe its sigh, it seems alive. And I know my strengths, my weaknesses, the experiences and lessons that I've learnt all my life shall be put to the most rigorous test. I have never felt more stripped, more naked. More afraid.

My fears shall be exposed. THe hurt and pain that I've experienced and still carry with me shall increase a thousand-fold. The hope that, like a fool, I've held closely to my breast like a suckling babe shall be my only support. The dreams that I've secretly cherished and nurtured in the deepest recesses of my mind shall be my guide. I shall be pushed to the limit of my endurance.

Is that experience, that knowledge worth all the trouble? I stare over the precipice once more.

Then I take a deep, cleansing breath, get up on my feet and take a step forward.

I am alone. Yes. But I am not without my faculties, and I am not without strengths, or resources.

Every spirit who has been to this precipice has had to chart their own path. So do I.

I shall blaze my path of glory.

I start my descend. This first leg I shall call Fear.

I can already feel the icy hand of Fear grip my heart and give it a terrible, punishing squeeze. Cold...

Cold... Hollow... Lonely... Afraid...

But I shall endure.