Life's many contradictions
people ask me: do you look forward to your trip, and my mind comes up blank. because honestly, i'm more worried about the job than anything else. and i think i would only get excited about trips after i've settled jobs.
guess i work that way: i don't particularly like surprises. i normally like to know what i'm pitting myself up against. yes, i'd take risks. but only if i can gauge the odds. and definitely not when it comes to anything of great importance in my life. and only when i'm prepared.
see, i'm like this mule. i look docile, but try to get me to do something i don't want, and u're up against a granite brick. shove, pull, yank, cajole, i won't move a muscle. might as well have been planted, no, ROOTED there.
yes, i'm worried. it's new. and i think i'm comfort eating. :(
****
i miss staying up late and hearing myself. i've so many things i wanna write, but which i've put off to oblivion cos: a) i fell asleep. b) i was unmotivated because my computer is really too slow to run more than 2 apps at one time. c) some things are kinda private, and i'm not sure if it would be wise putting things here.
i guess this poem i memorised when i was 13 would probably sum things up cryptically enough. not sure i remember ALL of it, in it's entirety, or whether the arrangement is quite right. no matter. i think it brings it's point across well enough:
what is this life if, full of care,
we have no time to stand and stare?
no time to stand beneath the boughs,
and stare as long as sheep and cows.
no time to see when woods we pass,
where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
no time to see, in broad daylight,
streams full of stars, like skies at night.
no time to turn at Beauty's glance,
and watch her feet, how they can dance.
no time to wait, till her mouth can,
enrich that smile her eyes began?
a poor life, this, if full of care,
we have no time to stand and stare.
i can't quite remember what the title is, but i think it's by a w.h. davis.
sometimes, a person can be around, but not THERE, if you know what i mean. like i'm looking at you, but not seeing you. i'm listening to you, but not hearing you. or i'm sleeping with you, but not loving you. like existing, but not living. like buying things, but never using them. like coming to work everyday, but never feeling motivated. like the earth can collapse at your feet today, and all you are going to feel is relief.
life has little meaning, lived that way. there's got to be more to life than just that.
guess i work that way: i don't particularly like surprises. i normally like to know what i'm pitting myself up against. yes, i'd take risks. but only if i can gauge the odds. and definitely not when it comes to anything of great importance in my life. and only when i'm prepared.
see, i'm like this mule. i look docile, but try to get me to do something i don't want, and u're up against a granite brick. shove, pull, yank, cajole, i won't move a muscle. might as well have been planted, no, ROOTED there.
yes, i'm worried. it's new. and i think i'm comfort eating. :(
****
i miss staying up late and hearing myself. i've so many things i wanna write, but which i've put off to oblivion cos: a) i fell asleep. b) i was unmotivated because my computer is really too slow to run more than 2 apps at one time. c) some things are kinda private, and i'm not sure if it would be wise putting things here.
i guess this poem i memorised when i was 13 would probably sum things up cryptically enough. not sure i remember ALL of it, in it's entirety, or whether the arrangement is quite right. no matter. i think it brings it's point across well enough:
what is this life if, full of care,
we have no time to stand and stare?
no time to stand beneath the boughs,
and stare as long as sheep and cows.
no time to see when woods we pass,
where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.
no time to see, in broad daylight,
streams full of stars, like skies at night.
no time to turn at Beauty's glance,
and watch her feet, how they can dance.
no time to wait, till her mouth can,
enrich that smile her eyes began?
a poor life, this, if full of care,
we have no time to stand and stare.
i can't quite remember what the title is, but i think it's by a w.h. davis.
sometimes, a person can be around, but not THERE, if you know what i mean. like i'm looking at you, but not seeing you. i'm listening to you, but not hearing you. or i'm sleeping with you, but not loving you. like existing, but not living. like buying things, but never using them. like coming to work everyday, but never feeling motivated. like the earth can collapse at your feet today, and all you are going to feel is relief.
life has little meaning, lived that way. there's got to be more to life than just that.
1 comment:
dida, can u do password-protected posts? so you choose who gets to read them.
oh ya, and fucking get a new computer liaw!! if too slow to run two apps at the same time then time for change man!!! :D ask trace for tips!! or borrow her mac hehe
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