2008

It's been a long, difficult year.

High points. Low points.

I've had to struggle in my career, in my personal life. I've had to shelve a few plans.

2008 has been bittersweet.

Career-wise, it's a cliffhanger. Salary increment plans would be on hold till further notice. So there's that. Nothing I can say about that. I'm just glad I've done what I've aimed to do when I took this job offer: Learn. And that I have. It's better no salary increment than to have a pay-cut and get laid off anyway, which is being done in several companies, given the current economic climate. So I'll dig my heels in and weather the storm as best I can. After all, it wasn't a bad start to my new job. And I'm trying to keep as positive as I can.

Personal life, well I suppose if anyone's been following that's off till further notice too. I'm not sure where that will be going. I suppose for now, I'll be concentrating on me. 'Cos I've let go. There's no more anger, no more frustration, just sadness. Resignation. Forgiveness too, for what had been done. Although I wouldn't let any of that happen to me again. That's just self-preservation. Once bitten, twice shy. But we've both made many mistakes, and forgiveness is important to move forward with living.

It sucks to break up right before the holiday season. Christmas was always the most quietly romantic holiday for me. Time to spend with loved ones. People we cherish most. But in a way I'm glad. And relieved. It would suck even more to be crying and fighting during the holiday season. Mayhap it's better this way.

There's much to be learnt from solitude after all.

Met a friend I knew from a friend, and barely know in person on fb chat. And he tells me: 'cheer up dear... good things always around the corner... though sometimes it can be a long corner... nevertheless .... good things...'

Strangely comforting, coming from a guy who annoys me to bits each time we meet. :P Probably the first time he sounds his age in the few times we meet... and immediately after, he sounds like his usual jackass self again :)

That, though, somehow made me cry again, silly as it is... it's been a really long corner this year, and I've come right to the edge of breaking point so many times. I suppose that's the price to pay for growing up. I do hope he's right... I could do with a nice break, even a small one, just to know the effort's not all been in vain.

So I wanna take a break. From the daily grind for awhile. Just to recharge, rejuvenate. Probably remove myself from people for awhile. Just to rediscover myself.

It's been a long corner of a year. But I've had no regrets.

I ended the year:

1. On a cliffhanger due to the global economic downturn.

2. Newly single again, though with many new friends.

3. Learning how to clean the radiator gasket for a car... that's another completely different blog altogether. Stay tuned.

4. Back to my November 2007 waistline... Yes, I can fit in old jeans again. That's how much I lost weight due to the events of the past 2-3 months.

5. Having a new appreciation for my family and friends, well-meaning that they are... though not necessarily always helpful :P but still... well-meaning....

I wish to have a clean, fresh start to 2009, with renewed hope for the future, whatever it is it has in store for me.

Life goes on, after all. And I hope my friend is right. Good things always around the corner.

Let's drink to the past, toast to the future, and cheer the present.

A boring workday.... a not-so-boring conversation

This was just WAAAYYYYY TOOOOO precious to NOT cut and paste up as a blogpost :P

Btw, my dear blogders... if any of you knows of any guy who fits the description below, please drop me an email at: nemesisonfire@gmail.com. I got a big-breasted, small-footed, fair-skinned, slit-eyed, technologically-CRAZY, slightly manic, virginal girl friend to introduce to him :P

I'd so get slaughtered for pimping her off like this :D but oh well.... :P

On a fine Friday afternoon, getting typically bored at work on a typically unexciting workday, other than completely scandalising my totally straitlaced (though I'd bet he's gay) colleague (he reads Jane Austen! I mean.... even the lady mentioned below can't stand Jane Austen! ohh... I forgot, she's quite male :P) and my completely gay colleague who fancies Mr. Straitlace.... the day continued to crawl along at a snail's pace as usual....

Until! I had the fine idea to have Ms. XY entertain me... she's very good at that :P

After all, we had a hot new topic to discuss.... a mutual friend's recent erm.... sexploits. Let's call her Ms. XX

[15:17]: teeteeteeeettttttt
[15:17]: i'm bored
[15:17]: i hear u gave ms. xx the third degree
ms. xy [15:17]: of coz
[15:18]: :P
[15:18]: yes, mama
[15:18]: :D
[15:18]: u're like the mother hen
[15:18]: guarding all the little chicks
[15:19]: then u peckpeck them if they run out of the reban ayam :P
ms. xy [15:19]: ??
ms. xy [15:19]: uh yeah.......
ms. xy [15:19]: if they something stupid
[15:20]: :D
[15:20]: u do realise....
[15:21]: it's fun watching u go nutterz? :P
[15:22]: and when u go: are u friggin outta ur mind?
[15:23]: but yalah
[15:23]: i told her i agree with u :P a bit ironic for a person selling HIV kits to be so ermmm.... cavalier :)
ms. xy [15:24]: was foaming at the mouth
[15:24]: ermmmm
[15:24]: i can imagine :P
[15:25]: why, did she come one day all starry eyed and all? :P
ms. xy [15:25]: no
ms. xy [15:25]: she spilled
ms. xy [15:25]: w/o me sayin nuthing
[15:26]: oh? yalar... she came all starry eyed
[15:26]: and cooey and happy :P
[15:26]: going it was so nice, etc etc? :P
ms. xy [15:28]: nope
ms. xy [15:28]: a bit sheepish actually
ms. xy [15:28]: since i querried bout d *ahem*
[15:30]: i KNEW it. u'd be the one going: are u practising safe sex? :P
[15:30]: then she'd go: i'm on the pill......
[15:30]: :P
ms. xy [15:33]: yes the it'll be i'm said SAFE sex. not birth control
[15:33]: :)
[15:34]: welllll.... i was quite stunned at first too
[15:34]: him being *** and all
[15:34]: if he's circumcised, it'll lessen the chances a bit
ms. xy [15:34]: *rolls eyes*
[15:34]: :D
[15:35]: man.... i wonder if u finally get a bf, u'd make him do the entire bloodtest, condom thingy :P
ms. xy [15:37]: prob
ms. xy [15:37]: n a full body scrubdown with antimicrobials
ms. xy [15:37]: mayb wrap him in nano silver
[15:43]: .....
[15:43]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[15:43]: u wanna turn him into a robot, duncha
[15:43]: hahahahaha
[15:44]: then how about the sex?
[15:44]: and the french kissing?
[15:44]: no go? :P
ms. xy [15:47]: after the nano silver works its magic
[15:47]: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[15:48]: u gonna wrap the insides of his mouth with nano silver too?
[15:48]: direct bodily fluid exchange how? :P
ms. xy [15:52]: more like flush his blood stream with it
ms. xy [15:53]: then make him wear a patch that constantly excrets d particles into him
[15:54]: LOL
[15:54]: ROFLMAO
[15:54]: thanks for making my day
[15:54]: u soooo want a robot for a bf
ms. xy [15:56]: of coz
[15:58]: can i PLEASE
[15:58]: put this on my blog?
[15:58]: PLEASE?
[15:58]: :P
[15:58]: who knows a guy who doesnt mind having nano silver pumped into him may JUST read my blog
[15:58]: hurhurhur
ms. xy [15:59]: funny
[15:59]: since he doesnt mind nano silver....
ms. xy [15:59]: i'm not really a fan of nano-silver
[15:59]: he'd prolly won't mind cosmetic surgery if he ain't cute enough :P
[15:59]: and he just MIGHT be ur bionic man
ms. xy [15:59]: but its anti-microbial properties will hav to do
[15:59]: :P
ms. xy [15:59]: funny
[15:59]: tea tree oil? :P
[15:59]: garlic??
[15:59]: :D
ms. xy [15:59]: no too organic
[15:59]: LOL
[16:00]: nano silver it is then
[16:00]: :P

Yes, I've asked her permission to post this up. She wants royalties. I figured if we get to marry her off, I should be getting royalties instead :P and yes, I forgot to mention. She bad at spelling :P

strange happenings and appetite

what do i want to say here today?

lots apparently, except there's just too much to pen down.

it's been terribly busy at work, and things seem to be falling apart at the seams.

saturday night/ sunday morning was just downright freaky. and the terror seemed so palpably real. feeling like i got paralysed from the waist down on sunday afternoon felt all the more frightening.

i'm left wondering: what the hell is going on? and i have absolutely no answers.

thank god for the moments in between of meeting up with some friends to cheer me up.

at least the wedding was fun. and it was good to see hilarious self-deprecating penangites again. that kinda humour is rather rare in this big bad city. the longer one stays here, it seems the crueler one's sense of humour... or one loses it altogether. being down to earth is part art and part science, apparently.

he dropped me a bomb too. apparently i'm supposed to cook come october. yes, anyone of u who reads this and knows who i'm talking about, feel free to abuse him if you see him. :P i'm panicking here!!!!! i haven't cooked properly in at least 2 years, since the older brother left for penang. and that dish is freaking tedious! gah!

over the past one week, i've been told i inhaled my food three times. and i was introduced to new people three times by the title i believe i'm gonna be stuck with for a long long time. comments made over the week over my appetite:

Sunday, after church, to a friend's niece's newest toyboy:
she vacuums her food up... watch her go.. go... goooo!!!!
Reaction of poor fella: *inches away slowly from me*

*sniffs... i ho hurts ar!*

Tuesday, after trekking up to an area i detest to help a friend haggle over prices cos she can't bloody bargain even if her life depended on it, and she was inclined to buy me dinner as a result... trust me, the foochow side of her was definitely cringing in pure horror just to make that offer.

Over dinner, after i begged to order the large plate cos i was so darn hungry, and i've gone through more than half of it, while she barely reached one-third of hers:
did you just fucking inhale your food?! *very loudly*

my reaction: O.O I'm HUNGRYYYY!!!!

Thursday, when the pipe-cleaner-soap-picker came back from some godforsaken corner of the universe and asked us out for yumchar... and i ordered a plate of nasi lemak cos it was 9pm and i haven't had dinner:
wahhhhh!!!!! you breathe in your food ar!!!!
in front of complete strangers to boot.... after making certain 18SX comments about what transpired when they picked me up.

my reaction: O.O I'm HUNGRRRRYYYYYY!!!!! NO, you're NOT touching my ikan bilis!!!! RAWR!!! (:P) and shut up already! i don't know these ppl!!!!

*sniffs* who needs enemies with friends like these?

Sunday, after meeting a bunch of CGL girls... for the first time, apart from long-haired Serani chick. the girls went out for a nicotine break, leaving just me, and two others at the table. the roasted chicken dish came, and it tasted bloody good... when they came back, the girl sitting next to me demanded:
did you finish the whole chicken by yourself?!

my reaction: *gulps* NO!! there! there's half a chicken there!

so you finished HALF a chicken by yourself?

my reaction: errrrr...... there's half a chicken for you stilll........

:P i think i got my appetite back..... aiyooo... c'mon.... i was on porridge and plain food for the past 3 weeks......

:D it's nice to get my appetite back.... AND FUCK YOU ALL LAAAA... SO I LOVE MY FOOD :P

Sleeping Aid

I have a few friends who says the most boggling things. Here is an excerpt from a conversation on MSN with one of them. Yes, I asked his permission to post this up, especially for my single girlfriends' reading pleasures. I think they'd find it as hilarious as I. And I want feedback on his ideas, btw. Do post comments. Anonymously if it makes you comfortable to post something outrageous. Though knowing my friends, they would probably happily post their ideas with their names proudly emblazoned over it :P


Me says (2:57 PM):
LOL: so that's why little boys can run faster than little girls-ball bearings and stick shift!
Mr X says (2:58 PM):
haha
Me says (2:58 PM):
:D oi! what's 7 inches
Me says (2:58 PM):
i give up :P
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
dont give up
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
i wanna know .
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
because i dont
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
lol
Me says (2:59 PM):
huh?
Me says (2:59 PM):
u dont know what's 7 inches?
Me says (2:59 PM):
i dont know la wei
Me says (3:00 PM):
is it anatomy or what?
Me says (3:00 PM):
cant be intestines
Me says (3:00 PM):
that's like 3 basketball court long
Mr X says (3:00 PM):
clitoris ?
Me says (3:01 PM):
cannot be
Me says (3:01 PM):
:P
Me says (3:01 PM):
the labia maybe
Me says (3:01 PM):
the vagina is only 3-4 inches long, i think
Me says (3:01 PM):
but expandable
Me says (3:01 PM):
if i remember right
Mr X says (3:01 PM):
expandable lenghtwise ?
Me says (3:02 PM):
width length depth
Me says (3:02 PM):
amazing thing that is :P
Me says (3:02 PM):
but only the first few centimeters of it is very sensitive
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
if only they were bigger.
Me says (3:03 PM):
nearer up the cervix, surgery can be performed minus anaesthesia..
Me says (3:03 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
i'd make a fortune selling them as sleeping bags
Me says (3:03 PM):
selling vaginas as sleeping bags?!
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
yeah !
Me says (3:04 PM):
wtf
Me says (3:04 PM):
how
Me says (3:04 PM):
what
Me says (3:04 PM):
huh
Me says (3:04 PM):
*boggled*
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
like .
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
ermm
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
stick ur finger in there.
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok, i should hang out with u more often, u say the funniest things
Me says (3:04 PM):
hahahahahaha
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
how good does ur finger feel ?
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
damn nice . .
Me says (3:04 PM):
OMFG :D
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok
Me says (3:05 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
sooo .
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
a vagina sleeping bag would be hella comfortable riht ?
Me says (3:05 PM):
yep
Me says (3:05 PM):
sure
Me says (3:05 PM):
:P
Me says (3:06 PM):
vagina sleeping bag indeed :D
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
wat next ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
what would u come up with next?
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
penis bolster ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
haha!
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
testicle excercise balls ?
Me says (3:07 PM):
a penis is meant to be inside of me, not outside :P
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
i'd make more money marketing it as a bolster than a dildo
Me says (3:07 PM):
:P testicles too sensitive la wei
Me says (3:07 PM):
why bolster?
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
what u ppl end up doing with it is none of my business
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
because more ppl would buy a bolster
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
and its easier to sell
Me says (3:08 PM):
ok... what size would penis bolster be?
Me says (3:08 PM):
pray tell :P
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
4 ft centre bolster .
Mr X says (3:09 PM):
with multiple .. 7inches sticking out and opposite angles .
Me says (3:09 PM):
LOL
Me says (3:09 PM):
wow dude. genius is you yet
Me says (3:10 PM):
i'm damn tempted to post this up anonymously and see what my cheeky girlfriends say about this
Me says (3:10 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
especially the single ones
Me says (3:10 PM):
which is MOST of them anyway
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
hahar
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
do it .

this is what boys are for, btw. :P entertainment!!! :D

of birdies, sex, conversations, solitude and treehouses.

this was supposed to be posted up last week, but i was busy:

stressed. hence endless blogging.

2 things.

i love messing with PB's mind :D it's FUN. especially when she's already loopy cos she's having one of her very rare red tides :P which induced the idiot to wear white peeptoes to work. breaking it in, she says. right. breaking the blisters and feet too, apparently.

how do i do that? easy. fritz her out by talking about taboo things. i.e. S.E.X.
as for my previous blogpost about liking to be alone, i don't have time to write it all out, but i did mention it in the conversation. so me being a lazy ass, am just gonna paste it out here.

well, in my defense, she DID annoy me first :P

PB: boo
me: yo bitch
PB: u going fer lunchie?
me: nawps
tapaoed
PB: ic. my feet hurt
me: kl food sux royal asscock
FROM WHAT?
PB: the shoes lor
me: OH NOOOOOO
nonononononono
oh noes
not again, makcik
PB: sigh i got to do the sticky thingy again
me: aiyoyoyos
hmmmph
wat u being vain n wore it to WORK?
Sent at 11:55 on Friday
PB: had to 'open' it.
wore it for shopping last nite to try
then got blisters. now i patched myself up n trying to loosen it by wearing it
me: okies
another excuse for being VAIN
PB: told u period making me loopy.
me: j got booted off to bw
she working for *** now
PB: ahahahahahahahahahahaha
me: texted me this morning to tell me that n to ask me what to do
she knows no one
etc
PB: aww.
jy is there
me: i told her that
PB: take it as independence
me: she din know that
yeah
is it just me who actually LIKES going to new places ALONE?
i like the liberating feeling
the solitude
PB: nah. U and ME
me: the loneliness
ahh ok
PB: muahahaha
me: now THAT is one reason we hang so well although we so diff
not many ppl like leaving the comforts of home i guess
PB: dun get all sappy on me now
me: i'm not
u just might KISS me. u being loopy n all
LOL
PB: *middle finger*
me: now if we gonna do some kissing n shit, we need a digicam. and plenty of boys. might as well get em all hornied up
u might get laid, n i definitely will
:P i'm a fantastic kisser :P dun u worry. HAHAHAHA
PB: .....................................i think u just fried a circuit
red alert
me: lol
what?
meaning?
thought i ALWAYS fry circuits red alert
Sent at 12:02 on Friday
PB: this is oe of the occasions
i'm bored. n hungry. n bored. got piles of work but couldnt be bothered
me: go eat la bitch
:)
wat time dinner?
PB: ooo slight cramps too. starange feeling this is..
me: :P stupid
LOL
PB: i plan cabut early
but my bro hp rosak
me: now u amplify those 1000 times n u get my pain then u know how i feel before passing out n having huge ass needle up my butt
PB: so hav to wait he call me
me: ok.
cabuts early anyways
Sent at 12:07 on Friday
PB: i know
joy. as long as mc devils dun call
me: pull out the phone lines
wahahahahahha
PB: funny. they have my hp
me: oh
throw it against a wall
say it fell down 20 flights of stairs
PB: well, its kinda MINE...
company phone i would have doen t ages ago
me: well. u do that u can have excuse buy new phone :P
no? no? *twinkly eyes*
PB: man u're good
me: :D
PB: which brings me to my other dilema
me: mmhmmmm?:D
PB: my bro hp rosak. if cant fix, need to buy new phone
me: ok, so keep the phone :P
u got excuse buy new one
PB: but there isnt one in the market that does what i want it o except the N95
which is a shitload to pay for a hp
n glorified toy
me: hmmmmmmmmmm
i dunno then
my needs are simple
unlike urs
something i can textsex, phonesex, mmssex with.
fullstop :P
waits for it.....
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Sent at 12:16 on Friday
PB: @$%&@*$^$#(%^*# ............*fritz*.........now u got my circuits
me: sometimes i just say things for ur reaction
LOL!
PB: i know...yet i keep falling for it
me: :)
sucker :D
PB: oh can i
an it
can it
omg, i is soooo d bad with typing
me: no shit....
PB: i'm so bored this is not even funny
me: sighs
let's argue about something again then
PB: not THAT bored.........
me: heheh
then i dunno
go read blogs
ermmmm
watch porn
Sent at 12:33 on Friday
PB: porn at the ofs??
u really have no scrupels (sp?)
me: scruples
nope
PB: figures
me: :P
u ARE bored
well, not like i watch porn in office la
i amuse myself with quizzes instead
PB: i bet u do
me: or softporn stories :P
i dont watch porn
:P
maybe i should. watch it with the boy
steal some ideas :P
PB: ah ha!
u read it
......tmi
me: read what?
PB: buy the karma sutra
me: softporn? yep. never mine though
but i never read it at work
PB: bull shit la
i'm looking at MY equavilent of porn.....hp websites
me: serious lah
i dont :P
i read blogs :P
PB: with soft porn on it
me: nope
:P i go on facebook n play warbook
Sent at 12:46 on Friday
PB: n send naughty gifts
PB: gt you mind out of the gutter.....
me: yeah. that's why i dont pick up smoking. prolly cant stop man
:D I LOVE shocking u
muahahahahahahaaaa
Sent at 12:51 on Friday
PB: if u r obsessive compulsive maybe
Sent at 12:52 on Friday
me: i do have OCD wat
u know that
just not like urs la
:P

PB: the fold yo $ into the proper size before puttign it in your wallet. now u r being blur on purpose to make me pisssed off so i will shut up now. n keep my sanity
*flash birdie
me: ya, i get wat u talking. but wat about it???? haiyo
PB: *falls dead on the floor. u were saying u r obsessive complusive so i stated that as n example!!!!!
me: owhhh
sorry. mind was elsewhere
:P
tracy: omg..............u can be so.....so....so.....aaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhh
FUCK U.
me: yeah mind was down someone's pants :D
what do u think of slow afternoon fucks? or lunchtime quickies? :P
PB: is there a stronger word for fuck? cause it just doesnt have the same sting no more
me: dunno
screw
?
i know... we say it so often... it's abused beyond ones
PB: totaly up to the individual n i could not care less.
me: horny as fuck. silly as fuck. dumb as fuck. crazyfuck.
how did words end up ones? hmmm
my bad
PB: now that u r indeed.
..................................
i need n exasparated emoticon right about now
me: how about :/
:D
i just LURVE annoying the FUCK outta u :D
esp when u're wearing white peeptoe HEELS to WORK
:D
Sent at 13:13 on Friday
tracy: ;/
:///////
:////////////////////////////////
me: muaxxxx
me eez loves u too
Sent at 13:24 on Friday
PB: *birdie
Sent at 13:26 on Friday
me: :D
go play with quizzes, babydoll
Sent at 13:29 on Friday

yup... she is so gonna kill me for not taking the liberty to correct her spelling :D

oh btw, few things to set straight:
1. she gives me too much credit when it comes to my horniness.... i'm sure :P
2. i DID get huge ass needles stuck into my butt. several times. muscle relaxants. got hospitalised for it, too. observation, they said. the pill is a GODSEND.
3. i LOVE annoying her, and frying her circuits.
4. her trademark is the birdie. and obsession with a certain kind of *ahem*.
5. her birdie is a sign of affection. it's her way of saying: 'i love you'. she has issues with expressing affection. :P
6. i say FUCK wayyyyy too often :P

if i don't blog tomorrow.... means the birdiegirl ate me for dinner....... :P

please look for my remains at YAGCentral, KL... ok? make sure u ship whatever remains are left back to Borneo where my orang utans are. as a tombstone, i want a treehouse, as befits a Borneoan, yar? Apt, duncha think?

dickbrained fucktards

i remember now WHY i can't go out with angmohkia....

this is an excellent reason:
http://www.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20071031-33370.html

here is the ensuing google chat conversation between a friend and i:

Friend: check ou the email i just sent u. u'll hate the fuckers forever.
me: what fuckers?
singaporeans?
Sent at 14:34 on Friday
me: dickheads
Sent at 14:40 on Friday
Friend: brits
bullying old man
me: yeah
dickheads
Friend: in singpore
me: hooligans indeed
this is where football hooliganism comes in
Friend: man now i remember why i dun wan marry ang moh.
still want some of that asian fillial respects in my kids
me: yeah. this is why i can never date angmoh too.
asian values la
Sent at 14:44 on Friday
Friend: a society that doesnt mind the kids saying fuck u mom is just unacceptable.
me: yeah
i'd brush my babies' mouths out with the rough edge of a coconut if they ever say that to me
chi liao bi
Friend: gap toothed basards - now seems like a phenotypic manifestation of genetic inadiquacies
Sent at 14:46 on Friday
Friend: memang chi lio bi. and they not sorry for it again.
Sent at 14:47 on Friday
me: who else is gap toothed?
ya man! that was what pissed me off the MOST
at least be apologetic
cibaikias

yeah, my friend can't spell very well :P (she'd kill me for this) but yeah, we can finish each other's sentences.

but really, those damn fucktards. there's something to be said about respecting people who have sacrificed for the community you live in. at least have some respect for people. even if he weren't a senior citizen. would you have liked someone else to do that to you? it's true, y'know: Do not do unto others what you would not like others to do unto you.

Seriously. What's becoming of the world?

3 random things...

3 random things of the day...

1) i find i've started blogging again.... hmm... it's like a drug... i can't stop :P but i wonder... does this also mean i'm ok now? :) i kinda stopped blogging cos well, some things are just too painful to be put into words. at least, not then. but i think i should archive it here. so that 10 years from now, i can look back, see what went on in my schizo head, and laugh at myself for being so unbearably stupid. :D rebounds are no good. no good at all. :)

2) my pineapple tarts are here!! yummy!!! time to collect from crazywoman :) but gotta pay up, too. with that creature (:P) nothing is free. but ahh.. i never expect things to be anyway. :D

3) you ask me if/when you can have me. honestly, you'll never have me. just the parts of me that i'm able to share with you. :) maybe you've been going about things all wrong then? complete possession is never the answer. yeah. i speak from experience. shadows from my past that could possibly rival yours. shadows very few people know of. and which took me almost 2 years to finally open up to someone about. and only because that someone was leaving :P and then things got easier. shadows that still haunt me to this day. because he still calls. and still texts. but i would never pick up anymore. because he doesn't exist. not to me. yes i can be cold. so cold it burns. like liquid nitrogen. are you sure you know what you're doing?

Bring it on, baby, bring it one

:D

P: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
me: what
Sent at 17:39 on Thursday
P: wait till i get back on my chair
u r sooo dead
me:
bring it on,baby, bring it on
Sent at 17:42 on Thursday
P: babi

u gotta admit, babe... this is WAAAAYYYYY better than my fucked up jiwang posts :P
btw, u already know i'm a pig... u seriously need to find better names for me :D

ciaoz, this pig is going back to gorge herself on imported from home siobee... and i dunno what else YET :D