Something to oil the machinery with

the totally yummy chris evans (bottom pic) and scott evans (top pic) in the same room... and me, of course...

damn. :P

too bad scott is gay... hehe...

A boring workday.... a not-so-boring conversation

This was just WAAAYYYYY TOOOOO precious to NOT cut and paste up as a blogpost :P

Btw, my dear blogders... if any of you knows of any guy who fits the description below, please drop me an email at: nemesisonfire@gmail.com. I got a big-breasted, small-footed, fair-skinned, slit-eyed, technologically-CRAZY, slightly manic, virginal girl friend to introduce to him :P

I'd so get slaughtered for pimping her off like this :D but oh well.... :P

On a fine Friday afternoon, getting typically bored at work on a typically unexciting workday, other than completely scandalising my totally straitlaced (though I'd bet he's gay) colleague (he reads Jane Austen! I mean.... even the lady mentioned below can't stand Jane Austen! ohh... I forgot, she's quite male :P) and my completely gay colleague who fancies Mr. Straitlace.... the day continued to crawl along at a snail's pace as usual....

Until! I had the fine idea to have Ms. XY entertain me... she's very good at that :P

After all, we had a hot new topic to discuss.... a mutual friend's recent erm.... sexploits. Let's call her Ms. XX

[15:17]: teeteeteeeettttttt
[15:17]: i'm bored
[15:17]: i hear u gave ms. xx the third degree
ms. xy [15:17]: of coz
[15:18]: :P
[15:18]: yes, mama
[15:18]: :D
[15:18]: u're like the mother hen
[15:18]: guarding all the little chicks
[15:19]: then u peckpeck them if they run out of the reban ayam :P
ms. xy [15:19]: ??
ms. xy [15:19]: uh yeah.......
ms. xy [15:19]: if they something stupid
[15:20]: :D
[15:20]: u do realise....
[15:21]: it's fun watching u go nutterz? :P
[15:22]: and when u go: are u friggin outta ur mind?
[15:23]: but yalah
[15:23]: i told her i agree with u :P a bit ironic for a person selling HIV kits to be so ermmm.... cavalier :)
ms. xy [15:24]: was foaming at the mouth
[15:24]: ermmmm
[15:24]: i can imagine :P
[15:25]: why, did she come one day all starry eyed and all? :P
ms. xy [15:25]: no
ms. xy [15:25]: she spilled
ms. xy [15:25]: w/o me sayin nuthing
[15:26]: oh? yalar... she came all starry eyed
[15:26]: and cooey and happy :P
[15:26]: going it was so nice, etc etc? :P
ms. xy [15:28]: nope
ms. xy [15:28]: a bit sheepish actually
ms. xy [15:28]: since i querried bout d *ahem*
[15:30]: i KNEW it. u'd be the one going: are u practising safe sex? :P
[15:30]: then she'd go: i'm on the pill......
[15:30]: :P
ms. xy [15:33]: yes the it'll be i'm said SAFE sex. not birth control
[15:33]: :)
[15:34]: welllll.... i was quite stunned at first too
[15:34]: him being *** and all
[15:34]: if he's circumcised, it'll lessen the chances a bit
ms. xy [15:34]: *rolls eyes*
[15:34]: :D
[15:35]: man.... i wonder if u finally get a bf, u'd make him do the entire bloodtest, condom thingy :P
ms. xy [15:37]: prob
ms. xy [15:37]: n a full body scrubdown with antimicrobials
ms. xy [15:37]: mayb wrap him in nano silver
[15:43]: .....
[15:43]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[15:43]: u wanna turn him into a robot, duncha
[15:43]: hahahahaha
[15:44]: then how about the sex?
[15:44]: and the french kissing?
[15:44]: no go? :P
ms. xy [15:47]: after the nano silver works its magic
[15:47]: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[15:48]: u gonna wrap the insides of his mouth with nano silver too?
[15:48]: direct bodily fluid exchange how? :P
ms. xy [15:52]: more like flush his blood stream with it
ms. xy [15:53]: then make him wear a patch that constantly excrets d particles into him
[15:54]: LOL
[15:54]: ROFLMAO
[15:54]: thanks for making my day
[15:54]: u soooo want a robot for a bf
ms. xy [15:56]: of coz
[15:58]: can i PLEASE
[15:58]: put this on my blog?
[15:58]: PLEASE?
[15:58]: :P
[15:58]: who knows a guy who doesnt mind having nano silver pumped into him may JUST read my blog
[15:58]: hurhurhur
ms. xy [15:59]: funny
[15:59]: since he doesnt mind nano silver....
ms. xy [15:59]: i'm not really a fan of nano-silver
[15:59]: he'd prolly won't mind cosmetic surgery if he ain't cute enough :P
[15:59]: and he just MIGHT be ur bionic man
ms. xy [15:59]: but its anti-microbial properties will hav to do
[15:59]: :P
ms. xy [15:59]: funny
[15:59]: tea tree oil? :P
[15:59]: garlic??
[15:59]: :D
ms. xy [15:59]: no too organic
[15:59]: LOL
[16:00]: nano silver it is then
[16:00]: :P

Yes, I've asked her permission to post this up. She wants royalties. I figured if we get to marry her off, I should be getting royalties instead :P and yes, I forgot to mention. She bad at spelling :P

this is from 101 things every man should know how to do

... and it's fucking funny.

don't ask me why, but i'm one of those chicks who reads guys mags and books written for men and am very entertained by them. although, i also read trashy romance novels that has lines like: as he parted her lips with gentle precision, tenderly licking their tender, moist parting back and forth with firm, gentle strokes, determined to get into her inner sanctum, she moaned and whimpered softly, melting and yielding to his expert caresses.

yep, i just made that one up :P maybe next time i'll write a 12 page long one on just french kissing alone. just for fucks :P

anyway, here goes. laugh out loud. this IS funny, k? i wish i coulda printed this list and put it on the table of someone i formerly worked for who was insufferable, though. he could do with a lesson (or a dozen) on how to impress women. 'nuff said. :D

15 Ways to Your Woman's Heart....and Bed
Author: teresa1699
Word count: 832
Note: These are not in any particular order of importance.

1. Power tools are your friends. So is your woman's vibrator. Do not be intimidated if she knows more about both than you do.

2. Speak more than one language. Note to all men: Sports lingo does not qualify as a second language.

3. Laundry: Do not underestimate the sexiness of a man who can speak eloquently about Tide vs. All. Show me a man who can sort, wash , fold and put away in the correct locations and I will show you a man who gets laid , a lot.

4. Trim that hair (and we are not talking about facial hair). Back hair is a no-no. If we want to see Darwin's missing link in action, we will visit the Museum of Natural History. Trimming your nether regions is highly recommended. We don't like hair in our teeth either.

5. Autos: There is something undeniably sexy about a man who knows his way around an engine. Maybe it's the attention to detail , maybe it's a great ass bent over a hood of a car, whatever the appeal, a man that knows cars seems like he wouldn't mind spending a little extra time under your, um..... hood.

6. We do not want to be your mother. Especially if we have children with you. We want an equal partnership. We understand that it varies day to day on who does more. As long as the balance shifts in an appreciable way, we are happy. We hate to nag, really. Yes, we like to take care of you, we also like to have sex with you. (If this reminds you of your mother, I can recommend a great book. It's got this guy named Oedipus in it.)

7. Know how to give a massage: A massage should not just be foreplay. A massage is one of the most singly unselfish acts that a person can do for another. Granted, massage can lead to great sex because knowing that your partner is doing something solely for your benefit can be a turn-on and we just might feel like reciprocating.

8. Kids: How to narrow this down. First and foremost, you do not babysit your children. I have heard countless dads say that they are babysitting their kids. Have you ever heard a woman spew this nonsense? Second, diaper changing is not the sole domain of mothers. There is not a female gene that makes cleaning up poop any more palatable to us than to a male. Thirdly, with older children, cereal and chicken fingers are not a food group. Know how to feed your kids healthy stuff.

9. Guns: Owning one is a personal choice, but there is a reason Bruce Willis is still popular. A man that knows how to handle a gun seems in control and that he could keep you safe if need be. And deep down, women like men who kick the bad guy's ass.

10. Bugs: Killing bugs is a man's job. Period. We might even let you skip doing the dishes tonight if you will just kill whatever is scurrying across the floor, because while we might be able to handle the frogs, killing a cockroach and picking up its squirming body is just too much.

11. Gifts: Pick your own. Your secretary is not sleeping with your wife, has not watched her push something the size of a cantalope out of something the size of a kumquat when your firstborn came into the world, so why is she deciding what to get your wife? In theory, you should know us better than anyone else. We will be happy with almost anything you pick out for us, but stay away from appliances. Unless we have specifically asked for a vacuum, don't bring home a Dyson, because that vacuum will the the only sucking action going on in your house for weeks to come.

12. Directions: Why is it such a hardship for men to ask for directions? Are you scared of looking stupid in front of us? I guarantee that driving around lost for hours and refusing to ask for help is what makes you look an imbecile.

13. Tits: Know how to tell fake ones from real ones. What is the appeal of silicone boobs anyway? Imagine if men had silicone penises. Wouldn't the guy with the real 10 inch penis feel a little irritated that the fake penis was getting all the attention? We kind of feel the same way when it comes to boobs.

14. Cooking/Food/Wine: Food is a very sensual thing in a lot of ways. It involves all your senses, from the presentation to the scent to the texture of the meal. A man who can cook or appreciates good wine and a good meal is someone who likes to engage all their senses and that is a very good thing in bed.

15. Know your limitations: Every man has a talent. It could be dancing, it could be taxidermy, it could be cooking. If you aren't good at something, don't pretend to be. If you can't dance or sing , a career on Broadway is probably out. Be confident in your abilities but not arrogant in your limitations. Besides I can't remember ever seeing a tap-dancing taxidermist on Hell's Kitchen , can you?

Aging and Strange Things

I was about to write: I'm turning 27 on Monday, but I ended up typing 25 instead :P
So what does that tell u, eh? :P

Well, anyway, I digress. I mean to say, I'm turning 27 on Monday. And last night, as I was talking to a friend I've not chatted with in a LONG LONG LONG time due to both of our schedules, I noticed how the topic has changed. Instead of: 'So how is everyone? Any gossip on who's hooking up with who?' it was 'So who is getting engaged/married?'

Eeekkkkssss.... don't get me wrong, I wish the happy couples all the best and all. But but but... the very topic kinda gives me the hives.... I'm allergic. Kinda. See, it's not like I don't wanna get married, it's just that... the idea just seems kinda far away.

And it just seemed to underscore the fact that... and yes, it IS a FACT as I was telling his friend: MY OVARIES ARE FERMENTING :(

Like I said: Well, unlike the sperm, which is constantly reproduced and replenished, my eggs have been there since embryonic stage, and I KNOW it's AGING... I'm wasting good quality eggs and all.... but but... I'm just a little reluctant at the moment to give in to the maternal urges.

I know it's a little selfish, but, there's yet so much to see, and babies.... changes everything. So does getting hitched.

Yes, I'm more than just a little commitaphobic. Yes, it's a strange confession coming from someone who owns a cunt. Yes, in a way... I AM a cunt. Sighs. See, I just feel that I need to get my life a little more in order.

I need a job I can see myself doing.
or
I need to have a disposable income.
or
I need a disposable nest egg.

THEN I'll be ready to procreate.
and spawn little me-s.... :P

When the time comes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

Why? The following post will illustrate this to the max :P:P:P

**

Here I am... and there's a temple performance outside. Well, it's been there for the past 2 days, ever since I got my bitchy ass over here.

What's my problem with it?

I mean, ok, you wanna have a revelry session, but OMFG it's SO FUCKING LOUD. And SO FUCKING LOUSY. Simon Cowell would die and flip and cringe in his grave!

There's a singing dancing session outside weiiii...... Here are my points:
1. It's fucking LOUD. Okay la, if it's good. It ISN'T.
2. Okay la, if it ISN'T good, if the chicks performing were decent. They AREN'T.
3. Okay la, if they AREN'T, if they're HOT. They're NOT. NOT. NOT. NOT.

It's a temple thing, for fucks' sakes..... The way they're dressed.... It's illegal weiii.... I'd be forgiven if I thought they were TEMPLE WHORES.

HELLO??? I remember commenting about how I walk in coffee shops in shorts and baby tees and get stared at by lascivious old men who'd tell their very daughters that getting dressed like that is asking for rape, with my girlfriends before. BIGOTS. But they have NO QUALMS at staring at nubile young things and grinning lasciviously.

Well, these laohiaos are staring and dancing at the nubile young things dressing themselves up like harem girls dancing for a balding pot-bellied old king, dancing lasciviously in sequined bra and panty set thingies baring their mid-riffs from bust-line to hip-line with matching fashion disaster boots and flimsy transparent scarves or feathers draped around their hips at a TEMPLE event.

Tell me that is just so-not-wrong.

If it were a strip club, I'm cool with it. Hell, if it were a CLUB, I'm cool with it. But this! TEMPLE event! In public! With little kids looking on and thinking it's cool, or it's okay to get whistled at/to whistle at underaged girls dressed like whores. Aiyaiyai.... Wrong la. Just wrong.

It's just that... it's just plain bigotry. Fullstop. Double standards. And please, what are we trying to tell people here?

An Entire Generation of Love Children :P

Wednesday, 23 January 2008. 1608 hours.

Can u believe it's 3 weeks into 2008 already?

It's a wonderful Wednesday, and it's wonderful cos it's a holiday :P

AND my cranky computer decided to be nice today and allow me to type. The 8, i, k, and ',' disappears when he feels like it. :( MEN. :P But he been good boyfriend for 6 years already. Good Boy. :)

WHO SAYS I'M TEMPERAMENTAL? My computer is even more so. BLEK.

So I slept till a wonderful 11am today and wanted to go for a massage. Then I remembered my ankle is still swollen. CRAP. I'd be screaming when the 80+ yr old Indo woman starts massaging. If I have a bruise, it'd hurt worst than breaking a hymen. DAMMIT.

So I clean room today. Well, I TRY :P

Heh. :P Well, I'm cleaning out the files in my computer. Some. :P And I discovered some songs I haven't played for years.

Like an entire album of Barry White. Mmmm Mmmmm :P Nice. Now if only it were night and raining :D Make that a thunderstorm. I swear the man is personally responsible for at least an entire generation of love children. HAHAHA....

I wanna go home. Gah...

I need part-time data entry clerks. :( Who's free, gimme a call. The more the merrier. I can go home, then :D

p/s: WOMEN CAN EJACULATE!! Coolios :P

Listening to: "i'm your midnight angel, i'm a freak, ooohhhh yeaaahhhhh.... i'm a freak of nature" ;) Anastacia is kick ass!

updated:

I CLEANED MY ROOM!! WOOHOOOO!! and the bathroom. and did my laundry by hand. wasn't i such an angel yesterday? didn't eat though. odd. didn't eat the whole day.

while i've been away.....

was away at a WoW house... where all the comps are always in fully-utilised mode, so i didn't have much of a chance to blog despite my wanting to write about several things.

things are in full swing now that i'm back at work (:() but i still really wanna blog about the horny politician.

so an em-ian minister pulls a clinton.... and is considered a HERO cos he 'apologises' about it in public.... though how it's called an apology is beyond me.

what about it irks me?

statements such as 'she is a PERSONAL FRIEND' (hohoho) and 'unsure whether it was old or new'... right....
and his 'next course of action' has yet to be decided: 'I will think about it after meeting the press.' (and fucking 'em female press ppl silly? they're all personal friends)

and then the police are coming down on those who own/distribute the DVD.... HUH?? it's an offense... right...

here's the thing: if he were an opp leader, he'd be crucified downside up by now. and subject to all forms of verbal and what-not abuse on his character...

and really now, his being recorded fucking a 'personal friend' silly should be ample proof of a lack of moral credibility, and he should step down from politics gracefully.

even Clinton would probably have done so if such proof were circulated around the US of A, in, say, Arkansas.

in all seriousness, my bitterness with the ruling team aside:
i'm not saying it's right to invade one's privacy with recordings and such... it IS. but would there be such a crackdown and hue-and-cry on the invasion of privacy if it were, say, an artiste? or just an ordinary person like you or me? or if it were an opposition leader?

yes, temptations abound. perhaps the marriage has long been dead.... but he is STILL married. is it more right for him to maintain his marriage for the sake of posterity (and because it clouds the eyes of the public, therefore, making it easier to enter politics) and then fuck 'personal friends', or 'not-so-personal friends', rather than get a divorce and fuck 'friends' as a bachelor?

it's one thing to be a single man with a fuckbuddy. quite another to be a married/unavailable man with a fuckbuddy.

if you're a confirmed bachelor/bachelorette who doesn't pretend to want a relationship/emotional entanglement, it's a completely different ballgame than a man or woman who has ties that bind.

yes, he may be a good politician, leader of the people, one who does the duties of his office faithfully. perhaps. but betrayal of trust is betrayal of trust. if he were a good politician, etc. etc. then his error in judgment is one the people of his constituency as well as himself has to pay heavily for. which is very very sad... because in all fairness, he HAS been a good Minister of Health, in my opinion.

but fair is fair. pay for his error he has to. and firstly, he has a lot to make up for. to his wife and children, most of all, if they still mean a lot to him. if his marriage has long been over, then it's perhaps about time he stop the farce and file for divorce. if said 'personal friend' is someone he has long wanted to marry, then do so. it's better than living a lie. and lying to the public.

whether it were just a fling, or an emotional entanglement, is BESIDE THE POINT. it doesn't make his behaviour any more RIGHT. in fact, an emotional entanglement, makes it even sadder. because the poor woman AS WELL AS his poor wife has to suffer in silence for such a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG time. how idiot politicians interviewed in the papers (http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/1/6/focus/19931882&sec=focus) can make one less 'sinful' than the other just shows how SHALLOW and SUPERFICIAL some people are. and how they hold DOUBLE STANDARDS for different groups of people.

yes, after marriage, you may still meet another man or woman that you fancy. but is it RIGHT to pursue both at the same time? marriage is a CHOICE. it is a COMMITMENT. it means choosing to fuck one vagina or one penis for the rest of your fucking life (pun intended). it means keeping yourself emotionally, mentally and physically LOYAL to ONE PERSON until you die (or the marriage gets dissolved). it means RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY.

like a job: if you're working for someone, you may still find another job that you fancy. should you pursue both at the same time too? certainly not. you WOULD get fired. and you WOULD receive disciplinary action. but in marriage it's ok? shouldn't you suffer the same fate? isn't a person's tie to another person more important than a person's tie to a job? both are COMMITMENTS. why is one less important than another?

in an ordinary citizen, such behaviour is wrong. ordinary people suffer censure for it. in a politician holding office, does that make it OK? certainly not. perhaps we should make all politicians who say stupid things like that step down as well. because i'm deeply ashamed to hear such idiocy coming out of the mouths of our elected MPs.

but in all sarcasm for the ruling team:
perhaps i should join the party too, so i could fuck around with 20 year-old male gigolos at 50 and call them personal friends. and then still arrogantly say that i'm unsure about how old the tape was, just so ppl will think i 'masih bocor' at 50.

seriously. this place is going steadily downhill. it makes me sick.

the self-aggrandizement and egocentricity of emian politics and politicians sickens me. this just epitomises such disgustingly low-life behaviour.

and the datin.... what the fuck? 'trying to pull a hillary?' was the first thing i told the boy when i read the papers.

i swear by God's footstool and by the heavens, if the boy ever pulls a 'datuk CSL' on me, i'd:
a) call the courts on him and get him crucified.
b) empty his savings and make them MINE.
c) tie him up to a chair next to his own bbq pit, build a slow fire, cut up his stomach with a katana (yes, trust me, i know ppl who collects swords as a hobby), pull out his intestines slowly and start slowly roasting it over the slow fire (while he's still alive, yes...) while:
d) getting several HUGE-ASS STEROID-ADDICTED IRON-PUMPERS in gimp-suits to gang-rape his ass..
e) get all my friends to make a recording of said unwilling homosexual orgy
f) distribute said recording for FREE
g) carve some curses into his sorry penis with a blunt apparatus
h) castrate said sorry penis with said bloody blunt apparatus
i) by the time all that is done, if he isn't dead yet, he'd wish he was.

i know he reads my blog :P and i know that the above was a resurrection of my coldly graphic male-bashing a la Sixth Form. yes, i knew precisely why most guys feared me. i know. there's prime example there. well, i don't care. all the better for him to know that he shouldn't humiliate and cross me that way unless he wants to be tortured and killed slowly and painfully and even more humiliatingly.

but he's an intelligent man :D with a past of his own. i'm sure he knows better ;)

Sleeping Aid

I have a few friends who says the most boggling things. Here is an excerpt from a conversation on MSN with one of them. Yes, I asked his permission to post this up, especially for my single girlfriends' reading pleasures. I think they'd find it as hilarious as I. And I want feedback on his ideas, btw. Do post comments. Anonymously if it makes you comfortable to post something outrageous. Though knowing my friends, they would probably happily post their ideas with their names proudly emblazoned over it :P


Me says (2:57 PM):
LOL: so that's why little boys can run faster than little girls-ball bearings and stick shift!
Mr X says (2:58 PM):
haha
Me says (2:58 PM):
:D oi! what's 7 inches
Me says (2:58 PM):
i give up :P
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
dont give up
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
i wanna know .
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
because i dont
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
lol
Me says (2:59 PM):
huh?
Me says (2:59 PM):
u dont know what's 7 inches?
Me says (2:59 PM):
i dont know la wei
Me says (3:00 PM):
is it anatomy or what?
Me says (3:00 PM):
cant be intestines
Me says (3:00 PM):
that's like 3 basketball court long
Mr X says (3:00 PM):
clitoris ?
Me says (3:01 PM):
cannot be
Me says (3:01 PM):
:P
Me says (3:01 PM):
the labia maybe
Me says (3:01 PM):
the vagina is only 3-4 inches long, i think
Me says (3:01 PM):
but expandable
Me says (3:01 PM):
if i remember right
Mr X says (3:01 PM):
expandable lenghtwise ?
Me says (3:02 PM):
width length depth
Me says (3:02 PM):
amazing thing that is :P
Me says (3:02 PM):
but only the first few centimeters of it is very sensitive
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
if only they were bigger.
Me says (3:03 PM):
nearer up the cervix, surgery can be performed minus anaesthesia..
Me says (3:03 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
i'd make a fortune selling them as sleeping bags
Me says (3:03 PM):
selling vaginas as sleeping bags?!
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
yeah !
Me says (3:04 PM):
wtf
Me says (3:04 PM):
how
Me says (3:04 PM):
what
Me says (3:04 PM):
huh
Me says (3:04 PM):
*boggled*
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
like .
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
ermm
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
stick ur finger in there.
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok, i should hang out with u more often, u say the funniest things
Me says (3:04 PM):
hahahahahaha
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
how good does ur finger feel ?
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
damn nice . .
Me says (3:04 PM):
OMFG :D
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok
Me says (3:05 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
sooo .
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
a vagina sleeping bag would be hella comfortable riht ?
Me says (3:05 PM):
yep
Me says (3:05 PM):
sure
Me says (3:05 PM):
:P
Me says (3:06 PM):
vagina sleeping bag indeed :D
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
wat next ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
what would u come up with next?
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
penis bolster ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
haha!
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
testicle excercise balls ?
Me says (3:07 PM):
a penis is meant to be inside of me, not outside :P
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
i'd make more money marketing it as a bolster than a dildo
Me says (3:07 PM):
:P testicles too sensitive la wei
Me says (3:07 PM):
why bolster?
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
what u ppl end up doing with it is none of my business
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
because more ppl would buy a bolster
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
and its easier to sell
Me says (3:08 PM):
ok... what size would penis bolster be?
Me says (3:08 PM):
pray tell :P
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
4 ft centre bolster .
Mr X says (3:09 PM):
with multiple .. 7inches sticking out and opposite angles .
Me says (3:09 PM):
LOL
Me says (3:09 PM):
wow dude. genius is you yet
Me says (3:10 PM):
i'm damn tempted to post this up anonymously and see what my cheeky girlfriends say about this
Me says (3:10 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
especially the single ones
Me says (3:10 PM):
which is MOST of them anyway
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
hahar
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
do it .

this is what boys are for, btw. :P entertainment!!! :D

Pantheress?

LoL. I just might take this down after this week. :P

Your Score: The pink pantheress

You are 95% sweet, 75% playful, 70% fearless and 40% dominant.

Sweet. Catlike. Somewhat kinky. You are a reference in term of sexuality. You love to play, and to make your partner play with you. Be careful not to be played too much. You have high skills, but also a great imagination. Maybe you consider sex as an art in itself. All we can do is to envy the people who have the chance to spend one night in your bed. However, finding your perfect match is not that easy, since you require a dominant, but yet sweet and gifted partner.

Consider: The bonobo
Avoid: The big cock


Explaination of the variables. You are:

Sweet: If you like to do sweet things, and care for your partner.
Playful: If you are imaginative and like to play together with your partner.
Fearless: If you like to try new things and you are not afraid of what people think about you.
Dominant: If you take the lead most of the time.

Have a look at the other animals:

The donkey
The big cock
The pig
The bull
The nasty kitten
The mantis
The tigress
The lion
The fluffy bunny
The panda bear
The she-wolf
The ram
The puppy
The dalmatian
The bonobo

Link: The which sex animal are you? Test written by GuillaumeC on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My test tracked the following 4 variables.
You scored higher than 90% on sweet:


You scored higher than 81% on playful:


You scored higher than 74% on fearless:


You scored higher than 37% on dominant:

on a cold rainy morning

i'm thinking:

wet hummus on a cold heavily-raining morning smells delightful.

sometimes familiarity breeds contempt, as much as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

sometimes i just wanna be alone. just for awhile. just to discover who i am.

sometimes i hate being a woman. sometimes i wish i were a man.

sometimes i whine so much, i'm disgusted with me.

i need a holiday. badly.

soft light cotton against the skin feels so darn comfy.

i wanna stay in bed. and do things on 400-threadcount sheets. because it's cold. and it's so wet outside. and i'd rather, much rather stay home in bed where it's warm, and where dreams are made.

i think i need to get back to a place where i can see trees that grow naturally, not get planted to give the place an ornamental look. what's happened to a beauty that's wild and wildly natural? i crave for that.

i'm tired. of many many things. of this fragile glittery superficial place most of all. it makes me shallow. it changes me. what if i don't recognise myself anymore if i stay here too long?

i think too goddamn much. and i speak my mind too goddamn much. i should just shut the fuck up sometimes.

i think i'm pms-ing. :(

1754 hours on a Saturday Evening

Gah..... Here are a few things.... Don't blame me if this shocks you. I'm currently very pissy. Due to hunger. And stress.....

1) I'm stuck at work at 1754 hours on a Saturday evening. Say it with me now: Hurrah! Hurrah!

2) Frozen Kinder Bueno is good for the soul. Very good. I'm souled out.

3) I need a wank when I am stressed out. Yes, fuckers, women wank, too. And since I'm not getting laid, I bloody wank. Ok? And don't give me that look already... What's with the gasping? Check out the banner at the top. I DID WARN YOU by saying: "Sexually explicit. Seriously violent. Liberal use of expletives, so be warned. Definitely not for children." Right? There you go. Here's a confession: I DID stop wanking for several LLLOOOONNNNGGGG months due to depression. It didn't help. Brought me lower down. So damn you all, I shall wank as often as I like. All engines need lubrication. I have absolutely no intention to let my va-jay-jay dry up like a wrinkled, sad, old, prune. And NO. Random sex with random strangers might lead to very scary random diseases. I was trained as a Microbiologist. I should know. That's not an option.

4) Random strangers talk to me. Don't ask me why. I don't know. For everyday of this week, some random stranger/strangers have stopped me at least once to ask for something. And to have the same weirdo ask you for money on two separate days and occasions in the same week borders on frightening. EEEEKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!

5) I AM HUNGRY!!! FEED MEEEE!!!! :( Sugar level dipping. Migraine setting on. NO GOOD. NO GOOD AT ALL. Getting very cranky. Snapped at annoying SLP. Uh-oh!

My 200th Blog!! and Orgasm-Enablers...

short blog.

my 200th blog on blogspot, waddya know :)

today at lunch, my boss made an interesting remark.

he mentioned it in relation to objective reality. something about how we control our destinies, etc. lazy to talk about that la. go google it up :) very abstract kinda stuff. it's a thinking that basically renders all major religions in the world irrelevant. :) also something to do with the Black Swan, whereby by the time we reach 15, and/or have had our first sexual experience, we normally would not experience any new experiences.

all our experiences would be repetitive of old ones, that fall into a certain pattern within the filters of our minds.

it's not something new. i've read this before when i was studying psychology textbooks in uni. i happen to find psychology a fascinating subject.

then he says something that possibly stunned my other very conservative, chinese-ed colleagues:

.... therefore, an intelligent man would choose to stay monogamous, since it saves him the hassle of meeting and getting to know new sexual partners. because he knows that new lovers are actually repetitive of old ones. every sexual experience is similar. what's different is how he perceives it in his own mind. the woman is merely an orgasm-enabler.

LoL..... in my mind, i was thinking: hell, yeah.... a hole is a hole is a hole. whether it be yellow, brown, black, white, etc., of a hand, a jacuzzi, or a glory-hole. front-end, rear-end, makes no difference.

but still, to hear this from a MAN. HAHAHAHAHA.... i burst out laughing for a second. i couldn't help it. but of course, i quickly stopped myself. lest my boss finds my laughter too unbecoming :)

*wicked grin*...... i wonder what my guy friends would say about that. orgasm-enabler, indeed....

TITS... TITS TITS GODDAMN TITS...!!!

Wednesday, 13.06.2007. 2221 hours.

Last week, I was given one of the most disheartening news of my life.... :'(

....apparently, i can never get a cleavage!!! *SOB!*

i went for a bra fitting last week. having been on the Pill for about 8 months now, i feel a difference in my breasts.

i also thought i'd like to get me a nice new bra for my friends' weddings.

well, i got the tits alright. they're just everywhere but there. WTF?! big enough cup to make most chink.. oops, sorry, i mean, ricebowl, charlie, cina, yellow, etc. girls faint from delirious euphoria.... but i can never get the damn cleavage.

*stomps feet in frustration*
*throws BIG tantrum*
*goes to one corner and sulks*
*starts with the famous cussing...PKMKNNLLBCCBPBK...*

i mean.... FUCK!!! what's the point of having the breast-flesh when it's not getting me the attention, yes? chuh....

my chest is, seemingly broad. and high. i have, seemingly, a wide chest cavity. well, yes, i always knew that.

one fine day, my idiotic Psychobitch friend smacked me on where she thought my tummy was. instead, she howled in pain. she hit bone. my ribs. MUAHAHAHA... that was when i found out my chest was wider than most.

:( not like i'm an athlete and need that extra oxygen intake/longer breath-holding. unless i'm into dangerous sport like sexual asphyxiation, or something. which i'm not. crazy ah! can die lah! what's her name, Normala Samsuddin, or something like that, probably died from it. well, she certainly made scintillating news for hamsap JAWI guys who stopped talking in court for once.

well, i'm not about to hold my breath to increase the intensity of sexual orgasms. i just want a damn cleavage.

the wide chest cavity displaces the breasts. thank you very much....

so, what's that mean? i need to get E sized tits to get a cleavage? damn.... now THAT would be too heavy.

screw it lah! whoever fucks me has just gotta be happy with what i have. he asks me to get a breast enlargement, i'd counter by saying he get a penis enlargement. fair's fair, mate. bigger titties bring him more pleasure? ok... bigger dick brings ME more pleasure, too! :P

at least i still got me arse to fall back on :P

else... there's always duct tape!!!! :P

i think i'm totally scandalising my readers... and i know at least 2 of my former students read my blog. i've probably horrified them. 'My former BM teacher blogs about her TITS!!' :P

speaking of them, yesterday one of them added me on MSN. then she said: 'HI! so... mmm... what should i call u ah? still teacher? sounds odd...' to which i replied: 'just call me (insert nick here). everyone seems to call me that anyway' she says: 'ok... but still kinda odd...'

:P well, i guess, ya. i used to teach her. she can't be calling me by my nickname, yes? so what should she call me leh?? i also dunno worr...

Anecdotes

been meaning to blog about my Good Charlotte concert, but I just haven't found the time.

Anyway, here are some interesting anecdotes from my morning.

Where?:
In the LRT on my way to work.

Who?:
Male Indonesian worker travelling with his group of other male Indon workers (who is willing to bet with me it's their day off and they are on their way to KLCC?)

What?:
Slingbag that reads..... (drumroll please....)

SEX Doggie Style:

I Sit Up AND BEG.
She Rolls Over AND Plays DEAD.

(kinda in that print)

(Picture of one shaggy gray doggy, with front paws up and panting like his life depended on it [well, maybe it does ;)] and one snow white doggy (back end facing gray doggy) lying on the ground like it's dead....)

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... If the guy weren't an Indon worker, I'd go up to him and tell him: Nice bag, does it reflect your ahem, life?

On the way up from the lobby, crossing the lobby to the lift area, through the car park, a woman suddenly came really close to the place where i was standing. Then she saw me, braked, a made me a rude gesture, obviously telling something to the rest of the aunties in the car.

Well, I don't suffer fools gladly.

1) It's a CAR PARK. Drive SLOWLY.
2) It's the area where you cross from lobby to LIFT. Pedestrian area. Drive SLOWLY.
3) If she hadn't been gossiping with her old cronies, she woulda seen me. I AIN'T THAT SMALL. Some people would say I'm fat, but, anyway. Point made, no?

SOME people. CHUH!

I LIKEEE.......

Exotic bad-ass You scored 70% masculine, 64% athletic, 54% exotic, and 31% refined!

You want everything in a man at the same time! Masculine, built like a Greek god, exotic and mysterious and even some bad-ass in there too. I think you would really like Freddy Ljungberg, the Swedish soccer player. He's the guy on the right. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

This test tracked 4 variables. How the score compared to the other people's:

	Higher than 77% on masculine
	Higher than 47% on athletic
	Higher than 68% on exotic
	Higher than 9% on refined

Link: The What type of MAN turns you on Test written by thinkandcome on Ok Cupid

Hell, YEAH!! Gimme Freddy Ljundberg. Gimme gimme gimme!!

Ohh.... looking at all those Hot hOt hoT hOT HoT HOT! guys sooooo made my day :)

Endorsement

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opposite attraction

opposite attraction

lettrespourmoi wrote about this. She wonders if opposites do attract, and if the attraction lasts long enough to work.

My take?

I think:

Opposites DO attract, but like must marry like or there shall be no happiness.

Reason being:

You need enough differences so you don't get bored with each other after awhile. The appeal of barnacle-clinging only lasts SO long.

Each needs to develop interests apart and independent of each other to add more value into the relationship and to keep the spark alive.

Each partner would need to learn from each other. And why not? We learn new things everyday. Who better to learn from than someone you cherish and care about? Than the person you wake up with every morning, and go to bed with each night?

If both partners do everything together all the time, you'd learn nothing new from each other. And you'd get terribly bored.

The human attention span, unlike diamonds, isn't forever.

That's when you start seeking entertainment outside.

But you need enough similarities at core level to understand where the other is coming from, and to connect with each other.

Too different, and you won't know what the other is talking about.

Just look at the animal kingdom, and you won't find a horse mating with a rabbit. Although both are, by human definition, associated with sex. 'Hung like a horse, fuck like rabbits. '

If you live in two different dimensions, and share nothing in common, apart from, maybe, good looks, or not-so-good looks, how are you going to connect with each other on an emotional level? I'm not talking about the obvious.

Sex is sex, emotional connection is another thing altogether. The sex will fade, and what's there left after that's gone?

What I think is that one has to strike a healthy balance between the two. After all, moderation is always the key.

High-risk females

High risk females

I find the political reaction to this issue amazing. Really, you know, if you don't want to hear the answers, then don't ask the question.

What did the Selangor government expect, asking for a report on sexual prevalence among high-risk female secondary school students?

What about MALE secondary school students, then? Why the sexism? But I digress.

Instead of trying to find focussed, effective, positive measures to handle/ rectify such moral decadence, they are arguing about the methodology of the survey, it's limitations, or whether it is a measure of the cross-section of Malaysian youths.

What does Nemesis say?
What a bloody waste of time.

Don't do a survey if you don't like the possible outcome.

Really now. I think Malaysian holier-than-thou attitude is causing our country to regress rather than progress. A far more shocking survey was recently conducted in Britain, the results of which shows that Briton youths have sex without much knowledge of the consequences of sex. And it's not private knowledge that Britons have sex young.

No, I am not advocating having sex at a young age, I am saying that such surveys are meant to be taken more positively. It goes to show that you can't repress either information, technology or biology.

Did Malaysia really think that our youths are purer than snow? When I was a teacher in an all-girls' school, I have had a 14-year-old student who had had an abortion 3 times. Her boyfriend was much older, and obviously both were very horny. That was in 2001. We turn a blind eye to adolescent deliquency, and especially sexual and reproductive health issues. We pretend it's not happening in this country. We hush any report, or any forum on such issues, taking a ridiculous religious bent.

Oh My God... see where it's taking us? Our youths have no idea how ot deal with sexual emotions in a mature and positive way. Women, naturally being viewed in a more negative light in this country, become victims of passion. Their own, as well as that of men.

Yes, religion has plenty to say about sex. But sexual education is equally important in a world where biology meets religion and career development. Women are getting married later, having babies even later, but having sex earlier. And why not? What with rising toll and petrol prices, and the inflation that ensues such hikes, babies are expensive to bring up.

How 2 people want to live their lives is really up to them. What I want to say is: Allow our youths the benefit of the doubt that they have enough Intelligence to make INFORMED decisions. Give them the facts. Give them the moral bent, the pros and cons of carnal pleasures, the ways to protect themselves. Malaysian youths might surprise you yet.

I had a doctor who told me: I have 3 sons. I tell them about sex from an early age. But I also tell them, "That's someone's daughter you're playing around with. Make sure both of you know what you're doing. And I'd rather you do things at home, than in some obscure place where you might get robbed and murdered. God gave you a brain. Use it." So far, my sons have yet to disappoint me.

THAT is precisely what I meant.

Isn't that so much better than moral policing and constantly spying on fellow Malaysians for the unholy glee of catching them doing something wrong?

Grow up. There's a lot of ugliness out there. How you handle them is what makes it beautiful.