sighs....

Have been deeply disappointed.

With a lot of things.

With myself, probably, most of all.

WHY can't I get a grip on myself?

WHY can't I just let things go?

Just let everything go, you know? Take off. Pack my bags and leave the country.

And never come back.

Wishful thinking.

My body is failing me. My hands are always shaking like I'm on drugs now.

My work... sighs... I wanna sink Singapore into the ocean floor. Too bad I got many good friends there. Else I certainly would've.

My personal life. I don't know what's the deal there. Trying so hard to understand. Failing miserably.

Add to that the fact that I'm a creep magnet... what's the story? Shall save it for another day.

Songs from Childhood.... again

Someone asked to remember childhood songs from church. The two I remember the best, even after all these years were Amazing Grace and Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace.

Especially for the one adapted from the Prayer of St Francis, as my school had many Franciscan Sisters. The prayer was even in the school hall. Each time I despair, this song always seems to calm me down. Here are the lyrics, and a beautiful rendition by Sinead O'Connor on youtube: 

Make me a channel of your peace

Where there is hatred let me bring your love

Where there is injury, your pardon Lord

And where there is doubt true faith in You

Make me a channel of your peace

Where there is despair in life let me bring hope

Where there is darkness only light

And where there's sadness ever joy

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek

So much to be consoled as to console

To be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love with all my soul

Make me a channel of your peace

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

It is in giving to all men that we receive

And in dying that we are born to eternal life

And a rendition of the Prayer of St Francis by the amazing voice of Sarah McLachlan:

I'm sure everyone knows 'Amazing Grace'... c'mon....