Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Request for Petition

I'm calling all Malaysians, within AND with-out of this country, to please sign this petition.

Let's be a people of action, and not just of hot air.

I know I've left my blog unattended/ neglected from time to time, and perhaps not many readers are left from the old days on LiveJournal, or 2005, but for the love of God and country, whichever of you still reads this, I hope you're no longer apathetic to the state of this country. Every person counts, every vote matters, every signature plays a part.

Therefore, I urge you to sign this petition. I have.

Thanks very much!

The Skywalker

Congratulations on your physical and moral victory, Anwarkin Skywalker... I believe it is long due.

It's been raining the past week or so, probably symbolic in cleansing away the dirty hate and favouritism of this country.

While this morning, the warm sunshine fills this land, and we awake to the smell of fresh air, morning dew and warm sunshine. Let's hope this is an omen of better things to come under your care.

Well, the Sky is your limit now. We, as a People have allowed you to walk the skies in your victory.

We're drunk on your promise of One People, One Nation.

Your passionate cry of: "Anak Melayu, anak kita; Anak Cina, anak kita; Anak India, pun anak kita. Mengapa harus kita bezakan?" rings in our ears long after it's gone. It has moved us- to tears and to action.

Your words are to us, of almost equal significance and importance as Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" to African-Americans of the States.

And so, I can only hope that you deliver on your promises for change.

After 50 years of continuing regression into racial segregation, we're hoping that after our Golden Jubilee as a Nation, we'd be able to start mending the rifts. And so, we, as a new generation, have decided to vote for change.

And thus, we hand you our hopes, our happiness, our livelihood and our country on not just a silver platter, but a golden platter, exactly a decade after your fall from grace, and right before we begin the next 50 years chapter of our country.

We can only hope Anwarkin Skywalker does not turn into Darth Vader and leave a melee of destruction in his wake: just because he can.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

My Empire of Dirt

Sunday, 24.08.2008. 0204 hours

My Empire of Dirt

Why do I sometimes despair so?

K asked me out tonight, and I just couldn't say no, tired as I was, lacking sleep as I was, imploding as I was.

The four walls were stifling me. We hadn't talked for awhile, and I just had to get things off my chest. Things I could tell only a handful of people. Things I just couldn't tell you or it'd send us both hurtling into a hopeless spiralling melange of emotions. And when things can't be solved face to face, we'd end up both lying in bed thinking wtf.

Well, I know I do.

The bad dreams do not help either. It's not just insecurity I feel. It's insecurity tinged with a certain amount of resignation.

I try to push all of these aside, but when figures of the past come out of the woodwork and stand tall, I can only feel so small.

Is this delirium?

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become?

Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stain of time
The feeling disappears

You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become?

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

~excerpt: Nine Inch Nails- Hurt~


Saturday, August 23, 2008

Everytime I see you falling....

It's been a long long time since I felt like this. Well, maybe not that long. A year, perhaps?

I feel like turning off my phone, rid myself of all communication, take a long long drive somewhere away from people and just watch the sea. Or the mountains. Or the rivers.

Maybe even take a flight back to my hometown, just to sleep in my own bed. And watch the rambutan tree outside, with the carefree birds chirping in it. But then again, my parents would question me.

And what is there for me to say?

I feel sad. And torn. I wonder why so many things elude me. And opening up the gates to past experiences also mean reopening old wounds. And the resignation that comes with it.

And not being able to speak out about things that matter to the one that matters just adds to the resignation that I may have to choose solitude after all.

It's been raining more on than off for the past 2 days. Most days I love the rain. I do too, today. But it's also not helping with the mood. The heavy rain just feels like sorrow.

Spoke to spuddie the other day. And it felt good to talk to someone who understands without having to say much. Perhaps because it's been there done that for spud.


Why can't things be just a little simpler? For once? Too many trials by fire would have one combust sooner or later.

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say

New Order -- Bizarre Love Triangle

Don't ask me why but I've always loved this song.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

It's been so long since I've last blogged... well, long for me, at least. Had quite a few things to write about, but never did find the time.

I had intention to write about the Permatang Pauh by-election, but after reading this man's blog, I figured, I'd just endorse it here :)

Read, and be moved. For a country that has roots in constitutional monarchy, we should probably be proclaiming: Le Roi, La Loi, La Liberte!

But being an idealist, I much prefer Dupont's words in Revue Republicaine: "Any man aspires to liberty, to equality, but he can not achieve it without the assistance of other men, without fraternity"

So here's Haris Ibrahim's 'Dear Anwar'


Dear Anwar.

I write to you as one anak Bangsa Malaysia to another.

My friends and I were pleased to read in the Malaysiakini report of 14th August that you have forgiven your enemies for what they have done to you over the last ten years, but that you will never forget what they have done to you.

It is good that you have found it in your heart to forgive them, for otherwise you will end up bitter and vindictive like a certain 'past the shelf-life' politician who just simply refuses to fade away.

No, you don't want to carry bitterness within you.

And indeed you must never forget, for it is the remembrance of what you have gone through that will serve you well in two ways.

One, to never do to others or allow to be done by others what has been inflicted upon you.

Two, so that you will not allow those who have wronged you the opportunity to do again what they have done to you before.

My sister, I like Chopin, has asked me to tell you that she has forgiven you your 16 years of involvement, at least by association and failure to dissociate, with the autocratic, dictatorial, corrupt Mahathir administration.

Yes, most of my friends and I, like my sister, have long forgiven you for your involvement in the atrocities committed by Mahathir during his reign of destruction and pillage, even if only by association and your failure to dissociate with his regime.

But like you, we, too, have not forgotten.

Just as remembrance will serve you well, so too us.

Will we ever forget?

I cannot speak for the others, but for me, I think that is really up to you.

Before I proceed further, so as to lessen the hurt, if any, of what I am about to say, let me first say that whilst I have the highest regard for YB Lim Kit Siang and YB Lim Guan Eng, yet in the matter of the politics and governance of this nation, I do not trust them implicitly and without question, because they are politicians and 50 years of BN politics has delivered a hard and painful lesson to many of us.

Don't trust politicians completely.

Many times last year, I wrote in this blog that I wished you would give me a reason to trust you.

Whilst I have to be frank and tell you that I still do not trust you, three things have persuaded me to 'take a chance'.

First, and this is the only rational factor of the three, this nation needs to be rid of the racist, divide and rule politics of BN. UMNO will not change, and the other component parties have shown themselves to be helplessly subservient to UMNO.

You and your party leaders, together with the leaders of DAP, have been taking policy positions or making policy statements that, by far and large, seem to be in line with the aspirations of the people.

I say 'seem' because much still remains to be seen.

I had actually wanted to say all the Pakatan leaders but, truly, PAS has been giving us some serious concerns of late.

The second and the third factors are, in truth, 'gut' reactions.

Raja Petra wrote a series to remind us of the Royal Commission of Inquiry into your 'black eye' beating at the hands of the former IGP.

My eyes teared when I read your testimony about the beating you received and the day after, the condition you were in, and the refusal by the police to afford you treatment.

Yes, I still think you owe the nation an apology for your 16 years in the Mahathir administration.

We, too, as a nation, though, owe you and your family an apology, for all that you and your family have been through these last 10 years.

I am sorry.

Then, on 5th August, I heard you deliver your ceramah in Bentong, Pahang.

I have attended many of your ceramah but, quite frankly, this was the first time that I heard you speak with humility, particularly your appeal to any who might feel inclined to go to Permatang Pauh to help in your election campaign.

What particularly touched me and my family who were present, something that has also got the mention of G. Krishnan in his blog today, was when you said :

"Anak Melayu, anak kita, anak Cina anak kita, anak India, pun anak kita. Mengapa harus kita bezakan?"

Succinctly, you had articulated that which I have felt for such a long, long time and which, without more, sums up the spirit of anak Bangsa Malaysia that I hope one day will be definitive of us as a people of this nation.

It is this last matter that I have mentioned, irrational as it may seem to many, that has most moved me to 'take a chance'.

A word of advice.

Don't make the mistakes of Pak Lah.

You have made us many pledges and promises.

I quote you from the Malaysiakini report mentioned above :

"But how do you run a government and affect changes, move forward - we need a new Malaysian awareness, we need unity of all races, we need a new vibrant economy, we need to reform the judiciary and bring back confidence in a more professional police force - if you get yourself engrossed with the past?…If it (involves) 2,000 acres and two billion ringgit - it's just not my right to forgive, they have to return the money. But otherwise, we cannot afford to drag the entire country back to the past."

Keep your promises to us.

Where we can recover the nation's wealth that has been stolen, we must.

You must not do favours for anyone from the past by interfering with our law enforcement authorities.

Restore what is rightfully due to the rakyat.

On Black 14, I heard you use the phrase 'Ketuanan Rakyat' for the first time.

Do not waver from this.

End race politics.

End the politicisation of Islam.

You must be brave enough to tell the Malays that this country belongs to all the anak-anak Bangsa Malaysia, to remind the Malays again and again that UMNO's ketuanan Melayu is unIslamic and has been their evil tool to enrich themselves and divide this nation.

Do this, and be assured of the strongest support from the majority of anak-anak Bangsa Malaysia who, by far and large, are decent people.

In the run-up to the 12th GE, the rakyat launched an aspirational document called the 'People's Declaration'.

All the Pakatan parties, including yours, indorsed this document.

We took your indorsement seriously and for that reason went all out to work to get the votes for the Barisan Rakyat parties at the last general election.

We will hold you to that indorsement.

A final reminder.

The rakyat today are not like that of 16 years ago.

We understand national issues better, we are better informed, and we have a greater sense of commitment to the ideals of justice and equality.

And we have a newly found self-belief to pursue these ideals and to pursue change.

Understand and remember that we are no longer afraid.

We fully understand today that governance of this nation was intended to be in the hands of the people, and that when you and your party leaders offer to govern, it is with a view to serve us.

Therefore, understand and remember that it is we, the rakyat, who govern through those who have taken oath to serve us.

It is only by abiding by that oath that you might honourably be called a leader of men.

Any less and you would have proven yourself to be no better than those whom you now endeavour to displace.

In the run-up to polling day on the 26th, my friends and I will be in Permatang Pauh to help you in any way we can.

By God's Grace, you will soon be returned to Parliament. May He also continue to bestow you with wisdom and courage to discharge you duties faithfully.

Posted by Haris Ibrahim Filed in Taking back our country

Saturday, August 02, 2008

this is from 101 things every man should know how to do

... and it's fucking funny.

don't ask me why, but i'm one of those chicks who reads guys mags and books written for men and am very entertained by them. although, i also read trashy romance novels that has lines like: as he parted her lips with gentle precision, tenderly licking their tender, moist parting back and forth with firm, gentle strokes, determined to get into her inner sanctum, she moaned and whimpered softly, melting and yielding to his expert caresses.

yep, i just made that one up :P maybe next time i'll write a 12 page long one on just french kissing alone. just for fucks :P

anyway, here goes. laugh out loud. this IS funny, k? i wish i coulda printed this list and put it on the table of someone i formerly worked for who was insufferable, though. he could do with a lesson (or a dozen) on how to impress women. 'nuff said. :D

15 Ways to Your Woman's Heart....and Bed
Author: teresa1699
Word count: 832
Note: These are not in any particular order of importance.

1. Power tools are your friends. So is your woman's vibrator. Do not be intimidated if she knows more about both than you do.

2. Speak more than one language. Note to all men: Sports lingo does not qualify as a second language.

3. Laundry: Do not underestimate the sexiness of a man who can speak eloquently about Tide vs. All. Show me a man who can sort, wash , fold and put away in the correct locations and I will show you a man who gets laid , a lot.

4. Trim that hair (and we are not talking about facial hair). Back hair is a no-no. If we want to see Darwin's missing link in action, we will visit the Museum of Natural History. Trimming your nether regions is highly recommended. We don't like hair in our teeth either.

5. Autos: There is something undeniably sexy about a man who knows his way around an engine. Maybe it's the attention to detail , maybe it's a great ass bent over a hood of a car, whatever the appeal, a man that knows cars seems like he wouldn't mind spending a little extra time under your, um..... hood.

6. We do not want to be your mother. Especially if we have children with you. We want an equal partnership. We understand that it varies day to day on who does more. As long as the balance shifts in an appreciable way, we are happy. We hate to nag, really. Yes, we like to take care of you, we also like to have sex with you. (If this reminds you of your mother, I can recommend a great book. It's got this guy named Oedipus in it.)

7. Know how to give a massage: A massage should not just be foreplay. A massage is one of the most singly unselfish acts that a person can do for another. Granted, massage can lead to great sex because knowing that your partner is doing something solely for your benefit can be a turn-on and we just might feel like reciprocating.

8. Kids: How to narrow this down. First and foremost, you do not babysit your children. I have heard countless dads say that they are babysitting their kids. Have you ever heard a woman spew this nonsense? Second, diaper changing is not the sole domain of mothers. There is not a female gene that makes cleaning up poop any more palatable to us than to a male. Thirdly, with older children, cereal and chicken fingers are not a food group. Know how to feed your kids healthy stuff.

9. Guns: Owning one is a personal choice, but there is a reason Bruce Willis is still popular. A man that knows how to handle a gun seems in control and that he could keep you safe if need be. And deep down, women like men who kick the bad guy's ass.

10. Bugs: Killing bugs is a man's job. Period. We might even let you skip doing the dishes tonight if you will just kill whatever is scurrying across the floor, because while we might be able to handle the frogs, killing a cockroach and picking up its squirming body is just too much.

11. Gifts: Pick your own. Your secretary is not sleeping with your wife, has not watched her push something the size of a cantalope out of something the size of a kumquat when your firstborn came into the world, so why is she deciding what to get your wife? In theory, you should know us better than anyone else. We will be happy with almost anything you pick out for us, but stay away from appliances. Unless we have specifically asked for a vacuum, don't bring home a Dyson, because that vacuum will the the only sucking action going on in your house for weeks to come.

12. Directions: Why is it such a hardship for men to ask for directions? Are you scared of looking stupid in front of us? I guarantee that driving around lost for hours and refusing to ask for help is what makes you look an imbecile.

13. Tits: Know how to tell fake ones from real ones. What is the appeal of silicone boobs anyway? Imagine if men had silicone penises. Wouldn't the guy with the real 10 inch penis feel a little irritated that the fake penis was getting all the attention? We kind of feel the same way when it comes to boobs.

14. Cooking/Food/Wine: Food is a very sensual thing in a lot of ways. It involves all your senses, from the presentation to the scent to the texture of the meal. A man who can cook or appreciates good wine and a good meal is someone who likes to engage all their senses and that is a very good thing in bed.

15. Know your limitations: Every man has a talent. It could be dancing, it could be taxidermy, it could be cooking. If you aren't good at something, don't pretend to be. If you can't dance or sing , a career on Broadway is probably out. Be confident in your abilities but not arrogant in your limitations. Besides I can't remember ever seeing a tap-dancing taxidermist on Hell's Kitchen , can you?