Thursday, August 31, 2006

i've been a bad bad bad girl....

I've been a bad bad bad girl....

i've been a bad bad bad girl....

went to times square today with a coursemate.... and i went NUTS.... and RAISINS...... and BANANAS..... OMG.....

found this little shop that has the greatest businesslady i've ever met..... and she's EVIL.... cos she brings out all the lovely stuff that fits like a glove, and gets you to try them on. and did i buy buy buy....

spent RM220 on 7 pieces....
1. dark red dress.... straight cut at the bust, with collars coming down to the sides, and short sleeves. great for a night out, great for work. length: just below the knee. a-line cut, which fits me best. that i think i'm saving for CNY :p very red man :p but gorgeous. wish i had a digicam to take pics...
2. an orange top, with ruches as a V-neckline (need to be worn with a boobtube), and ruched at the front too. bright orange... i think i'm insane. long sleeves... but it just looked delectable on me.
3. a short golden dress. RM19. i just had to get it. it looked fabulous.
4. black button downed shirt with lace for its short sleeves. fits like it was tailored.
5. beautiful blue cotton babydoll top, with gorgeous crocheted embroidery. wow.... i loved it. just had to get it too.
6. white peasant cut short-sleeved top with embroidery. so pwettieee..... so schweet.... :p
7. long strapless dress in beige. with those buttons u get on jeans all down the front, ending at the waist, and on breast pockets (what do you call those buttons??? i forgot) rugged, yet elegant. and so easy to wear. just pull over the head. yeah, it's elasticised at the back. lovely....

that's just from that one shop.

i'm not telling u other purchases, or i'd feel guilty.

but oh... the best thing was, as i was leaving, we passed by a shop.... it said: Dinner dresses
1. RM 30 per piece
2. RM 40 per piece
3. Buy One Free One....

I HATE THE MEGASALES!! the dresses were sooooooo PRETTY!!! *groan.... i HAVE to go back!* (evil dida) *NO! DIDA, NO!!!!* (good dida).... i'm hearing voices...... they're now quibbling.... they're now squabbling.... now they're pulling at each other's hair.... HELP!!!! I NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP!!! Where's Val, Xan and Zac??? *sobs....*

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

my skin is so blah

My Skin is So Blah

i hate my skin. it is so blahh... today, i decided to ask the nice pharmacist at alpro about what she thinks i should use for my crappy face. so she recommended i try avene. right... said she herself uses it, and none of the customers she had recommended it to had any complaints so far. so being the sucker that i am, i got it. well, if this doesn't work, it's yasmin for me. fuck... except i might as well be getting laid, too, if i start using OCPs, right? sighs.... i hope my parents do not read my blog :p

on a happier note, i went to and it turns out that i look like, among others...: well, check this out for yourself

Click here to create your own Celebrity Collage on MyHeritage - best site for your family tree and photos

in this pic, anne looks like boa, and sharine looks like ai otsuka... i dunno who :p

Click here to create your own Celebrity Collage on MyHeritage - best site for your family tree and photos

i got tired of writing comments :p but OMG! i look like a MAN... matthew lillard... oh GAWD....

i think they match the mouth...?

Sunday, August 27, 2006

lazy day

Lazy day

There really isn't much to blog about. But I fear the wrath of my friends/ fellow blogders/ fellow bloggers/ buddies in boredom who might kill me for not blogging anything of substance (substance meaning 'daily life' and not 'bloody T. S. Eliot (I wonder what Eliot fans, (OR the literary community :p) would say to that ;))

So what's new? I know I should be revising, I had planned to be reading up on O & G, but it is so hot and I am so lazy. So what did I do? Slept almost the whole day. Daydream about certain males. Check out my brand-new, clean-shaven ***** (HAHA!! Gotcha, Bren :D just kidding) Listen to some jazz. Check out this site: mainly cos I think Kevin Sites is cute, though actually, I much prefer Robert Fisk's journalism. Hey, remember the days when Christiana Amanpour was so hot? :)

Anyway, Hotzone just serves to remind me of how dumb/ narrow-minded some westerners can be. Especially when it comes to Eastern (to be speaking in a very broad term) religions, values and cultures. I really feel that a lot of the world's problems can be reconciled, if not solved (that would be asking for the moon and the stars) if the world would be willing to be educated about each other's cultures, values and beliefs via dialogue, inter-cultural exchanges, education and the like.

From the comments written there about the reporting on the Israeli-Hezbollah war, some of Kevin's readers are, dare I say, downright bloodthirsty. I was shocked, though perhaps I shouldn't have been, by some of the comments. "It is us against them, and it is better us" (Us being Israel and the US) "Iran is a legitimate target, so is Syria and any other country that calls for destruction of Western values. Iran and Syria have being chanting death to America and death to Israel. They have plenty of people who want to become martyrs. Why don't we grant them their wish."

Granted I think the fundamentalist M views on 'being granted 40 virgins in heaven if we die martyrs' downright STOO-PIT!, I really don't think that Western values are all that great. Come to think of it, what IS the definition of Western values anyway? Eastern values are easily pointed out: obedience, filial piety, to name a few. Western values? Any ideas?

I think the commentator has forgotten that Christianity itself has roots in the Middle East. (I assume the writer to be Christian, because at one point, s/he made the silliest comment ever: that Lebanese civilians who want to evade Israeli bombings should run to Christian areas...)

The particular dude believes that to solve all conflicts, Israel and the US should just kill off Hezbollah. I have never seen such a silly and narrow-minded point of view. Really, Hezbollah, like Al-Qaeda cannot be destroyed overnight. It is, I believe the result of YEARS and perhaps even CENTURIES of bitterness and hatred, and twisted education on the part of their religious leaders. It is no longer Religion, it is now Fanaticism.

The crisis in the Middle East have lasted for aeons. It cannot be solved just by killing their leaders. Their guerilla militia are trained in many countries, some even peaceful, more neutral ones like Jordan, or Egypt, or Turkey. Some are even educated in America itself. The seeds of such hatred and dissatisfaction do not lie so much in their religion, as it is in their upbringing. Perhaps, it is also in their interpretation of their holy book.

But such discrepancies in interpretation not only occur in their religion, it also occurs in Christianity. I had a former coursemate who told me that in her church, she should/ could not:
a) wear any form of jewelry whatsoever
b) befriend anyone of a different 'sect' i.e. (thou shalt not yolk with unbelievers)
c) cut her hair
d) wear tight-fitting/ revealing clothing (e.g. baby-tees, plunging necklines, short skirts, and the like)
e) use any form of make-up (no painting the face!)

The first thought that went through my mind: They probably appreciate the 'purdah'. Really now! She says it's because her church takes 2nd Timothy to heart. ??? Oh well.... Just goes to show, doesn't it? Another example: How do you explain the Mormons?

But I digress, that was just an example. What I was trying to point out is that a loosely formed organisation like Al-Qaeda and Hezbollah would not be wiped out just by shooting a few leaders (watch Munich for a good example) because the death of one leader might just bring to rise another more bloodthirsty leader to take his place. There would just be the sprouting of many others who would willingly take the place of past leaders in the name of God and Glory (I believe, more Glory than God) It is a vicious vicious cycle. And any narrow-minded, short-sighted world leader (by this, one particular FOUR-LETTER WORD president comes to mind) who can't see that is seriously in need of Diplomacy 101 and Middle-Eastern Education 101.

Sometimes I think some Westerners lack a great deal of tact. And diplomacy. And understanding of the world beyond their borders. And they seriously need to wisen up. With the frightening speed of globalisation, the rest of the world can easily access such open websites as that and realise (whilst rolling their eyes) at how obviously hilarious their misunderstandings and cultural faux pas can be.

*note: disclaimer: views are mine own. not the views of every asian/ christian/ asian christian out there. and by westerners, i am boldly generalising. i am aware that there are nice, understanding westerners as well. thank god for that!

Saturday, August 26, 2006



A couple of weeks back, Sharon asked me if I really wanted a de-fuzz-ment of the Netherlands, and I said: Sure! Why not? Yeah, I think I do. To which she replied: You're sure ah? Cos I can transfer mine to you. Since mine was a buy one free one package. And you can come with me, because I want to do my manicure and lash extension anyway. The package has to be redeemed by this month.

So we decided to go to Strip today for the redemption of packages.

This was what happened this afternoon when I msn-ed Sharon to reconfirm plans (recalled to effect, not recalled verbatim):

Me: I went for that Indo massage I was telling you about with Anne. WAHHH... damn painful man! Buang angin massage. 2 hours. But damn worth it for RM25. Anne say I siao, yesterday went for massage, today go defuzzing. She say I like pain :p

Sharon: U silly dingbat, such a sucker for pain

Hurhurhur.... yeah, I guess so.

What happened? Well, like I said in my previous post, I guess there are some ppl I know who'd love to be in the beauty consultant's shoes. Haha... I'm a defuzzing virgin, but honestly, I thought the massage hurt more. This was just a temporary pain. The pain of the massage lasted longer! It's still hurtin' :p The consultant was very good, though. She asked 'All off?' And when I said, 'Yup.' She proceeded with:'Have you done this before?' And when I said no, she proceeded to explain the procedure to me. She even asked: 'How is your threshold for pain?' I told her I'd never tried, so I wouldn't know. She was very quick, and quite gentle. 'Temperature ok for you?' Fine. 'Ok.' Quick spread, pasting of cloth, 'Breathe in. Breathe out.' Strip! And it was off. She looked up and said:'Your pain threshold: not bad. Some would have screamed by now. This is the most painful.' Uhhh... ok, lady, you didn't go for indo massage with slightly sadistic old auntie. Hehehe... This is nothing in comparison to that! Strangely enough, the posterior region didn't hurt as much as the anterior! I wonder why men are so squirmish about their backside? Hmm.... makes one wonder.

Yup, so in conclusion: I feel like a pre-pubescent now :p I've not been fuzz-less for more than 10 years? Next time, I should go for purrrtie patterns.... at least got something lah. She said to go back in a month :p Erkk... don't think so. It's expensive lah :p Besides, I'm a sucker for pain, no? :p Satisfaction ;)

Thursday, August 24, 2006


quick one. getting sleepy. forgive the lack of concern with spelling, caps and the like :p

went for an indonesian massage with a friend today. oh lawd.... she's good. but it bloody hurts lahh.... full body massage, for RM25. yes, granted it's in a run-down low-cost room. but it was goooooddddd..... it was raining very heavily though, when we got there, so i guess the old lady took her time with me. she took nearly 2 hours. posteriorly: calves, thighs, butt, back, shoulders, arms. anteriorly: calves, thighs, abdomen, pelvis, breasts, arms.

yeah, u read that right. very shy lah, but she insisted :p very shy because she snickered when she saw me getting uncomfortable. then she asked: sudah tunang? to which i replied: eh, belum. and she laughed and asked: dara lagi? *gulp* iya, ibu :p HAHAHAHA.... oh well, i wonder why old aunties have touched me more intimately than any man ever has. how ironic!!

i've never been 'molested' in my life (except for the once when Be smacked my left bottom so hard in front of the whole class in U6B, the class fell silent and stared. and i was shocked first before i blushed furiously) until i started working in a medical centre. there the longest-serving nurse (about 60+ years old) took her liberties with me, and in public to boot. grabbed my butt from behind, smacked it real hard, pinched me, and yeah, she grabbed my boobies from behind once too. in public, yes. i've never been so mortified in my life :p very strange woman. but her pastas are heaven! i wonder if she humiliates her daughter that way :p

and now this, approximately 70 years old lady massaging the insides of my thighs and my breasts. and taking her time too. i resign myself. and i rest my case.

BUT!! may i say, RM25 is good money for such a thorough massage. hurts like fuck, though. even now, my whole body is sore. i think i'm masochistic. today i went for a very painful 'buang angin' massage. tomorrow i'm going off for de-fuzzing. if things go as plan :p

yep, i think s&m is right up my alley :p i hope this doesn't come back to haunt me :p

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? Why the sudden onslaught of caring? After the way you treated me. After all that you've done. After all your toxicity.

Even your ex notices how you treat me when you were still dating. Didn't think I'm still talking to your ex, did you? Didn't think that of all things, it was YOUR MOTHER who gave me his number, did you? Oh, 'lady' there is so many things you don't know I know about you. Just because I don't say it, and just because I haven't been pushed far enough yet, doesn't mean I won't use it one day.

Even Aristotle Onassis had a little black book. Why do you think he became so rich and powerful? Too bad I haven't Onassis' conscience. I'd have screwed you and applied the pressure a long time ago. Perhaps I should have. You more than deserve it. You be careful now. Did you know ur ex asked me before: Why do you put up with her? Why do you let her do all that to you? You're too nice, you know? And she knows you're soft-hearted. You be careful with her. I bet you she's master-minding something.

You are using my soft-heartedness against me, aren't you? That's exactly what you're doing, isn't it? After years of dissing me off, after years of putting me down, after years of making me feel fat, stumpy and ugly, and an absolute nerd, now when I look better than I have in years, all of a sudden, you feel challenged, eh? Now that your position in life has changed drastically, all of a sudden you want a taste of what you used to have?

Darling, what I have, and what you have is light years apart. I might not have men who buy me things, but I know I have genuine friends who care for me and who would look after my backside and help me out when I need them. You have no idea what that's like. You don't know how I thank God each day that I have these people in my life. UNchristian, UNgodly, and as UN-church-going as I am. What's the point of going to church when your entire life is a lie? That's called being a Pharisee.

As for your former life, TOO LATE, bay-beh. We all have to pay the price for our choices. Decisions come with consequences. You made your bed, you sleep in it. 3 buzzes in 4 days, I say that's a record. Asking for something you know damn well you can obtain without asking me for it. Unfortunately, for you, 'lang si oo hoi eh', your little games have gone too far. Years of getting annoyed has culminated in one icy decision.

Those who know me would know, I have little fires, but when you've gone too far, I'd suddenly turn to ice, and it's so cold, it burns. Like the liquid nitrogen I used to use for storage of cells. Honey, I seriously couldn't give a damn anymore about you. Oh! If your car broke down along the North-South Highway, I still might give you a ride to the nearest town, but that's all. A common courtesy for a common stranger.

You abused my friendship. You abused my trust. You abused my nice-ness and tried to play ring-a-ring-a-roses around me. You climbed over my head, and then rubbed hot chilli into my eyes. And when it bled, you rubbed salt grains into the wounds. Oh yes, I am tired of this. Yes, I am nice, I am also a very very blur sotong, but I ain't stupid. For years, I've watched you. For years, I've waited for you to realise how self-absorbed and selfish you could be. For years, I've tried to gently talk to you. Well, I'm sorry. Maybe I am no longer as patient as I was, but I couldn't be bothered anymore.

You tried making me your doormat, and tried grinding your dirty boots in it, didn't you? Well, watch me dust said doormat in your face. GO FUCK YOURSELF. OH, wait, you've been fucking so many men in your life, you're probably a public toilet by now. Not free, but still cheap.

Btw, I'm proud to be a nerd. It comes with it's perks. And I am a pretty good-looking nerd anyway, if I may say so myself. It's way better than being a ditzy jock bimbo, with a hole the size of a crater on the moon.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006



Went to collect the IC that I had to make when my bag was snatched in March with Sham and Sharon (Sham had to collect his as well). After that, it was a little too late to go for class, so I followed them to their office and Plaza Damas and went jalan-jalan while they worked for awhile.

After that, we decided to lepak at Midvalley and watch Nacho Libre... which, may I add, was a RIDICULOUS movie ooxxooXoxxOXXx WTF? Hehe... :p but hell, just for larks lahh... but the highlight of the evening was going for crabs at a place called Wong Poh at Dataran Prima. We invited several other ppl, but due to the fact that it was so last minute, all of them had made other plans already. I liked Anne's answer best. "Darn! Uek! I hate u! :-P" (something like that... HAHA)

The crabs are addictive.... I swear they put drugs in 'em to draw us back. Hehehe.... I especially loved the Deep Fried Crabs in Salted Eggs. It was about as good as the one I had in Jalan Imbi when I was first introduced to it. Yummy-licious! We also had Sweet and Sour Crab which was chockful of ginger and garlicky goodness :D It was good, too, but I prefer salted to sweet stuff :) Not a reflection of the crabs, just a personal preference. Add to that a plate of kangkung belacan, and we were done. No rice :p You should have seen the face of the lady who took our orders :) I had to repeat myself. Hehehe.... We ate till we were stuffed... and yeah, I won the Who-Can-Clean-Up-Crabs-Best competition :p *kobeks Sham... hehehe*

All in all, Loved the food :) but Great Food with Wonderful Company makes a Fantastic Meal ;)

Saturday, August 19, 2006



We parked outside the hotel at a major shopping complex and waited. The car jockey service came over in a very unfriendly manner to ask why we stopped there, so I told him we were waiting for a friend. He asked how long we were going to be, and so I retorted that she was coming right down. What an arse.... the service industry in Malaysia seriously sucks. There are much nicer ways to say the same things.

He could've come over and said: Excuse me, sir, ma'am, this is a non-parking area. If you stop here, you might be obstructing traffic to both the hotel and the shopping centre.
To which we'd reply we were waiting for a friend, and he could have said: Oh! In that case, would you be long? Would 5 minutes be enough for you? Any more than that and I'm afraid I might have to ask you to move.
And, SMILE, GODDAMIT!! Does it take that much effort to stretch your mouth upwards?

Anyway, back to the main story. We waited and speculated how she'd look like. We haven't seen her for at least two years. Then we spotted her bouncing towards the main entrance, smiling as though her face would crack in two :D Yeah, apparently she STILL bounces when she walks, and she STILL smiles till her eyes were almost slits.... hehehe.... some things never change.

We got out of the car in excitement, and when she saw us she started running to the door :p and then she stopped as we went to her one by one to give her hugs :) After the hugs, she screamed and ran towards the car to 'molest' (in her own words) the poor boy who was driving :p Yes yes, she still says the most outrageous stuff!!

I suppose the thing about friends is that we remember the little things, especially when it comes to good friends that grow up and move away. When we meet, it's as though the years seem to fall away, and we regress to childhood. :) It happens during every CNY gathering when there's a big group. We're not 25, we're 18 and exciteable again. 'Oh! Look at you!! Oh wow.... that's changed! But u're still the same!!' :)

She's still the same. She's streaked her hair, put on a bit of weight and lost it again, but she's still outrageous, still funny, still bubbly. She's still the same girl to me as when she had hair past her shoulders a couple of years back, and she was currently single then, as the rest of us still are :p and we were all crammed into a little white kancil, and she made a shocking statement about 'frozen hotdogs...'

She's still the same girl to me as when she was class monitor and holder of the sacred toilet key. She's still the same girl to me as when she'd burst into loud laughter in class and start shooting staples at poor innocent victims.

She's still the same 'gila' girl I know who had a heavy fringe across her forehead and sleek long black hair. And she's still the girl I remembered from primary school whose school T-shirt I borrowed once during sports day because something happened to mine.

She's still the same. And yet she's different. And so am I. She's gone through some stuff, I've gone through some stuff, and we're both older now. Hopefully, wiser and more mature, too.

But when we meet up, we shall regress back to childish behaviour and childhood :p Because sometimes there's happiness in memories, especially the ones seen through the slightly rosy-tinged portraits in sepia.

I'm tired of this...

I'm tired of this...

I'm tired of this...
Delicate balance upon which I hang
I'm tired of this...
Unwanted memories going through my brain

I'm tired of this...
Remembered feelings that comes unbidden
I'm tired of this...
Painful secrets, even from myself, I'd kept hidden

I'm tired of this...
Powerful emotions going through my heart
I'm tired of this...
Wishing sometimes I'd be a little more smart

I'm tired of this...
Tossing and turning during sleepless nights
I'm tired of this...
Internal dialogues turning into fights

I'm tired of this...
Each time I've tossed you off of my mind
I'm tired of this...
Something turns up to remind me of the ties that bind

I'm tired of this...
Each road I take seems to lead to you
I'm tired of this...
Each thought of you seems stuck like glue

I'm tired of this...
Knowing that no matter how hard I try
I'm tired of this...
Nothing could stop the tears that I'll cry

I'm tired of this...
Undisguised passions coming to the fore
I'm tired of this...
Unstoppable needs hitting to the core

I'm tired of this...
Praying to God I had more control
I'm tired of this...
Knowing full well this would take it's toll

I'm tired of this...
Wishing somehow there'd be an end to this
I'm tired of this...
Knowing sometimes ignorance is bliss

I'm tired of this...
Repeating this shit as though it were a mantra
I'm tired of this...
Knowing bloody well it's a personal Golgotha

Friday, August 18, 2006



I'm rather free today, so I have time to blog. Plus the fact, it's raining, so it's really nice to be writing stuff at a time like this :)

I'm meeting my old school mate, the one we call Bebe, tonite :) together with her unimates, whom I happen to get to know last year :) It's funny how the world works. I think in a place like Malaysia, the degree of separation is definitely less than 6. Make it 2, or 3 :p

Oh!! And just in case I don't blog tomorrow, and just in case she reads my blog, I want to wish Shireen a Very Happy Birthday!! muaxxx....



Ok, here goes. My good buddies from school days claim that I have been pussy-footing about blogging :p Well, I suppose. But hear me out! I've been genuinely busy, and I'd hate for my cute-sy, male-attracting, big arse to end up in jail lest the government calls it 'untruths, slanders, causing disturbance, or compelling the public to lose faith in the nation', 'cos let's face it, I am not too hot about how this nation is being run in certain ways, and those who know me knows that I'm not shy about saying that. :p Let's hope THAT line doesn't get me in jail.

Since stating my opinions in my own space can get me in a whole lot of cow's manure, so I suppose I shall talk about mundane stuff.

Davi wants to know about MY LIFE :p even the contents of my bowel, so here goes:

MY CURRENT SITUATION SUX. I mean the continuation of my tertiary education. I love what I am studying, but the place tanks. Big time. You want details, e-mail me. I never know who bloody reads my blog, so I shan't publicly criticise the hellhole and the anechoic brain. (ultrasonographic jargon. e-mail me for definition, too) At least, it isn't yet time to rail against authority. If I'm gonna pick a fight, I should pick the right fights.

Socially, I am good. Have made several really good friends in the past one year. There are intelligent, pleasant and genuine people out there. You just gotta meet them, and find them.

My love life is still in the same old quandary, the same old rut. 'Nuff said :p Don't start becoming like my aunties during CNY and start questioning me about matrimonial issues. Whoa.... *run, dida, run... run as fast as ur legs can carry u!!* But, like a dear friend said: Oi, woman, you should get laid! :p Hehehe... maybe, but I ain't ready for THAT. Not that I'm not horny, for fuckssakes', (oops, sorry Bren, blame it on the stress :p btw, ppl, Bren wants me to cut down on cussing :p) I AM five-and-twenty years of age, as Austen would write it, and a veritable old, wrinkled prune of a maid. Never had a boyfriend, so yes, I am horny. KNNCCB :p I hope I don't regret posting this tomorrow. (oh! my already shredded reputation :p)

I had also gotten me a new nickname, derived from the old one. And it sounds obscene :p Oh I hates that boy :p

What I've been recently doing, apart from school work? I've rearranged my room. YAY!! And I've decorated it, somewhat. Put up pics of wildlife :) and pasted up my collection of postcards. Yep! I collect postcards. I think Bren knows that. Hmmm..... Davi, I shoulda finagled some from you while you were travelling from place to place :p Maybe you could send me a postcard from London, now that you're there. Hehehe.... Btw, that's a nice way of saying: SEND ME A POSTCARD, YOU *****!! :p (no, no subtlety there!)

Since Davi asked to know the contents of my bowel (*evil grin*) I shall tell her (and you all have to sit in and read :p) I have been having diarrhoea of late (I wonder why) and so my bowel content has been watery, yellowish (bilirubin/biliverdin), and considering the spicy food I have been having, I could see chilli flecks in it, too..... Ok, I can't do this to my poor readers :p and I'm laughing too hard to continue anyway.

Spiritually, I am still exploring. No, that doesn't mean I've lost faith in God, and all that jazz, it just means I think it's good to question one's own faith. We learn more that way. I still think organised religion is a lot of trouble, btw.

It's the megasales, so yeap, I've been doing some shopping. My proudest purchase so far is a relatively heavy silver and golden rutilated bangle that's in the shape of a dragon. Friggin' cool :) I love it! Sorry, no cam, so no pics. Hehehe... I love accessories. :) Oh! And a dangly pair of red coral earrings. Gorgeous, fire-engine red. I want a pair of fuck-me 4'-high red stilletoes next :p Hunting for the right pair with the right height, but apparently Malaysians don't seem to wear stilletoes very much. Sighs... At least, not in red. I don't get it. :p I've also been going crazy over skirts, don't ask me why!

Conclusion: Overall, life's been bearable :D I've got family, and good friends both here and abroad. Yeah, I had a bout of 'I miss Kuching and all my buddies from there' and the occasional nostalgia, but life goes on and people move on, so I'm coping just fine. I just hope I pass my exams in November and get the fuck out of here :p Wish me luck, ppl. And pray to whichever God you believe in for me :D

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

the roses

The Roses

5 pink rose blooms were seen when I walked back from school today. I had thought they were half-dying plants. Just goes to show what hope is there. Oh, it's a beautiful day!
I am meditating on this:

Lady of silences
Calm and distressed
Torn and most whole
Rose of memory
Rose of forgetfulness
Exhausted and life-giving
Worried reposeful
The single Rose
Is now the Garden
Where all loves end

Terminate torment
Of love unsatisfied
The greater torment
Of love satisfied
End of the endless
Journey to no end
Conclusion of all that
Is inconclusible
Speech without word and
Word of no speech
Grace to the Mother
For the Garden
Where all love ends.

Although I do not hope to turn again
Although I do not hope
Although I do not hope to turn

Wavering between the profit and the loss
In this brief transit where the dreams cross
The dreamcrossed twilight between birth and dying
(Bless me father) though I do not wish to wish these things
From the wide window towards the granite shore
The white sails still fly seaward, seaward flying
Unbroken wings

And the lost heart stiffens and rejoices
In the lost lilac and the lost sea voices
And the weak spirit quickens to rebel
For the bent golden-rod and the lost sea smell
Quickens to recover
The cry of quail and the whirling plover
And the blind eye creates
The empty forms between the ivory gates
And smell renews the salt savour of the sandy earth
This is the time of tension between dying and birth
The place of solitude where three dreams cross
Between blue rocks
But when the voices shaken from the yew-tree drift away
Let the other yew be shaken and reply.

Blessed sister, holy mother, spirit of the fountain, spirit of the garden,
Suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood
Teach us to care and not to care
Teach us to sit still
Even among these rocks,
Our peace in His will
And even among these rocks
Sister, mother
And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea,
Suffer me not to be separated

And let my cry come unto Thee.

~from Ash Wednesday, T S Eliot

Monday, August 14, 2006



I wanted to blog :p but now I'm too darned sleepy. Maybe later. Here's something, though :)

Your Five Factor Personality Profile
You have high extroversion.You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"
You have high conscientiousness.Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.Most things in your life are organized and planned well.But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.
You have medium agreeableness.You're generally a friendly and trusting person.But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.
You have low neuroticism.You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
The Five Factor Personality Test

Friday, August 11, 2006

Of lollies, childhood and Bazoombas :)

Of lollies, childhood and Bazoombas :)

The other day I noticed the cutest thing. Some children at the place where I'm staying was having a party on a Saturday afternoon. When I went down to buy some dinner for myself, I noticed the group had dispersed, and there were 4 lollipops 'planted' side-by-side in the ground where some young saplings were growing :) I wonder: were they hoping that if they planted the lollies, the lollies would grow and produce more lollies for them? :) Oh well, children do the darnest things :) It makes me miss the naivete and innocence of childhood, the endless curiosity, daring and creativity. Strange how seeing things like that makes me feel like an old, wrinkled prune :D
Anyway, I'm going to sleep. Just got back from Swensen's where a group of friends were celebrating another's birthday. The birthday girl says sleeping would help enlarge her ****ies. Well, HELL, if that's the case, I'm going to sleep at 8pm from today onwards. My Bazoombas (refer to previous post) need some help in the enlargement department :p Tsk tsk.....

Tuesday, August 08, 2006



:p Here's more....
Going on overdrive....

You Are Best Described By...
From the Lake, No. 1by Georgia O'Keeffe
What Famous Work of Art Are You?

wahhh.... I am blue....

You Should Spend Your Summer at the Beach
You're a free spirit who is always thinking of new ways to have fun.And you don't just love summer... you live for it.So, you really should blow off your responsibilities and head to the beach!
Where Should You Spend Your Summer?

YESSSSS!!!!! What happened to my beach island holiday? :'(

Your Boobies' Names Are...
The Bazoombas
Boobie Name Generator

lol... my boobies have names.... what's the world coming to!

Your Lucky Underwear Is Red
You're confident and bold, and your lucky red underwear will only make you more sure of yourself.You have a great zest for life, and you tend to take on impossible goals - and succeed.
When it comes to love, it's hard for you to take the time to open up. You're too busy conquering the world.So if you're looking for a little more romance, put on your red underpants. And see where their passion takes you!
What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?


You Are 60% Open Minded
You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.
How Open Minded Are You?


Your Summer Ride is a Beetle Convertible
Fun, funky, and a little bit euro.You love your summers to be full of style and sun!

OMG!! I LOOOOVVVVEEEEE the beetle convertible. In BRIGHT YELLOW :p or RED.... hehehehe

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical
You blog like no one else is reading...You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose.Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily.But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

HAHAH!! No lahh, I just get terribly NAAASSSTY... like: go **** your mother lahh... why spend time read my blog for? :p that sorta thing..... (sorry, Bren :p reminiscing old times... days when I'd happily label my own blog (paying a visit to a proverbial verbal toilet....)

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange
At Your Highest:
You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.
At Your Lowest:
You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.
In Love:
You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.
How You're Attractive:
You are very affectionate and inspire trust.
Your Eternal Question:
"Am I Respected?"

I like orange red....

You Are 88% Lady
No doubt about it, you are a lady with impeccable etiquetteYou know how to put others at ease, even if their manners aren't the greatest.
Are You A Lady?

:p oh now THAT's amazing :p I'm sure plenty would disagree!! I am myself in doubt :D

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male
Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your headSweet and considerate, you are a giverBut you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!
What Gender Is Your Brain?

There are days when I HATE being a woman....

You Communicate With Your Body
This isn't as bad as it sounds, it just means that you're a "touchy-feely" person.You need a lot of affection in your life. And for you, this means both giving and receiving little touches.Warm hearted, you bond with people easily. In fact, you often feel a little sad when you're not in the company of others.A little moody, you tend to be controlled by your emotions. But a bit hug always comforts you!
How Do You Communicate?

Eeee... no lah, where got?

You're Totally Sarcastic
You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.
How Sarcastic Are You?

:p baby bunnies are cute.... really.... and they probably taste great, too...

Your Aura is Violet
Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!
The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say
Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony
Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach
What Color Is Your Aura?

hmmm..... ya?

Your Birth Month is May
Unique and creative, you seek your own path in life.You love change and are able to adapt to any situation.
Your soul reflects: Sweetness, joy, and a complete life.
Your gemstone: Emerald
Your flower: Lily of the Valley
Your colors: Yellow, red, and green
What Does Your Birth Month Mean?


You Are 5: The Investigator
You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does.
Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.
What Number Are You?

hmmm..... I'm hearing the theme song of Pinky and the Brain... :p

You Are 90% Boyish and 10% Girlish
You have a tough exterior - and usually a tough interior to match it.You're no nonsense, logical, and very assertive.Sometimes you can't understand women at all, even if you're a woman yourself.You see things rationally, and don't like to let your emotions get the best of you.
How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

*gulp* I blame my boy cousins!! The lot of 'em!! Ai siiii.......

Your Hair Should Be Pink
Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

PINK!! CHI SIN.... eeewwwww........

Ok, I stop. Sleepy :p



FINALLY!! Internet connection to my room :p Now I can do my outstanding reports and I can blog more often. For starters, here was something I was thinking about while walking back to my apartments and seeing how clear the sky was. :p Forgive me if I remembered this wrongly. It was a poem I vaguely remembered from Form 1. I can't even remember the title.

What is this life, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to see, as woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait, till her mouth can,
Enrich the smile her eyes began.

What is this life, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

NOW, to christen the new connection, I went on blogthings for some nonsense :D

No. 1: Am I hot? Or AM I HOT?! :p

You Are Super Spicy
You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy.You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire!
Are You Hot?

Yeaaahhhhhh..... RITE lah... make me happy nia....

No. 2: Dating Purity Test ;p

Your Dating Purity Score: 62%
You are an under-experienced dater.This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it.It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!
Dating Purity Test

:p See that? I must date more!! ;)

No. 3: Bonjour!

Your French Name is:
Pauline St. Germain

No. 4: Personality Test

Your Personality Is
Rational (NT)

You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas.You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy!
Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people.In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally.
You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought.Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals.
In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent.
At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia.
With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well.
As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly.
On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.
The Three Question Personality Test

No leh!! I like shopping :p

Okay, one blog down. Too many on one page might drive my poor friends crazy...