inane meanderings of the roving mind... adapting to the vicissitudes of life: I'm tired of this...

Faith

"It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; he is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; he is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is he who provokes you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is he who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is he who reads in your hearts your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle. It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be grounded down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society..."

-Pope John Paul II-

NOTE

This blog is an online journal, not so much a photo-blog. I might put up pics of things and places, but not me.

I blog, not so much for attention, not so much for fame, but mostly for Catharsis.

I need a place to write and think. I need a place where I could write to reach out. This is it.

Because sometimes it's easier to talk to semi-strangers, than to the people who knows you. Because sometimes it's less painful to lash out to the world in general than to keep things bottled up inside.

Sensitivity may be over-rated, but sensitivity is human.

If you're a stranger who stumbles unto this, I'm warning you that part of catharsis may be offensive. This blog is personal, it's not written to cater to the tastes of it's readers. I make no apologies for what I think. It's the personal opinion and experiences of one particular authoress.

If you don't like what is written, you're welcome to walk away, no apologies required either.

Let's both be civil to one another.

Unabashedly Me

I love many things about life. In no particular order:

Faith, religion, belief. Family. Close friends. Acquaintances.

The smile of a child. Affinity with animals.

A good conversation. Languages.

A good swim, a good run. A 3-hour dancing session. The satisfaction of having done something right.

Dark chocolate. Wildflowers. White lilies. Dark red and champagne roses. Good alcohol. Scents. Perfumes. Aromatherapy.

Nice hair. Soft, moisturised skin. A caress. A touch. 5 o'clock shadow on a man.

Pretty underthings. The feel of French lace against silk, silk against French lace.

The haunting poignancy of classical music. The angst and fervour of rock. The sexy innuendo of jazz. The sweaty pulsations of r'n'b and hip hop.

Sunrise at 21 000 feet. Sunset, and moonlit walks on the beach. The feel of sand beneath my feet. Gosh, I had almost forgotten how that feels....Dancing in the rain.

Watching the silver sleet of rain lashing against the window pane, having come out from a hot bath, a steaming cup of hot chocolate (with marshmallows!!) in hand.

The kiss of sun against skin. Long, sultry evenings in shade, iced drink in hand, in the skimpiest outfit social norms would allow :p

The scent of the earth after rain. Dark, stormy nights.
Reading a good book through the night, soft music in the background. Thoughts swirling in my mind.

The boisterous company of family and friends. The painful, but precious solitude of loneliness.

Euphoria. Suffering.

Weddings. Funerals.

Laughter. Tears.

The frail vulnerability of the human heart. The strong flexibility of the human spirit.

Life's many contradictions. The exquisite torture of being human.

In my years on earth, I've learnt the important lesson that: We'll never appreciate the sweet, until we've understood the bitter.

I LIVE. I LOVE. I LUST. I AM WOMAN. I MAKE NO APOLOGIES. AND I REFUSE TO BE ASHAMED.

Nemesis' Paradoxical Quote for the Moment

Ignorance may be Bliss, but Knowledge itself is Power. Therefore, take your pick: Bliss, or Power?

How is it that:
Familiarity breeds contempt, yet
Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

How about:
Opposites attract, but
Like must marry like, or there will be no happiness?

Nemesis' Answer to 'sola scriptura':

1. “So also our beloved brother Paul wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, speaking of this as he does in all his letters. There are some things in them hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other scriptures.” (2 Pt 2:15-16)

2. “So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by our letter.” (2 Ths 2:15)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

I'm tired of this...

I'm tired of this...

I'm tired of this...
Delicate balance upon which I hang
I'm tired of this...
Unwanted memories going through my brain

I'm tired of this...
Remembered feelings that comes unbidden
I'm tired of this...
Painful secrets, even from myself, I'd kept hidden

I'm tired of this...
Powerful emotions going through my heart
I'm tired of this...
Wishing sometimes I'd be a little more smart

I'm tired of this...
Tossing and turning during sleepless nights
I'm tired of this...
Internal dialogues turning into fights

I'm tired of this...
Each time I've tossed you off of my mind
I'm tired of this...
Something turns up to remind me of the ties that bind

I'm tired of this...
Each road I take seems to lead to you
I'm tired of this...
Each thought of you seems stuck like glue

I'm tired of this...
Knowing that no matter how hard I try
I'm tired of this...
Nothing could stop the tears that I'll cry

I'm tired of this...
Undisguised passions coming to the fore
I'm tired of this...
Unstoppable needs hitting to the core

I'm tired of this...
Praying to God I had more control
I'm tired of this...
Knowing full well this would take it's toll

I'm tired of this...
Wishing somehow there'd be an end to this
I'm tired of this...
Knowing sometimes ignorance is bliss

I'm tired of this...
Repeating this shit as though it were a mantra
I'm tired of this...
Knowing bloody well it's a personal Golgotha

4 comments:

Bren said...: poor dida di... :( it's ok lar...remember, married at 29 wif 3 baby boys!! u'll b looking back n wishing u wer stil single! hehehe..; 19 August, 2006 11:12
nemesis-on-fire said...: :p oh lawd! dun remind me of that weird fortune teller :p; 20 August, 2006 19:08
Anonymous said...: dude, no worries about an emo post. we all have our days and our ways of venting! I window shop! haha! ;) hope u feel betta!; 21 August, 2006 19:59
nemesis-on-fire said...: haha! nothing like retail therapy...; 22 August, 2006 14:42

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Saturday, August 19, 2006

I'm tired of this...

4 comments: