Saturday, October 31, 2009

Whatever....

I haven't been into the kitchen for about 4 months....

And I haven't stepped into it for a good 2 weeks, except to get water, which is right at the kitchen's edge.

Because previously there was a fight about me not cleaning up, me not caring about the house, me being selfish, me not taking out the trash, me not wanting to live in harmony....

Needless to say, I was Very Pissed Off. When I first moved in here, I cleaned not just my room, but the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room. I spent a good few days cleaning the place and making it habitable.

All everyone had to do was just to maintain it.

Of course, at the time, I was in between work, and I was free to do all that.

And naturally, once I started working, I didn't have as much time to clean up all the time.

It is EVERYONE's house, not just mine. And even if I'm the only girl in the house, everyone had a role to play.

Of course, I'm not perfect. No one is... I sometimes leave things in the sink overnight because: a) I forgot about it and b) I don't like to scrub the pans, it ruins them.

But I'll wash up the next morning, I've never left it there more than a night. And I DEFINITELY do not expect any one of them to wash up after me.

But what was said to me was really too much. They made it sound as if I'm a freeloader, and I've never once played my part in the household. That was what made me really really mad.

Twice before, the trash turned into a breeding ground for maggots. And twice it was me who ended up cloroxing the damn kitchen down and cleaning up.

After the quarrel, there was a time I came back from Penang and the entire house was stinking of trash, it was like a dumping ground. So I told one of the main tenants about it, and I said: You know I don't use the kitchen anymore, just as I know you don't either. I'd take it out this once, because if we left it there till tomorrow, it'd start growing maggots.

So I took it out. Even if not a single one of it is my damn trash, and I had actually tried, to avoid misunderstanding and more arguments, to prepare a duty roster for everyone. Needless to say, the roster didn't work either.

Today, after not stepping into the kitchen area for 4 months, after not using a single thing in the place other than the kettle and the sink for water, I walked into the kitchen in broad daylight to do my laundry.

The trash was full to the brim. The trash was stinking..... and they were maggots on the floor. All over the kitchen.

I was accused of not throwing my trash. I was accused of messing up the kitchen. I was accused of not cleaning up. I was accused of not doing my part. I was told to Fuck Off....

They laugh behind my back about my habits. For them, I'm just a useful pest that helps them pay the rent, and it's best that I don't use anything but pay for it anyway.

Now that I haven't contributed to a single trash in that kitchen. I have not even touched a single utensil, including the fridge. I have not made any mess to even clean up in the first place. I have no part to play at all with regards to the kitchen. I have, essentially Fucked Off the kitchen.

I wonder whose trash is that that caused the maggots to be crawling all over the kitchen?

I wonder how long the maggots have been there to start with?

And I wonder who is to be held accountable for it this time?

Me, again?

I'm not going to clean up after them this time around. Honestly, I don't care.

Am I being C.A.L.C.U.L.A.T.I.V.E.? Really? If I am, then I don't know what they are being.

I may be a girl, but I'm not a doormat. And if they are truly men, they should know better than to treat me like one.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Time for Miracles...

Did I mention I think Adam Lambert should've won American Idol?

Well, this is why... from the soundtrack of 2012.

Perhaps it's time for miracles now:

It’s late at night and I can’t sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can’t be thinking of your smile
Every kiss you can’t forget
This aching heart ain’t broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn’t dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cause I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cause I ain’t giving up on love
No I ain’t giving up on us

I just want to be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes
The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain’t broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn’t dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cause I ain’t giving up on love
No I ain’t giving up on us
Baby can you feel it(feel it)
You know I can hear it(hear it)
So can you feel it feel it….
You know it’s time….
Baby you know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it’s time for miracles
Cuz I ain’t giving up on love
You know I ain’t giving up on us
You know I ain’t giving up on
Oh I ain’t giving up on us

~Time for Miracles, Performed by: Adam Lambert, Written by: Alain Johannes and Natasha Shneider~

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Keepers

You may be the keeper of shadows and secrets.... but I'm the keeper of light and truth.

It doesn't matter if I embarrass myself, because for me, it's better embarrassing myself once than for the rest of my life. Which is why I'd go to great lengths to find out if I'm living a lie.

Going off to see nature now. Really need the break. Fed up with all the hypocrisy and the shadows around me here in the city.

At least, nature never lies.