i know not where to start, and i know not where i'd end

how to start when i don't even know for sure what happened?

i guess it's a culmination of all the little things. little things become big things. big things grow into monsters and lurk under beds and in closets. and one fine day, u put your smelly shoes under the bed and the monsters storm out.

little things...

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by

Every now and then I fall apart

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do... a total eclipse of the heart

little things... i have my flaws, i know. but Lord knows i've tried. and u know that too. so how could you think i think any less of you?

I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through
I've never been perfect, but neither have you

i'm just a girl with her first serious love after all.

I can't be who you are

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are

There's no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again

Send a heartbeat to
The void that cries through you
Relive the pictures that have come to pass
For now we stand alone
The world is lost and blown
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate
With no more to hate

Delivered from the blast
The last of a line of lasts
The pale princess of a palace cracked
And now the kingdom comes
Crashing down undone
And I am a master of a nothing place
Of recoil and grace

Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in its pain

sigh. would you believe me if i told you each night i get on my knees and pray? for what was, what is, what might have been and what might be?

when did we come to this? watching each other from the corners of our eyes? walking on eggshells around each other? when did we start censoring ourselves?

here i am 2 months later, singing the same tune, the same song:

I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday

I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say

every time i see you falling.... everytime