Friday, March 08, 2013

Did I hit a new low?

Sitting in the toilet, crying, and then just zoning out and staring at that wooden separator - I wondered if I hit a new low. The lights have just turned off, cos it's a sensor, and this building is so cheapskate that they did not install enough sensors to detect movement in the cubicles at the sides.

It's been a string of bad luck lately. And I've been so frustrated at how things have been going. It's as if they're all out of my control. I try so hard to just take a chill pill and tell myself things will get better, and when things seem to be looking up a little, something seems to happen again. It's like taking 1 step forward, but 2 steps back.

I don't know what to do anymore, seriously. And sitting here, nursing a splitting headache, I've been wondering if I was starting to get depressive. After all, there's all this rage inside of me. It's like a monster, wanting, no, waiting to escape. I feel it growing, slowly, fed by my daily frustrations and helplessness. I'm afraid of the day it will burst out of my control, and it may be too late.

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