Saturday, March 25, 2006

rant rant rant

I started Livejournal with Roaccutane, and I'll start Blogspot with the same :) Drink a toast... I am officially off Ro-A!! Whoopee!! Here's to nights of hot wild sex :p If you wonder why that is, well, Ro-A is teratogenic, therefore, dermatologists might make you sign a letter saying you'd either: 1. abstain from sex, or 2. take contraceptive measures if the lure of the horizontal hookie-pookie is too strong for you :D

Now all I gotta do is get me a horizontal dancing partner... hmm... :)

To more substantial matters:

A while back, a good friend of mine asked me this: '--, am I right in saying that everyone has an ulterior motive, even in forming friendships?'

Ahh... knowing him, there's probably a serious underlying issue that prompted that question, it was absolutely loaded. I couldn't answer him then beyond a 'Yes, u're right' due to time constraint, but I know he'd read this, and he'd have my explanation, albeit being really late :)

Yeap, being the jaded, cynical 'shrew' that I am, I agree with that. I don't think people have much of a choice, really. People were, to a certain extent, partially trained to be relatively selfish. I think it's more a survival instinct than anything else. Survival of the fittest. Survival of the most cut-throat. A prime example would be reality TV. The Apprentice. Survivor. Even one of those ridiculous reality dating shows, e.g. The Bachelor (GAG!! If that doesn't degrade women, I don't know what does... it shames me as a member of the female species/ sub-species/ whatever to watch a group of sexy, beautiful, intelligent women fight tooth and nail to (progressively, or not) date/ kiss/ screw a guy who is not really that good-looking, even sometimes downright mediocre, just because he speaks basic American English and looks fairly alright in a 3-piece. PUH-LEEZE... I've got friends who look 100X better than that. Except that they might asphyxiate in a suit (they live/ breathe t-shirts and boardies (outside of work)... damn... oh okay, so it's hot here. Fine... :p) And they're Asian, so they might be a tad bit short. Hehehe... sigh... no one said Americans were very bright. Sometimes I viciously wish the Bachelor turns out gay. Oops!! :D but I'm rambling... I digress) I think there is rarely anything altruistic in this world anymore. Everyone wants something from everyone else. Everything now comes with terms and conditions. I'd be friends with you... IF...... I'd date you... IF...... I'd marry you... IF...... I'd have your children..... IF...... I'd hire you... IF...... I'd take you there.... IF...... There always has to be a bargain. And a bargaining chip. Look around, watch and observe human interaction, and it would be quite noticeable. People come together because there is something one person wants from another. Whether it's mutually beneficial or not, is entirely up to both parties. We click, we hang out with people with shared opinions, shared beliefs, shared interests. Is there anything purely altruistic about that? Not really. Friends make us feel good about ourselves. Shared topics/ interests make us happy. If someone makes you feel negative, would you still be around him/ her? I doubt that. Are you being selfish for wanting to be around someone who makes you happy? To a certain extent, yes. But beyond that, no. Because I personally believe that everyone has a right to be happy. Why play a real life game of Gloom, when you can have a fairy-tale?

Then there's falling for someone. I like you, yes.... BUT..... society doesn't deem you cool enough..... I like you, yes.... BUT..... society doesn't deem you smart enough..... I like you, yes... BUT... society doesn't deem you good-looking enough..... I like you, yes.... BUT.... society doesn't deem you thin/ buff enough.... Sigh... I wonder when enough is enough. Because... society's standards are fickle. Once upon a time, a Form 3 qualification deemed you smart enough. But now, society wants a doctorate. Once upon a time, Marilyn Monroe was good-looking enough. Now, she'd be a fat, shameless bitch. Once upon a time, Twiggy was good-looking enough. Now she'd be a flat-chested bimbo. Now I reckon I'd need breast augmentation, Botox, nose job, liposuction, etc. etc. to be beautiful enough. Well, fuck society. The devil fly with public opinion. My body's damn fine as it is, thank you very fucking much. Maybe I need exercise, yeah I know I do, but that's so my cholesterol level doesn't go off the roof, considering I love my food. But get a scalpel and bacterial toxin in my body? You fuckers have got another think coming. Take me as I am, or not at all. Oh yeah, you dick over there. You want me to go for a boobjob? Howzabout you get a dickjob and Botox injections in your penis so it'd always be in a state of semi-erection before you talk to me? :) Hmm? Me? Bitchy? NNNOOOOO...... you mean you don't know what a shrew means? Oh yeah, I forgot you've got a pea-brain. Must be all that blood flow to your OTHER brain. Mea culpa, mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

Everyone always wants something from somebody. Your other half has to make you proud. Your significant other has to make you look good. Your darling has to induce respect from you. Maybe. Or maybe we should start looking at ourselves. I have to make my baby proud of me. I should make my sweetheart look fantastic. I will respect my darling, he deserves it for making me happy. Who cares what society thinks? Is society spending the rest of it's fickle life with him, or am I? When does all that bullcrap stop? If I'm marrying him, who cares if he isn't cool enough, or smart enough, or handsome enough? He makes me happy. Isn't that the most important thing? Yes, love isn't enough. There has to be respect, honesty, commitment. But if you love someone, doesn't all that fall in one big category? Didn't Robert Heinlein say that 'Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.'?

It's a sad, sad world in which we live in, if we mark everything and everyone by how much they're worth to us. To paraphrase John Fitzgerald Kennedy: Ask not what someone can do for you, ask what you can do for someone. Better yet: Do not do unto others, what you do not want others to do unto you. So don't judge me, and I wouldn't judge you.

But these are just my opinion, what do I know? If you don't like what you're reading, is anyone handcuffing your hands to your keyboard, or holding your face to your monitor?
Am at: Oasis
Listening to: The live jazz band playing 'Love Letters in the Sand' Sigh :p Sap....

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

MAybe I hadnt told u this yet, but it's smth i figured out all by myself a few years back: Friends are for mutual exploitation. That's d way it is, but it's ok. :)
Btw,if it doesnt interfere with ur artistic self expression, wud u mind increasing ur font size? it's really small n hard to read.....

nemesis-on-fire said...

but i like small fonts...... they're cute ;) good things come in little packages, no?? is it THAT small?

Anonymous said...

as always, yes there is a reason to me asking that question. it is a truth that I have known for a long time and I've just recently 'enlightened' a friend to it who was totally distraught by the idea. (yes I am corrupting innocents again). let's just say the person took to the revelation very badly so in a moment of weakness I was wondering if it was the right thing to do and I was seeking confirmation that I'm not the only cynical mind left on this planet.

heh, altruism..... in its truest essence, anarchism is about finding true altruism without the corruption or manipulation by a state or government.

a true anarchistic state, like an utopian society is a mythological idea which is unattainable in anything but paper. then again, an anarchistic state is the total opposite of a totalitarian utopian society isn't it.

even I cannot call myself a true anarchist for I follow the laws of society which benefits me and gets me out of trouble. in my purest form I am an anarchist to the state because I do not acknowledge whatever law/rule/rukun they force onto me, I chose to do what is right by my own morality and by my own being, not because it is imposed by the state.

would it be treason then to not acknowledge the laws of your own state? does following your own code of justice/decency/morality brand one a traitor because it does not fall into line with that of the state? does it make one a social outcast because society's view on these things are different from your own?

are the people that call me evil right because I have a different idea about certain things that they do not accept? is it their right to cast me out, call me a devil, call me evil because I question the authority of society, because I question 'truths' that are unquestionable? am I truly so despicable? am I a monster just because I can think like a 'monster'?

is it so wrong to believe that we make our own destinies, our own way to enlightenment, our own way to ascension even. is it wrong for me to question the existence of god? is it wrong for me to want to know? to value knowledge over everything else, to value wisdom then to blindly follow like a good cultist does. if god truly exists, does he really want blind followers who do not understand his message but instead just follows whatever he says like lemmings or does he value those who question him, challenge him, engage him, try to understand him. is it not the nature of human beings to evolve? to inquire, to want to know? "we can never know god because he is eternally vast so we shouldn't even bother because he is beyond our understanding" that is just simply a lousy excuse. why musn't we try? if he is beyond my understanding then my children and their children shall continue own from where I left of. maybe god is trying to hide something from us.....

gah sorry loooooooong rant in the middle of the night.

I am getting so sick of ppl telling me that we shouldn't even try understanding some things in the world because we are small and it is beyond us. that is defeatism. i may be a misanthrope but i believe in the potential of human beings to be more than just this.

it's time for a revolution.

Anonymous said...

(8) u say u wan a revolutionnnn..weelll,u know..we'r all out to save the world (8) :P

Anonymous said...

P.S. yeah really small...mayb u dun preview or visit ur own blog...but really really small...a sea of words...

nemesis-on-fire said...

anon: i do... but font 12 is way too large for my liking lehhh....

berds: :) u always have too much things to say :) that's exactly why i love u... hehheh... a girl always needs someone a little different to put things in perspective, u know? and u always do that for me, even though i already KNOW myself to be damn weird. and a cynic. sometimes i wish i were a lemming, things would be so much easier, no? but can i change a lifelong of education? can i erase my memory just to have 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind'? i can't, and neither can u.

don't worry, the world needs their rebels, although no one would want to be one, and everyone seems to dictate otherwise.

Anonymous said...

nah dida, I don't want to be a lemming, I want to change the world, not myself.

I'm an idealist at heart and I need to change our society.