Piercings, Orgasms and More Nonsensical Ramblings from an Extremely Bored Mind....
Piercings, Orgasms and More Nonsensical Ramblings from an Extremely Bored Mind...
Wednesday, 6 December 2006. 1739 hours
Yeah, you read that right. This is gonna be a blog on orgasms, both male and female :P People with delicate tastes please turn your eyes away now.
Okay. I dunno much about orgasms other than it's supposed to be bloody damn explosive earth-shattering mind-altering paradigm-shifting good. Better than fags and drugs, apparently.
Shit, I hope my parents, or brother doesn't read this. And I sure hope I don't have kepochi friends who would rat on me :P Blah, live on the edge for awhile, shan't I?
Now a guy friend of mine once said that he read somewhere that the female orgasm is a myth :) Women in the know, please let me know if that's true. I'd be quite miffed if I can never achieve 'le petit morte'. How can? No fair.... I want that grasping, moaning, groaning, sighing, gasping, screaming, eye-rolling, clutching, satisfying moment of complete and utter euphoria too! Ok, saying I'd be miffed is a gross understatement. But you catch my drift. I'd like to know where he got his literature from, so female sexologists around the world can shoot the fella :D
So, shall I run a poll? IS the female orgasm a myth?
Now why bring up the topic since said dude made the remark quite a while back? 'Cos:
a) I forgot about it. Oopsie daisie... My bad :)
b) A conversation I had last night.
Regarding b), there's more to it. Here it is:
Venue: Some fancy-schmancy Starbucks in some fancy-schmancy uptown place. (I didn't choose the place, k? Me brokums, not like Jar-O the rich ass :P) Ye-lah... no mentioning which, I dunwanna get stalked and get some sleazy dude saying: Let me show you a female orgasm, bay-beh :P
Time: 2230-ish hours, Tuesday, December 5th, Year 2006
Characters: Jar-O and the Double A's and Me (2 guys, a girl, and a confused identity (guess who?) :P)
We were talking about body piercings in interesting places. Well, actually, it started with talking about a scary girl we all once knew. She claims to give the best blowjobs in the world :P Though, ermm... one of the guys who once upon a time, not so long ago, used to do her says he'd tell her she was good to not hear her running commentaries in the midst of all that 'passion'. Guess he doesn't quite know the concept of 'white noise' :D
A the boyfriend started teasing A the girlfriend about probably not knowing what a blowjob is, which led to Jar-O saying his buddy should teach her. And Jar-O mentioning the different ways to enhance the pleasure of a blowjob. Ice, mint, hot tea, etc. etc. (oh come on, can't give 'em all out here on a public blog), and, yeah, piercings. See, I have a few very publicly kinky girl friends. A few would qualify as sarong party girls (Too bad they aren't around anymore. Could teach me a trick or two :P) One (not a sarong party girl, this one. At least, I don't think so) was, well, interesting. Super sexy and unafraid to show it. Kinky, and the world knows it. Tattoos down the inguinal area on both sides. Very sexy. Piercings. She has a tongue stud and she tells me the men she sleeps with thanks her for it. Mmmhmmmm... Yup. Keeps a box-ful of different types of her fave condoms by her bedside. And those colourful nice-smelling thingies for bath and play, too. Damn bedroom looks a wee bit like a boudoir. And I forgot, different kinds of lube. KY, Durex Play, Durex Hot, Durex Tingle, whatever. Oh, for condoms, she swears by Durex :P Actually, a few of those girls swear by Durex. Less 'accidents' apparently, and it's supposed to feel almost... 'natural'? :P So I mentioned what KinkyGirl told me, about tongue studs being very good for blowjobs. Which the boys agree with. But, they say having a tongue stud and not knowing how to give a proper blowjob would result in quite nasty accidents. :D Well, I could infer that. The penile glans is amazingly sensitive. Don't take a rocket scientist to know.
Tongue studs led to a conversation on other piercings. In uhmm... 'interesting' places. The Prince Albert, for instance. Somebody tell me how that's being done?
I remember being in the church toilet during sunset mass when I was 18, and meeting again, a girl I used to know in primary school. She told me she had a boyfriend (me: ok) who has a piercing at his genitals (the Prince Albert, I found out years later) (me: (stunned look on face)) and she had one at her clitoris as well.... (me: ok, right, I think my parents would be looking for me now.. (and makes a mad dash out of there)).
Apparently, these studs are pleasure enhancers for sexual encounters. Increases friction and what not. Mind-blowing orgasms. Yay, ok... But ermm... OUCH?? Wouldn't cockrings do? So cockrings can slip out. Well, errmmm... take the dick out when it's still hard, and don't leave it in there till it goes soft and flaccid? Besides, if a dick can fit in there, then surely one can take the cockring out? I dunno. But piercings just seem painful :P
Next: Uhh... I know these rings would have space for errrr... engorged moments, but hmm... those rings probably have sizes. How would the piercer know which size should be used? Unless the dude himself gives an estimate of how big his erection gets? Logically thinking, I doubt he'd pierce it when he's erect. Ouchieee.... Same goes for a clit ring, no?
So many questions :P Who can give me answers?
On a less provocative/ mind-boggling subject: Who wants to play 'Gotcha' on Ells the Smells? A the girlfriend and I would bet it'd be jolly fun :P And we'd bet he'd fall for it, too. HAHA....
Ohh... And I wanna shoot my new housemates. It's one thing to be using my things (I don't mind) so long as they clean it up. And it'd be nice if they asked. But it's another to go through my foodstuff and toiletries and just take and use whatever, you know? WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRR............. Talk about insensitivity, Davi. Gah... Some people.
All that talk on sex. Maybe I should make my New Year's Resolution now :P
1) Leave the country and this State of the Nation before I go nuts, get shot, get imprisoned, get ISA-ed, or all of them at once.
2) Get laid :P Ok, this one is probably not gonna happen. NATO, you know? (No Action, Talk Only). Sighs... Besides, what's the point if I'm not gonna experience 'le petit morte'? Even a tampon the size of my little finger with the length of approx 1 1/2' hurt. Just ask Pantai Hillpark Phase *** Block * inhabitants :P Or my roommate then. She still laughs about my howling. BIATCH... And to think she was the one who told me to try it in the first place. *sniffs* And to think I was gullible enough to listen to her. ARGH!! Stupid me... Stupid... :P
I need new lingerie. a) They're out of shape/ They've got holes in 'em b) They don't fit right no more... :( But I'm broke. Going lingerie-shopping with friends who are buying them when you need your own is like being teased. So near, yet so far... Now you see it, now you don't... How? Oh man... I hate the feeling of being a poor bum. RICH BUM is good. Poor bum sucks.
Being teased. Like the ONE mark I need to pass exams. You know, sometimes I feel like Life is a Goddess/ Beautiful Woman (say, who looks like Jessica Alba) in a see-through gossamer gown with nothing underneath doing a naughty dance and being a cock-tease. DAMMIT.... And I'm like the man she's doing the dance for, and I can't bloody cum. At the moment of ejaculation, something clamps at the base, and you get backflow. Like that. Ouch... TORTURE. You get the picture? YUP... OH MANNNN.....
This has been a shitty year. And Lady Luck hasn't been quite a lady, blowing on other guys' dices....
Should I just stop whatever I'm doing and be: a) a personal shopper, or b) a trashy romance novelist? You know. Write satisfying trash like: As his pulsating, engorged manhood entered her warm, soft, moistness oh-so-slowly, pushing into her tightest depths in a pulsing rhythm, paced as she liked it, nice and deep.... (continue with your personal vivid fantasy here) :D Oh my... I'm howling with uncontrollabnle laughter alone in my room. My housemates must think I'm crazy :D Yes, I read text porn. It's mindless entertainment when I'm tired. You don't want to be debating political thrillers in your head after work, or after textbooks like Concise Pathology :) So I should be able to write it as well, no? Give Judith Krantz, Jackie Collins, Jude Deveraux a run for their money :D
Enough nonsense for one night. Good night!!
Wednesday, 6 December 2006. 1739 hours
Yeah, you read that right. This is gonna be a blog on orgasms, both male and female :P People with delicate tastes please turn your eyes away now.
Okay. I dunno much about orgasms other than it's supposed to be bloody damn explosive earth-shattering mind-altering paradigm-shifting good. Better than fags and drugs, apparently.
Shit, I hope my parents, or brother doesn't read this. And I sure hope I don't have kepochi friends who would rat on me :P Blah, live on the edge for awhile, shan't I?
Now a guy friend of mine once said that he read somewhere that the female orgasm is a myth :) Women in the know, please let me know if that's true. I'd be quite miffed if I can never achieve 'le petit morte'. How can? No fair.... I want that grasping, moaning, groaning, sighing, gasping, screaming, eye-rolling, clutching, satisfying moment of complete and utter euphoria too! Ok, saying I'd be miffed is a gross understatement. But you catch my drift. I'd like to know where he got his literature from, so female sexologists around the world can shoot the fella :D
So, shall I run a poll? IS the female orgasm a myth?
Now why bring up the topic since said dude made the remark quite a while back? 'Cos:
a) I forgot about it. Oopsie daisie... My bad :)
b) A conversation I had last night.
Regarding b), there's more to it. Here it is:
Venue: Some fancy-schmancy Starbucks in some fancy-schmancy uptown place. (I didn't choose the place, k? Me brokums, not like Jar-O the rich ass :P) Ye-lah... no mentioning which, I dunwanna get stalked and get some sleazy dude saying: Let me show you a female orgasm, bay-beh :P
Time: 2230-ish hours, Tuesday, December 5th, Year 2006
Characters: Jar-O and the Double A's and Me (2 guys, a girl, and a confused identity (guess who?) :P)
We were talking about body piercings in interesting places. Well, actually, it started with talking about a scary girl we all once knew. She claims to give the best blowjobs in the world :P Though, ermm... one of the guys who once upon a time, not so long ago, used to do her says he'd tell her she was good to not hear her running commentaries in the midst of all that 'passion'. Guess he doesn't quite know the concept of 'white noise' :D
A the boyfriend started teasing A the girlfriend about probably not knowing what a blowjob is, which led to Jar-O saying his buddy should teach her. And Jar-O mentioning the different ways to enhance the pleasure of a blowjob. Ice, mint, hot tea, etc. etc. (oh come on, can't give 'em all out here on a public blog), and, yeah, piercings. See, I have a few very publicly kinky girl friends. A few would qualify as sarong party girls (Too bad they aren't around anymore. Could teach me a trick or two :P) One (not a sarong party girl, this one. At least, I don't think so) was, well, interesting. Super sexy and unafraid to show it. Kinky, and the world knows it. Tattoos down the inguinal area on both sides. Very sexy. Piercings. She has a tongue stud and she tells me the men she sleeps with thanks her for it. Mmmhmmmm... Yup. Keeps a box-ful of different types of her fave condoms by her bedside. And those colourful nice-smelling thingies for bath and play, too. Damn bedroom looks a wee bit like a boudoir. And I forgot, different kinds of lube. KY, Durex Play, Durex Hot, Durex Tingle, whatever. Oh, for condoms, she swears by Durex :P Actually, a few of those girls swear by Durex. Less 'accidents' apparently, and it's supposed to feel almost... 'natural'? :P So I mentioned what KinkyGirl told me, about tongue studs being very good for blowjobs. Which the boys agree with. But, they say having a tongue stud and not knowing how to give a proper blowjob would result in quite nasty accidents. :D Well, I could infer that. The penile glans is amazingly sensitive. Don't take a rocket scientist to know.
Tongue studs led to a conversation on other piercings. In uhmm... 'interesting' places. The Prince Albert, for instance. Somebody tell me how that's being done?
I remember being in the church toilet during sunset mass when I was 18, and meeting again, a girl I used to know in primary school. She told me she had a boyfriend (me: ok) who has a piercing at his genitals (the Prince Albert, I found out years later) (me: (stunned look on face)) and she had one at her clitoris as well.... (me: ok, right, I think my parents would be looking for me now.. (and makes a mad dash out of there)).
Apparently, these studs are pleasure enhancers for sexual encounters. Increases friction and what not. Mind-blowing orgasms. Yay, ok... But ermm... OUCH?? Wouldn't cockrings do? So cockrings can slip out. Well, errmmm... take the dick out when it's still hard, and don't leave it in there till it goes soft and flaccid? Besides, if a dick can fit in there, then surely one can take the cockring out? I dunno. But piercings just seem painful :P
Next: Uhh... I know these rings would have space for errrr... engorged moments, but hmm... those rings probably have sizes. How would the piercer know which size should be used? Unless the dude himself gives an estimate of how big his erection gets? Logically thinking, I doubt he'd pierce it when he's erect. Ouchieee.... Same goes for a clit ring, no?
So many questions :P Who can give me answers?
On a less provocative/ mind-boggling subject: Who wants to play 'Gotcha' on Ells the Smells? A the girlfriend and I would bet it'd be jolly fun :P And we'd bet he'd fall for it, too. HAHA....
Ohh... And I wanna shoot my new housemates. It's one thing to be using my things (I don't mind) so long as they clean it up. And it'd be nice if they asked. But it's another to go through my foodstuff and toiletries and just take and use whatever, you know? WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRR............. Talk about insensitivity, Davi. Gah... Some people.
All that talk on sex. Maybe I should make my New Year's Resolution now :P
1) Leave the country and this State of the Nation before I go nuts, get shot, get imprisoned, get ISA-ed, or all of them at once.
2) Get laid :P Ok, this one is probably not gonna happen. NATO, you know? (No Action, Talk Only). Sighs... Besides, what's the point if I'm not gonna experience 'le petit morte'? Even a tampon the size of my little finger with the length of approx 1 1/2' hurt. Just ask Pantai Hillpark Phase *** Block * inhabitants :P Or my roommate then. She still laughs about my howling. BIATCH... And to think she was the one who told me to try it in the first place. *sniffs* And to think I was gullible enough to listen to her. ARGH!! Stupid me... Stupid... :P
I need new lingerie. a) They're out of shape/ They've got holes in 'em b) They don't fit right no more... :( But I'm broke. Going lingerie-shopping with friends who are buying them when you need your own is like being teased. So near, yet so far... Now you see it, now you don't... How? Oh man... I hate the feeling of being a poor bum. RICH BUM is good. Poor bum sucks.
Being teased. Like the ONE mark I need to pass exams. You know, sometimes I feel like Life is a Goddess/ Beautiful Woman (say, who looks like Jessica Alba) in a see-through gossamer gown with nothing underneath doing a naughty dance and being a cock-tease. DAMMIT.... And I'm like the man she's doing the dance for, and I can't bloody cum. At the moment of ejaculation, something clamps at the base, and you get backflow. Like that. Ouch... TORTURE. You get the picture? YUP... OH MANNNN.....
This has been a shitty year. And Lady Luck hasn't been quite a lady, blowing on other guys' dices....
Should I just stop whatever I'm doing and be: a) a personal shopper, or b) a trashy romance novelist? You know. Write satisfying trash like: As his pulsating, engorged manhood entered her warm, soft, moistness oh-so-slowly, pushing into her tightest depths in a pulsing rhythm, paced as she liked it, nice and deep.... (continue with your personal vivid fantasy here) :D Oh my... I'm howling with uncontrollabnle laughter alone in my room. My housemates must think I'm crazy :D Yes, I read text porn. It's mindless entertainment when I'm tired. You don't want to be debating political thrillers in your head after work, or after textbooks like Concise Pathology :) So I should be able to write it as well, no? Give Judith Krantz, Jackie Collins, Jude Deveraux a run for their money :D
Enough nonsense for one night. Good night!!
3 comments:
baybeh!
Somehow this entry reminds me of 11-Minutes by Paulo Coelho.
i thk u will like the book.
:P
it ain't a myth.
it only reached myth status due to the fact that quite a large number of women do not reach orgasm because: i) they have shite partners who only think of personal gratification, ii) they're not relaxed enough during intercourse, iii) they think it's a myth so have no expectations of ever being satisfied to that point, iv) lack practise in achieving it on their lonesome and so do not recognise it when it does happen and v) they have shite partners.
ok, all the reasons I gave above are from the 70s except i) and v) so no, female orgasms are not a myth.
whoever says it is is either male or misinformed.
blueroses: i like paulo coelho anyways :) when are u gonna lend me 11-minutes? :P heheh... if u liked this blog n paulo coelho, maybe u'd like helen walsh's brass. that was interesting too.
anon: :D phewwww... thank you... :) well, maybe he's both. n i don't really blame him. so much shit available online nowadays, u dunno what kinds of information would reach whose hands. the good news is, there are smart women around to rectify the problem n say: DUDE, it's achievable. i've flown solo before, so why don't i pilot myself now n u can help be my co-pilot n i'll take u to greater heights with me?
:D a wise woman told me once, all men have to be taught, n like men, different women have different pleasure points. sleeping with a new (wo)man, is like the first time all over again.
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