Thursday, June 14, 2007

TITS... TITS TITS GODDAMN TITS...!!!

Wednesday, 13.06.2007. 2221 hours.

Last week, I was given one of the most disheartening news of my life.... :'(

....apparently, i can never get a cleavage!!! *SOB!*

i went for a bra fitting last week. having been on the Pill for about 8 months now, i feel a difference in my breasts.

i also thought i'd like to get me a nice new bra for my friends' weddings.

well, i got the tits alright. they're just everywhere but there. WTF?! big enough cup to make most chink.. oops, sorry, i mean, ricebowl, charlie, cina, yellow, etc. girls faint from delirious euphoria.... but i can never get the damn cleavage.

*stomps feet in frustration*
*throws BIG tantrum*
*goes to one corner and sulks*
*starts with the famous cussing...PKMKNNLLBCCBPBK...*

i mean.... FUCK!!! what's the point of having the breast-flesh when it's not getting me the attention, yes? chuh....

my chest is, seemingly broad. and high. i have, seemingly, a wide chest cavity. well, yes, i always knew that.

one fine day, my idiotic Psychobitch friend smacked me on where she thought my tummy was. instead, she howled in pain. she hit bone. my ribs. MUAHAHAHA... that was when i found out my chest was wider than most.

:( not like i'm an athlete and need that extra oxygen intake/longer breath-holding. unless i'm into dangerous sport like sexual asphyxiation, or something. which i'm not. crazy ah! can die lah! what's her name, Normala Samsuddin, or something like that, probably died from it. well, she certainly made scintillating news for hamsap JAWI guys who stopped talking in court for once.

well, i'm not about to hold my breath to increase the intensity of sexual orgasms. i just want a damn cleavage.

the wide chest cavity displaces the breasts. thank you very much....

so, what's that mean? i need to get E sized tits to get a cleavage? damn.... now THAT would be too heavy.

screw it lah! whoever fucks me has just gotta be happy with what i have. he asks me to get a breast enlargement, i'd counter by saying he get a penis enlargement. fair's fair, mate. bigger titties bring him more pleasure? ok... bigger dick brings ME more pleasure, too! :P

at least i still got me arse to fall back on :P

else... there's always duct tape!!!! :P

i think i'm totally scandalising my readers... and i know at least 2 of my former students read my blog. i've probably horrified them. 'My former BM teacher blogs about her TITS!!' :P

speaking of them, yesterday one of them added me on MSN. then she said: 'HI! so... mmm... what should i call u ah? still teacher? sounds odd...' to which i replied: 'just call me (insert nick here). everyone seems to call me that anyway' she says: 'ok... but still kinda odd...'

:P well, i guess, ya. i used to teach her. she can't be calling me by my nickname, yes? so what should she call me leh?? i also dunno worr...

8 comments:

aichiban said...

1. I have that "wide chest cavity" too. Its common for vertically challenged ppl. :cry:

2. I have a female friend who kept on complaining and looking for ways to reduce the fine cleavage she is having. Even for quotations n all. They attract too much attention. Constantly need to assure her of the nonsense it in. In some way, the world is fair in its cruelty.

Psychosis Personified said...

dun i get credit for waiting near 1 hour for u to fit your 'chest' into a gazilliion different bras? and waht bout my genuis bout the duct tape and double padding???
really should try the duct tape one day. wanna know if it actually works? ban, wan to help me raise that cleavage on the woman? hehehehehhe

nemesis-on-fire said...

ban: :cry: yes...

oh the girl is lucky! then again, i shouldn't complain. i got a fine enough ass to grab many people's attention. and have it grabbed, too. :angry:

i dont care if u watch until u came in ur pants, but dont ever ever touch if it isn't urs!!

psycho: yes, darling. u were infinitely patient. now if only i had a man as patient as u :P i'll go back and reward him accordingly. WAHAHAHA!!! but too bad la, i couldn't do it for u :P

whoaaa.. are u sure u wanna bring ban into this??

aichiban said...

Sure, anything involving breast, bring me into it. Psycho : seriously, that woman doesnt need any breast related help. Its not freakingly huge, just enough to suffocate guys.

nemesis-on-fire said...

ban&psycho: OI!! dun talk about me like i'm not here! n on my own blog to boot!! too much! :P

ban: u check out my tits???? :P uhh... ok.

it's enough to suffocate guys??? O_O are u sure ar??

one idiot told me once he thought it was an A cup... i didn't know if i should be incensed then, so i just laughed :P

Psychosis Personified said...

silver duct tape is the best no? then some bronzer to accentuate the spce between......hmmm ya just might work. sounds like a productive weekend project.

but what happens when she sweats? not to mention try to take it off. *ouch*

aichiban said...

this is the confusing.
i need live demonstration.

nemesis-on-fire said...

psycho: oiii...........OIIIIIIII..... dun objectify my breasts now!!!!

sweat arr... dunno lar. then again, let's not forget i am even allergic to silicone thingy. might prolly be allergic to that duct tape material.

as for the pain, no problem la. i go for waxing, remember? :P

ah ban: OOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO live demo :P NONONONONONONONONONO.... unless u be gayboy :P