Foreign

Strange how the thing I'm frightened most of is myself. What I'm capable of. And the things I don't understand. And don't know. And in the stillness of the night I lie awake and wonder. If I'm a fool, or if I'm a coward. My gut clenches in fear and my heart pounds. It pounds so hard I wonder if my ribcage would burst open with the pressure.

Fear. It's a foreign vocabulary. This is foreign territory. And I'm a foreigner here.

The insecurities come doubling back. And I'm bent double from the onslaught. Merciless. Unstoppable. Sudden. With no room for weakness. No room to catch a breath. And I know not how to fight back. How to stop this.

Fear. It's a foreign vocabulary. This is foreign territory. And I'm a foreigner here. In a foreign land.

Foreign.