the emotional post
the emotional post
*warning: this is an extremely personal post. don't read it if u can't stomach it.
maybe i'm hurting myself.
maybe in the process i hurt those who care for me.
maybe my approach is wrong.
maybe i am wrong.
maybe it's time to make a change.
i've never really been able to talk to many people in my life. having had strict parents, there were a lot of things i didn't say or do. and my social circle was rather limited. as a child, i was extremely sheltered. writing had always been an outlet, a vent, and an avenue for me to express myself. it is in the impersonal squiggles of the black and white that i found the strength to pour out how i truly felt about things. it was at first, long sheets of lined foolscape paper on which i penned my frustrations. but i always shredded them or burnt them because i didn't want my parents to find them. and then i discovered the joys of blogging. and my, at first, anonymous blog on livejournal became a place for distant friends to share my thoughts. but livejournal afforded me the type of private posting that i cherished, to keep painful thought processes out of prying eyes.
when i switched to blogspot that allowed me the customisation i liked, i lost that private blogging space, and everything became public. my rants, my struggles for composure, for personal growth, against personal demons. my long, angry rants are perhaps a little public now, and perhaps a little painful for some friends to read. perhaps more than a little burdensome and boring too.
perhaps now i need time to re-group, and to take stock of how best to proceed. perhaps this is the right time to have a major spring-cleaning and to throw out what no longer works for me. i'm semi-retiring from friendster. like the NEP, it has outlived it's usefulness and has gotten rather tacky.
and i'm taking a hiatus from this blog. for awhile. i need personal space. i need to struggle on my own for awhile. hopefully i'll find the strength to pull through a difficult period. hopefully, like the phoenix, i shall go through flames and be re-born a better person: stronger, if not wiser, at least a little more mature. maybe i need to re-connect with people and reality rather than put my thoughts out on a virtual space.
well, at least i'll try. but before i go, i promise to post up pictures of something that makes me happy and brings me peace: animals. i have some pics of doggie-woggies i'd like to share. at least i'll be taking a hike from the www on a positive note.
*warning: this is an extremely personal post. don't read it if u can't stomach it.
maybe i'm hurting myself.
maybe in the process i hurt those who care for me.
maybe my approach is wrong.
maybe i am wrong.
maybe it's time to make a change.
i've never really been able to talk to many people in my life. having had strict parents, there were a lot of things i didn't say or do. and my social circle was rather limited. as a child, i was extremely sheltered. writing had always been an outlet, a vent, and an avenue for me to express myself. it is in the impersonal squiggles of the black and white that i found the strength to pour out how i truly felt about things. it was at first, long sheets of lined foolscape paper on which i penned my frustrations. but i always shredded them or burnt them because i didn't want my parents to find them. and then i discovered the joys of blogging. and my, at first, anonymous blog on livejournal became a place for distant friends to share my thoughts. but livejournal afforded me the type of private posting that i cherished, to keep painful thought processes out of prying eyes.
when i switched to blogspot that allowed me the customisation i liked, i lost that private blogging space, and everything became public. my rants, my struggles for composure, for personal growth, against personal demons. my long, angry rants are perhaps a little public now, and perhaps a little painful for some friends to read. perhaps more than a little burdensome and boring too.
perhaps now i need time to re-group, and to take stock of how best to proceed. perhaps this is the right time to have a major spring-cleaning and to throw out what no longer works for me. i'm semi-retiring from friendster. like the NEP, it has outlived it's usefulness and has gotten rather tacky.
and i'm taking a hiatus from this blog. for awhile. i need personal space. i need to struggle on my own for awhile. hopefully i'll find the strength to pull through a difficult period. hopefully, like the phoenix, i shall go through flames and be re-born a better person: stronger, if not wiser, at least a little more mature. maybe i need to re-connect with people and reality rather than put my thoughts out on a virtual space.
well, at least i'll try. but before i go, i promise to post up pictures of something that makes me happy and brings me peace: animals. i have some pics of doggie-woggies i'd like to share. at least i'll be taking a hike from the www on a positive note.
1 comment:
go get some peace,dida...may the force b wif u. :))
exams done yet?if not, all the best!
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