Wednesday, October 10, 2007

LoL. Things I miss :P

{"I will tolerate no phones ringing. If you have your cell phone, please, give yourselves a cheap thrill and set it to vibrate."
-- beginning her first lecture.

"Some of you may have heard from less-than-pleased ex-students of mine that Professor Stanley is obsessed with sex. *pause for effect* This is true."
-- introduction to her first lecture (Tumour Biology of all things. But she did describe the reproduction of her lab mice in excruciating projectile-vomit-causing detail.)

"Hypertrophy is a response to excessive or prolonged demand, such as in the pregnant uterus - they don't call it labour for nothing."

"Semen is a most dangerous substance. Always avoid it at all costs. Research has shown that it gives you the biggest tumour of all - pregnancy."
-- explaining how squamous metaplasia is caused in the uterus.

"Some of these names are very old - we've used them since pussy was a cat."
-- introducing the terms 'melanoma' and 'seminoma'."

"Normal tissue is ordered and structured, like the dancers in Strictly Come Dancing. Cancerous tissue, then, is like the Strictly Come Dancing afterparty."
-- quite self-explanatory really.

"Bitter experience has taught me that 80% of this lecture theatre will not know what 'faecal' means, and that I must use language appropriate to your generation - this, ladies and gentlemen, is shit."

And they say med school lecturers are boring.}

-excerpt from Angry Medic. :P HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! that's from Cambridge, btw.

sometimes i miss what i studied. O&G docs are chockful of dirty jokes, especially.

i said this once, i shall say it again: Nothing is sacred in the medical profession!

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