The Royal Wedding Dress!

Yes, yes, I know I'm late :P But I was at work and had other things to do before I finally managed to get down to checking out the Royal Wedding.

I must say I love the dress though! And I totally agree with this headline:

http://royalwedding.yahoo.com/blogs/kate-middleton-wedding-dress-a-success-6034?nc

I've always loved delicate, soft lace (not the cheap scratchy ones), and this is a little reminiscent of my mom's wedding gown, with it's long lacy sleeves (of course, mom's wasn't as glam), but I gotta applaud HRH Kate, for how she achieved the blend of traditional and modern in such an elegant manner.

The lace and corset bodice, narrowed at the waist, padded at the hips with the hint of a bustle at the way it gathers at the back gives a nod to the Victorian look, yet the sweetheart neckline bodice, peek-a-boo V-neck lace overlay and clean-cut panels and pleats of her ivory satin gazar skirt gives it a modern twist.

It isn't overly shiny and ostentatious. It's sleek yet feminine. Glamorous, yet refined.

I especially loved her veil. Traditionally long, yet minimalist modern with it's soft, airy, light and delicate look, held together with only a tiara. Overall, a subtly sexy, yet conservative look.

I know some people complain about the train, but I think it was brilliant! Long enough to be stately and regal, short enough that it is not superfluous wastage. Gorgeous!

Vicissitudes

I had decided a while back that I'd like to try a new life somewhere before I'm 30.

But things never seemed to go the way I wished it to.

For awhile, I despaired. I wondered why everyone seemed so sure and so settled, yet I'm still floundering like a fish out of water.

Things were very difficult. I was getting very tired in my personal life, I was tired of fighting what always seemed inevitable....

I was also tired of the place I was living in, and I was looking to move out....

At work, my team was getting bullied, and so, slowly, one by one, they were all leaving... yet it seemed like I was the only one who was left behind.

And so I prayed.... I applied elsewhere, I sought guidance... I told My Lord... this is what I'm hoping for... but let Your Will be done... I put my life in Your gentle hands, I let myself be guided by Your Wisdom.... I know that You will let things happen, when You see fit, in Your time, not in mine.

Months passed. Things seemed to get from bad to worse.

Personally, I felt I was not going to wait for things to get better, I stopped fighting. I guess in a way, a part of me kind of died inside. And I let it die. I explained things, I tried what I can, but I suppose I stopped wondering. I stopped asking. I don't know if I stopped caring, perhaps I never will, but I stopped trying to take the burden of it on my shoulders.

I had my own life to live now. And so I decided I should live it.

I should celebrate life, so that if I should face death, I will have no regrets.

I spoke up at where I was staying. I said I was unhappy, I said I didn't wanna care so much anymore. I know one of them took offence, but I decided, if things don't change by May, I'd just leave this place behind me.

As for work, I had decided I'm looking elsewhere, but if there's nothing, I'd consider just resigning and going home for some re-assessment.

I asked for help. I sent my resumes here, there, anywhere I can get help.

I'm still seeing dragonflies. As many as two years ago again, and as consistently. I wondered if it's a sign, and I prayed again that He shall reveal Himself to me in His time and in His way.

And I got my answer. Last night, my prayer was answered. I have an offer. Quite good at that. In a neighbouring place....

I'm afraid, to be honest... It's not easy uprooting oneself and transplanting myself somewhere else. It's not easy giving up everything I've built for myself for 9 years here. It's not easy leaving my comfort zone.... but I felt I must. It's a push I have not felt for a long long time....

I asked for a sign, and it couldn't be clearer than this... Someone told me once: if you don't get something you asked for, don't despair, it just means that it's not meant for you, and God has a better plan for you.

Perhaps I'm ready now, and God wants me to go follow my heart.

I'm afraid, this may make or break everything. This may make or break me. I pray the Good Lord grants me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change... the courage to change the things that I can.... and the wisdom to know the difference....

I'm learning... to celebrate life....

Wow... Interesting Case of Leukaemia

The twins who unlocked the secrets of leukaemia

British girls are behind dramatic breakthrough in medicine

By Steve Connor, Science Editor

Published: 18 January 2008

A study of two identical twin girls has led to a new understanding of the causes of childhood leukaemia and could revolutionise the treatment – and possibly prevention – of the potentially lethal disease. The detailed investigation of the two British girls has, for the first time, enabled medical researchers to track down the source of the cancerous stem cells in the blood that can lead to leukaemia in the first few years of life.

Olivia and Isabella Murphy, aged four, from Bromley in Kent, have provided science with an astonishing insight into the nature of leukaemia because of the highly unusual situation where both of them are at risk of the disease but only Olivia developed it.

Scientists believe the findings will enable them to develop better treatments with fewer and less serious side effects. It could also help in the search for the ultimate cause of the condition, which is newly diagnosed in 500 children each year in Britain.

Olivia and Isabella share the same genetic mutation to the blood-forming cells of the bone marrow, which must have occurred during their time in the womb because neither of their parents was found to have the same mutation.

However, only Olivia went on to develop leukaemia because she was unfortunate enough to have suffered a second mutation after birth, which triggered the onset of the cancer.

Scientists believe the mutation in the womb – which occurred in one of the foetuses but was passed to the other via circulating blood cells – caused both girls to be born with pre-cancerous stem cells in their blood, which predisposed them to leukaemia.

However, Olivia suffered the critical second mutation after the twins were born. That led to the development of the full-blown blood cancer which had to be treated with chemotherapy drugs that stunted her growth and led to a serious eye infection.

It was that difference between the two girls that enabled the scientists to locate the pre-cancerous stem cells in both children and then to figure out the sequence of genetic mutations.

Isolating the pre-cancerous stem cells from Olivia and Isabella, who will be five next month, could prove pivotal in the further understanding and treatment of childhood leukaemia, said Professor Mel Greaves of the Institute of Cancer Research in Sutton, Surrey.

"We suspect that these cells can escape conventional chemotherapy and cause relapse during or after treatment. These are the cells that dictate disease course and provide the bull's eye to target with new therapies," he said.

Olivia has successfully undergone treatment for leukaemia and is in remission. However, she is blind in one eye caused by an infection after her time on chemotherapy, which affected her immune system.

Her mother, Sarah, 35, said Olivia's treatment had affected her growth and her hair had become curly, but it had at least cleared many of the pre-cancerous blood cells identified by the research team.

She said she was worried about Isabella."Olivia is almost clear but ... Isabella still has a long way to go. They said the cells might die off naturally but obviously it is something which is hanging over us," Mrs Murphy said.

"It is quite hard but we have always tried to remain positive, although that is easy to say. It would be very hard to have to get through it twice but we are trying not to think about it too much."

Professor Greaves, whose study with Professor Tariq Enver of the Medical Research Council's Weatherall Institute for Molecular Medicine at Oxford University is published in the journal Science, said the genetic mutation found in the pre-cancerous stem cells of the twins was caused by the merging of two genes known as TEL and AML-1.

When the scientists inserted the hybrid TEL-AML-1 gene into human umbilical cord cells and inserted those mutated cells into mice, the mutated cells became self-renewing with the animals' bone marrow, just like they are in children such as Olivia and Isabella.

"This research means we can now test whether the treatment of acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in children can be correlated with either the disappearance or persistence of the leukaemia stem cells," said Professor Enver of Oxford University. "Our next goal is to target both the pre-leukaemic stem cell and the cancer stem cell itself with new or existing drugs to cure leukaemia while avoiding the debilitating and often harmful side effects of current treatments."

Bruce Morland, a childhood cancer specialist at Birmingham Children's Hospital, said the study brought scientists one step closer to the "holy grail" of identifying leukaemic stem cells.

"By determining the characteristics of the leukaemic stem cells it is ultimately the hope of clinicians that therapies can be specifically targeted to the leukaemia, thus sparing the patient from some of the significant side effects of conventional chemotherapy treatment," he said.

Most common childhood cancer

500 new cases of childhood leukaemia in UK per year

1 in 3 of all cancer cases among children is leukaemia

50 percentage of all cases affecting under-five age group

80% survival rate of commonest form (acute lymphoblastic leukaemia)

55% cure rate for acute myeloid leukaemia (which accounts for 1 in 4 cases)

1 in 10 survival rate in the 1960s

0 survival rate pre-1960s

1.4% rise in in childhood lymphoid leukaemia cases in Europe from 1970 to 1999

45.6 per million number of cases among black children in the US during the 1980s and 1990s

27.8 per million number of cases among white children in the same period

50 per million number of cases among Hispanics living in California

~The Independent, UK~

while i've been away.....

was away at a WoW house... where all the comps are always in fully-utilised mode, so i didn't have much of a chance to blog despite my wanting to write about several things.

things are in full swing now that i'm back at work (:() but i still really wanna blog about the horny politician.

so an em-ian minister pulls a clinton.... and is considered a HERO cos he 'apologises' about it in public.... though how it's called an apology is beyond me.

what about it irks me?

statements such as 'she is a PERSONAL FRIEND' (hohoho) and 'unsure whether it was old or new'... right....
and his 'next course of action' has yet to be decided: 'I will think about it after meeting the press.' (and fucking 'em female press ppl silly? they're all personal friends)

and then the police are coming down on those who own/distribute the DVD.... HUH?? it's an offense... right...

here's the thing: if he were an opp leader, he'd be crucified downside up by now. and subject to all forms of verbal and what-not abuse on his character...

and really now, his being recorded fucking a 'personal friend' silly should be ample proof of a lack of moral credibility, and he should step down from politics gracefully.

even Clinton would probably have done so if such proof were circulated around the US of A, in, say, Arkansas.

in all seriousness, my bitterness with the ruling team aside:
i'm not saying it's right to invade one's privacy with recordings and such... it IS. but would there be such a crackdown and hue-and-cry on the invasion of privacy if it were, say, an artiste? or just an ordinary person like you or me? or if it were an opposition leader?

yes, temptations abound. perhaps the marriage has long been dead.... but he is STILL married. is it more right for him to maintain his marriage for the sake of posterity (and because it clouds the eyes of the public, therefore, making it easier to enter politics) and then fuck 'personal friends', or 'not-so-personal friends', rather than get a divorce and fuck 'friends' as a bachelor?

it's one thing to be a single man with a fuckbuddy. quite another to be a married/unavailable man with a fuckbuddy.

if you're a confirmed bachelor/bachelorette who doesn't pretend to want a relationship/emotional entanglement, it's a completely different ballgame than a man or woman who has ties that bind.

yes, he may be a good politician, leader of the people, one who does the duties of his office faithfully. perhaps. but betrayal of trust is betrayal of trust. if he were a good politician, etc. etc. then his error in judgment is one the people of his constituency as well as himself has to pay heavily for. which is very very sad... because in all fairness, he HAS been a good Minister of Health, in my opinion.

but fair is fair. pay for his error he has to. and firstly, he has a lot to make up for. to his wife and children, most of all, if they still mean a lot to him. if his marriage has long been over, then it's perhaps about time he stop the farce and file for divorce. if said 'personal friend' is someone he has long wanted to marry, then do so. it's better than living a lie. and lying to the public.

whether it were just a fling, or an emotional entanglement, is BESIDE THE POINT. it doesn't make his behaviour any more RIGHT. in fact, an emotional entanglement, makes it even sadder. because the poor woman AS WELL AS his poor wife has to suffer in silence for such a LOOOOONNNNGGGGG time. how idiot politicians interviewed in the papers (http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/1/6/focus/19931882&sec=focus) can make one less 'sinful' than the other just shows how SHALLOW and SUPERFICIAL some people are. and how they hold DOUBLE STANDARDS for different groups of people.

yes, after marriage, you may still meet another man or woman that you fancy. but is it RIGHT to pursue both at the same time? marriage is a CHOICE. it is a COMMITMENT. it means choosing to fuck one vagina or one penis for the rest of your fucking life (pun intended). it means keeping yourself emotionally, mentally and physically LOYAL to ONE PERSON until you die (or the marriage gets dissolved). it means RESPONSIBILITY and ACCOUNTABILITY.

like a job: if you're working for someone, you may still find another job that you fancy. should you pursue both at the same time too? certainly not. you WOULD get fired. and you WOULD receive disciplinary action. but in marriage it's ok? shouldn't you suffer the same fate? isn't a person's tie to another person more important than a person's tie to a job? both are COMMITMENTS. why is one less important than another?

in an ordinary citizen, such behaviour is wrong. ordinary people suffer censure for it. in a politician holding office, does that make it OK? certainly not. perhaps we should make all politicians who say stupid things like that step down as well. because i'm deeply ashamed to hear such idiocy coming out of the mouths of our elected MPs.

but in all sarcasm for the ruling team:
perhaps i should join the party too, so i could fuck around with 20 year-old male gigolos at 50 and call them personal friends. and then still arrogantly say that i'm unsure about how old the tape was, just so ppl will think i 'masih bocor' at 50.

seriously. this place is going steadily downhill. it makes me sick.

the self-aggrandizement and egocentricity of emian politics and politicians sickens me. this just epitomises such disgustingly low-life behaviour.

and the datin.... what the fuck? 'trying to pull a hillary?' was the first thing i told the boy when i read the papers.

i swear by God's footstool and by the heavens, if the boy ever pulls a 'datuk CSL' on me, i'd:
a) call the courts on him and get him crucified.
b) empty his savings and make them MINE.
c) tie him up to a chair next to his own bbq pit, build a slow fire, cut up his stomach with a katana (yes, trust me, i know ppl who collects swords as a hobby), pull out his intestines slowly and start slowly roasting it over the slow fire (while he's still alive, yes...) while:
d) getting several HUGE-ASS STEROID-ADDICTED IRON-PUMPERS in gimp-suits to gang-rape his ass..
e) get all my friends to make a recording of said unwilling homosexual orgy
f) distribute said recording for FREE
g) carve some curses into his sorry penis with a blunt apparatus
h) castrate said sorry penis with said bloody blunt apparatus
i) by the time all that is done, if he isn't dead yet, he'd wish he was.

i know he reads my blog :P and i know that the above was a resurrection of my coldly graphic male-bashing a la Sixth Form. yes, i knew precisely why most guys feared me. i know. there's prime example there. well, i don't care. all the better for him to know that he shouldn't humiliate and cross me that way unless he wants to be tortured and killed slowly and painfully and even more humiliatingly.

but he's an intelligent man :D with a past of his own. i'm sure he knows better ;)

Taking Leave

might take a hiatus from blogging for awhile.

decided to take a month's unpaid leave.
that would mean i won't be having internet connection, either.

planning to go home, but we'll see about that.