Patterns

some things are just indicative of behavioural patterns.

the way a person treats someone else. makes their replies. act out.

they're indicative of how things will turn out a year, 5 years, 10 years down the line.

if a method didn't work out the first time around, following the same road 10 times over 10 years would still have the same end result. one has to stop, take stock of what's working and what's not, and try something else, or just move on.

what many people fail to realise is that although a person may love someone with everything a person has, sometimes they don't end up marrying the person due to circumstances beyond a person's control.

likewise, although a person does not love someone as much, he/ she ends up marrying the person because they've learnt to care for each other, make the effort to understand each other, and learn to live with each other.

that's the mistake plenty of people make. to assume that just because there's a lot of love, they need not put as much effort into it. that they need not be as patient, as kind, as understanding. because the other person should be patient, kind, understanding. 

however, true love is a two way street. 

just because one partner is unhappy with him/ herself, the other should not change him/ herself to try to make their partner happy. he/ she would lose him/ herself in the process and become a person without character. ultimately the relationship would fail, because a person would not be able to put up with that for long.

so unless u'd rather have a partner with absolutely no character so u can dominate the entire relationship, u've got to know exactly what u want, what u need and what u can contribute to a relationship. otherwise the same mistakes would be made at 24, at 27, at 28, at 29, at 31, at 33.

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

~1 Corinthians 13~