i remember 9/11

i remember 9/11

it's been 5 years since the 9/11 attacks. how much have we learnt in the aftermath of such atrocities?
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i have no answer to that. no wisecracks either. today was an odd day for me. and i'm still feeling moody. can't quite place the reason, but there is something that upset me. it's a cloudy day here, perhaps it's a sign to remind us of what happened on this date 5 years ago. perhaps.

9/11 will be our generation's horror story. it's not something we could ever possibly forget. and really, we shouldn't. the lessons of history are painful lessons. and they would continue to be unless we start actually taking notes and avoiding them.

5 years ago, i was in my first semester in UPM, and was coming back from mid-sem exams. walking along the stuffy corridor, i noticed something very strange. the girls were scurrying along the corridor towards the tv room like little mice, and there was an electricity to the air that i had never witnessed before.

curious, i made my way to the tv room, and as i was entering the room, i encountered my floormate from Kedah who grabbed my arm and said simply: There's been an attack. i stared at her stunned and nonplussed for a moment before replying: WHAT? so she dragged me in the room, and i sat on the crowded floor next to her, bag and all. the news was on, and the scene on it still horrifies me. that scene shall be played over and over again for weeks and months after that. the plane crashing into the Twin Towers, bringing the famed towers down with it.

there was a collective gasp in the room, and i found my mouth opening in shock. but what shocked me more was when i heard whispers going: Padan muka, america. ('Serves you right, america) my Kedahan friend and i looked at each other, with horror and disgust on our faces, and both of us touched each other's arms in a sign of solidarity and also because each knew the other was getting very angry with those words and wanted to calm each other down.

those reading this who knows me might wonder why i didn't tell said girls off. you see, we were in a local public university. 2001 was a year of controversy when it comes to tertiary education in malaysia. it was not too long ago that the political climate was rocked by D.S. Anwar Ibrahim's capture and trial, and just a few years back, the country had been hit by the Asian economic crisis. several student leaders of some major local universities were being highlighted as political activists and then there was the obvious silence as when unwanted issues were brought to light.

i still remember the 'hot' student dialogue between the student body and some fancy minister who tried to curb the political activities of the powerful student bodies (then). we were the first batch to be forced to sign the AUKU-Akta Universiti dan Kolej (Universities and Colleges Act) forbidding us to join political parties and activities (even peaceful demonstrations). it was a very uneasy period. and there was obvious unrest.

not to mention 2001 was the year entry into local public universities were brought to light, and yes, they tried feeding us the student dialogue here as well. the issue of meritocracy and racial quota was another big issue that year. one obviously unwanted by certain parties as well.

it was a difficult period. my Kedahan friend and i were both very frustrated to keep our mouths shut, but we knew better. our moves were already so closely guarded. a lot of societies were already forced to go 'underground' and we did not need to get into trouble with the college management, and later the university management. so we left the room when the news ended. shocked, horrified at the senseless killings and the brutality of it. but for me, i have to admit, i also admired the audacity of such a tactical manoeuvre. i certainly do not condone it, i find it extremely distasteful, but what a move. they certainly got what they wanted. they shocked the world to their knees. they brought to light their existence. and they brought the world to chaos.

can we recover from the shock that was 9/11? have we? a part of me hopes we never will.

let's have a moment of silence for the lives of the men and women lost during 9/11. regardless of race and religion. for we are, in the basest form, more alike than we'd like to admit. more alike than we know.

we all want love and acceptance: the faith to believe, the hope to dream, the love to see things through

after all, we are all human: ashes to ashes, dust to dust