Wishful Thinking

i'd fuck the caps today...

i'd really like to just pack up and leave everything behind me... just go somewhere and start over. from scratch... new life, new face, new name... that kinda thing.

that's the one liberating thing about moving to a new place. being able to leave the weight of history behind... being allowed to start over...

barring that, i'd just like to take off and disappear for awhile... go somewhere where it's safe for me to walk out at this time of the night for a long walk... where silence is my best friend, and the night breeze whispers the secrets and wisdom of the ages to me... where i can hear my heart beat again... not for anyone else, but for me.

where i can hear my mind think again, minus the incessant plodding of many other commitments... everything and everyone wanting a piece of you.

but mostly the night breeze... perhaps she would share her secrets. secrets learnt over aeons of watching all kinds of people and their troubles... that way, perhaps she can whisper to me how to solve mine.

i miss those quiet times... of just being with myself, and the cosmos. when i feel the stars understand how i feel, even if no one else seems to. of being able to forgive and understand myself.