The Carousel
The Carousel
Monday, 22.01.2007. 2317 hours.
Why wouldn't you leave me alone? I've only just about managed to put you behind me. I was happily considering new beginnings. The second quarter of my life. Why now?
You know what? I don't wanna know. Once I did. Once I asked. Now I don't anymore. I don't wanna know why it happened, and how it happened, and why you did what you did. You just did.
I just wanna stop thinking. I wanna stop remembering. I wanna stop wondering. I wanna wipe the slate so clean, it's squeaky.
Why must things come full circle? Why must the past haunt me?
If you cross the boundaries of one country and start a fire in the other, at least have the courtesy to put out the fire before going somewhere else. That's just common courtesy. But no, you leave it for a slow, long burn that turned into a forest fire and damn near razed it all to the ground.
There's nothing left, cupcake. When it comes to you, there's just an empty shell. The tears are spent, the fire is gone. There's just.... emptiness. Not even loneliness. Just. Empty. Hollow. I think you know that, too, now. You could tell, couldn't you? That explains the faltering and the silences, doesn't it? For some reason, you're afraid because I'm no longer angry. Because I'm letting it slide. I'm letting go.
You've someone now. Sever the ties that bind us. It's unfair for all if you hold on to something that's no longer viable. What we have is stalemate.
We can't regress, there's too much hurt. Friends don't do to each other what you did to me.
We can't progress, there's too much distrust, and I've lost my respect for you. And there's no longer any communication. Perhaps there never really was. There's nothing left to salvage.
So let me go. You don't want me. You don't need me. Allow me to keep a safe distance. At least for now. Let's wipe the slate clean. I'm not going on the carousel with you anymore.
It never seems to stop. It makes me nauseous. It's frightening when you go around in circles and cannot seem to get off. That's how it's like with you.
I don't want it. I'm taking a leap off the carousel. I don't care if I fall. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, someone will catch me. But it matters not to me, if there isn't. I'm used to cleaning out my own wounds. All I want it Out.
Monday, 22.01.2007. 2317 hours.
Why wouldn't you leave me alone? I've only just about managed to put you behind me. I was happily considering new beginnings. The second quarter of my life. Why now?
You know what? I don't wanna know. Once I did. Once I asked. Now I don't anymore. I don't wanna know why it happened, and how it happened, and why you did what you did. You just did.
I just wanna stop thinking. I wanna stop remembering. I wanna stop wondering. I wanna wipe the slate so clean, it's squeaky.
Why must things come full circle? Why must the past haunt me?
If you cross the boundaries of one country and start a fire in the other, at least have the courtesy to put out the fire before going somewhere else. That's just common courtesy. But no, you leave it for a slow, long burn that turned into a forest fire and damn near razed it all to the ground.
There's nothing left, cupcake. When it comes to you, there's just an empty shell. The tears are spent, the fire is gone. There's just.... emptiness. Not even loneliness. Just. Empty. Hollow. I think you know that, too, now. You could tell, couldn't you? That explains the faltering and the silences, doesn't it? For some reason, you're afraid because I'm no longer angry. Because I'm letting it slide. I'm letting go.
You've someone now. Sever the ties that bind us. It's unfair for all if you hold on to something that's no longer viable. What we have is stalemate.
We can't regress, there's too much hurt. Friends don't do to each other what you did to me.
We can't progress, there's too much distrust, and I've lost my respect for you. And there's no longer any communication. Perhaps there never really was. There's nothing left to salvage.
So let me go. You don't want me. You don't need me. Allow me to keep a safe distance. At least for now. Let's wipe the slate clean. I'm not going on the carousel with you anymore.
It never seems to stop. It makes me nauseous. It's frightening when you go around in circles and cannot seem to get off. That's how it's like with you.
I don't want it. I'm taking a leap off the carousel. I don't care if I fall. Perhaps, if I'm lucky, someone will catch me. But it matters not to me, if there isn't. I'm used to cleaning out my own wounds. All I want it Out.
5 comments:
wah lu ok kah...
cheer up ya :)
i find imagining urself to be kicking him in the nads HARD to b quite helpful. hiak hiak hiak.
whylethimgettoyou?youcanchangeyourresponce.
Anonymous is right.
You don't have to ride the carousel if you don't want to.
And no one can hurt you unless you let them.
Get off the carousel. It doesn't deserve you. Jump if you must. There will be someone to catch you.
jl: me ok, thanx :)
bren: yeah yeah.. me very ganas. i geddit...
angry medic: see? i knew i was fool enough to let him. else i couldn't give a damn, yes? ahhh... i jump. regardless of whether someone catches me. i no longer have that kinda faith in the human race, sad to say.
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