Sleeping Aid

I have a few friends who says the most boggling things. Here is an excerpt from a conversation on MSN with one of them. Yes, I asked his permission to post this up, especially for my single girlfriends' reading pleasures. I think they'd find it as hilarious as I. And I want feedback on his ideas, btw. Do post comments. Anonymously if it makes you comfortable to post something outrageous. Though knowing my friends, they would probably happily post their ideas with their names proudly emblazoned over it :P


Me says (2:57 PM):
LOL: so that's why little boys can run faster than little girls-ball bearings and stick shift!
Mr X says (2:58 PM):
haha
Me says (2:58 PM):
:D oi! what's 7 inches
Me says (2:58 PM):
i give up :P
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
dont give up
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
i wanna know .
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
because i dont
Mr X says (2:59 PM):
lol
Me says (2:59 PM):
huh?
Me says (2:59 PM):
u dont know what's 7 inches?
Me says (2:59 PM):
i dont know la wei
Me says (3:00 PM):
is it anatomy or what?
Me says (3:00 PM):
cant be intestines
Me says (3:00 PM):
that's like 3 basketball court long
Mr X says (3:00 PM):
clitoris ?
Me says (3:01 PM):
cannot be
Me says (3:01 PM):
:P
Me says (3:01 PM):
the labia maybe
Me says (3:01 PM):
the vagina is only 3-4 inches long, i think
Me says (3:01 PM):
but expandable
Me says (3:01 PM):
if i remember right
Mr X says (3:01 PM):
expandable lenghtwise ?
Me says (3:02 PM):
width length depth
Me says (3:02 PM):
amazing thing that is :P
Me says (3:02 PM):
but only the first few centimeters of it is very sensitive
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
if only they were bigger.
Me says (3:03 PM):
nearer up the cervix, surgery can be performed minus anaesthesia..
Me says (3:03 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:03 PM):
i'd make a fortune selling them as sleeping bags
Me says (3:03 PM):
selling vaginas as sleeping bags?!
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
yeah !
Me says (3:04 PM):
wtf
Me says (3:04 PM):
how
Me says (3:04 PM):
what
Me says (3:04 PM):
huh
Me says (3:04 PM):
*boggled*
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
like .
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
ermm
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
stick ur finger in there.
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok, i should hang out with u more often, u say the funniest things
Me says (3:04 PM):
hahahahahaha
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
how good does ur finger feel ?
Mr X says (3:04 PM):
damn nice . .
Me says (3:04 PM):
OMFG :D
Me says (3:04 PM):
ok
Me says (3:05 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
sooo .
Mr X says (3:05 PM):
a vagina sleeping bag would be hella comfortable riht ?
Me says (3:05 PM):
yep
Me says (3:05 PM):
sure
Me says (3:05 PM):
:P
Me says (3:06 PM):
vagina sleeping bag indeed :D
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
yes yes
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
wat next ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
what would u come up with next?
Mr X says (3:06 PM):
penis bolster ?
Me says (3:06 PM):
haha!
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
testicle excercise balls ?
Me says (3:07 PM):
a penis is meant to be inside of me, not outside :P
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
i'd make more money marketing it as a bolster than a dildo
Me says (3:07 PM):
:P testicles too sensitive la wei
Me says (3:07 PM):
why bolster?
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
what u ppl end up doing with it is none of my business
Mr X says (3:07 PM):
because more ppl would buy a bolster
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
and its easier to sell
Me says (3:08 PM):
ok... what size would penis bolster be?
Me says (3:08 PM):
pray tell :P
Mr X says (3:08 PM):
4 ft centre bolster .
Mr X says (3:09 PM):
with multiple .. 7inches sticking out and opposite angles .
Me says (3:09 PM):
LOL
Me says (3:09 PM):
wow dude. genius is you yet
Me says (3:10 PM):
i'm damn tempted to post this up anonymously and see what my cheeky girlfriends say about this
Me says (3:10 PM):
LOL
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
especially the single ones
Me says (3:10 PM):
which is MOST of them anyway
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
hahar
Mr X says (3:10 PM):
do it .

this is what boys are for, btw. :P entertainment!!! :D

Foreign

Strange how the thing I'm frightened most of is myself. What I'm capable of. And the things I don't understand. And don't know. And in the stillness of the night I lie awake and wonder. If I'm a fool, or if I'm a coward. My gut clenches in fear and my heart pounds. It pounds so hard I wonder if my ribcage would burst open with the pressure.

Fear. It's a foreign vocabulary. This is foreign territory. And I'm a foreigner here.

The insecurities come doubling back. And I'm bent double from the onslaught. Merciless. Unstoppable. Sudden. With no room for weakness. No room to catch a breath. And I know not how to fight back. How to stop this.

Fear. It's a foreign vocabulary. This is foreign territory. And I'm a foreigner here. In a foreign land.

Foreign.

sighs... the old cloning debate again. remember Dolly, kids? hmm... what do you people think? let's do a quasi-poll, shall we?

**
Cloning: a giant step

For the first time, scientists have created dozens of cloned embryos from adult primates. But what are the implications of this technical breakthrough for the future of mankind?
By Steve Connor, Science Editor
Published: 12 November 2007
A technical breakthrough has enabled scientists to create for the first time dozens of cloned embryos from adult monkeys, raising the prospect of the same procedure being used to make cloned human embryos.

Attempts to clone human embryos for research have been dogged by technical problems and controversies over fraudulent research and questionable ethics. But the new technique promises to revolutionise the efficiency by which scientists can turn human eggs into cloned embryos.

It is the first time that scientists have been able to create viable cloned embryos from an adult primate – in this case a 10-year-old male rhesus macaque monkey – and they are scheduled to report their findings later this month.

The scientists will also demonstrate that they have been able to extract stem cells from some of the cloned embryos and that they have managed to encourage these embryonic cells to develop in the laboratory into mature heart cells and brain neurons.

Scientists who know of the research said it was the breakthrough that they had all been waiting for because, until now, there was a growing feeling that there might be some insuperable barrier to creating cloned embryos from adult primates – including humans.

The development will not be welcomed in all quarters. Opponents of cloning will argue that the new technique of manipulating primate eggs to improve cloning efficiency will lead to increased attempts at creating – and destroying – cloned human embryos for research purposes.

Although it is illegal in Britain to place any such cloned embryos into the womb of a woman, many people also fear that the relative ease of being able to perform cloning using the skin cells of an adult will increase the chances of its being applied to produce a cloned baby. Scientists in South Korea reported in 2004 that they had created the first cloned human embryo but in 2006 their study was retracted after it emerged that its main author, Hwang Woo-suk , had committed fraud.

There has only been one other documented example of a human embryonic clone, but it died after a few days and did not produce stem cells. The work has so far not been replicated.

The scientists who carried out the latest primate work are believed to have tried to implant about 100 cloned embryos into the wombs of around 50 surrogate rhesus macaque mothers but have not yet succeeded with the birth of any cloned offspring.

However, one senior scientist involved in the study said that this may simply be down to bad luck – it took 277 attempts, for instance, to create Dolly the sheep, the first clone of an adult mammal.

The work was led by Shoukhrat Mitalipov, a Russian-born scientist at the Oregon National Primate Research Centre in Beaverton. Dr Mitalipov helped to pioneer a new way of handling primate eggs during the cloning process, which involved fusing each egg with a nucleus taken from a skin cell of an adult primate.

Dr Mitalipov said he was unable to comment on the study until it was published in the journal Nature. But he told colleagues at a scientific meeting this year that he had made two batches of stem cells from 20 cloned embryos and tests had shown they were true clones.

Professor Alan Trounson of Monash University in Australia said Dr Mitalipov's findings represented the long-awaited breakthrough. Despite many attempts, no one had been able to produce cloned primate embryos from adult cells, yet this had been done on dozens of other non-primate species. " This is 'proof of concept' for the primate. It has been thought by some [to be too] difficult in monkeys – and humans – but those of us who work [with] animals such as sheep and cattle thought that success rates would be much like that achieved in these species," Professor Trounson said.

"Mitalipov's data confirms this. They have the skills necessary and we can now move on to consider what might be able to be achieved in humans."

Professor Don Wolf, who led the laboratory at the Oregon National Primate Research Centre before his recent retirement, said the new procedure was based on a microscopic technique that does not use ultraviolet light and dyes, which appear to damage primate eggs.

"In the early days we tried to use that technique in the monkey and unbeknownst to us at the time that was basically damaging the egg. So one of the keys was to remove that step from the process," Dr Wolf said.

"We could now produce cloned blastocysts [embryos] in the monkey at a reasonable frequency, at least a frequency that would allow us ...to study the cloned blastocyst ," Professor Wolf said.

The Oregon team, working with a group in China, has so far produced about 100 cloned embryos that have been transferred into around 50 female macaques, but none has resulted in a full-term pregnancy, he said.

"It's possible that we're still just having bad luck. We're producing may be one in 20 or one in 30 cloned blastocysts that are 'normal' and capable of producing a pregnancy and we just haven't got them into the animal recipient at the right time to allow implantation and pregnancy to occur," Professor Wolf said.

"The focus now is going to be on therapeutic cloning and using the non-human primate as a paradigm for therapeutic cloning for what you might be able to do clinically," he said.

"We're the first to do it, although it's a tainted subject because of the fraudulent research that came out of South Korea. One can never be sure but there may be some validity to what the South Koreans did. But this would now be the first documented therapeutic cloning in a primate," he added.

A brief history of cloning

The monkey-cloning technique is the same basic procedure that resulted in Dolly the sheep. The nucleus of a healthy, unfertilised egg is removed and another nucleus from the mature skin cell of an adult animal is placed inside the egg. With careful timing and the use of electrical pulses, an embryo can be created which is a genetic clone of the skin tissue donor. It is possible to implant embryos created in this way into the womb to produce cloned animals. This so-called 'reproductive cloning' of humans is illegal in Britain and many other countries. However it has been applied to a range of animal species, including:

* Cow: Many domestic cattle have been successfully cloned. First attempt to clone an endangered species was Noah, a rare gaur ox, which was cloned in the US in 2001 but died 48 hours after birth

* Mouse: Cumulina was a common brown house mouse, cloned from adult cells at the University of Hawaii in 1997. She survived to adulthood and produced two litters, before dying in May 2000

* Horse: Called Prometea, the first cloned horse, born in Italy in May 2003

* Cat: A kitten called CopyCat was born in 2002 in Texas, and gave birth to three kittens by a natural father in September 2006

* Dog: Snuppy, born in South Korea. Doubts about its authenticity were dispelled by DNA tests. The group has also cloned two wolf cubs, called Snuwolf and Snuwolffy using the same procedure. Cloned Afghan hounds named Bona, Peace and Hope have also been born

~The Independent, UK. 12 November 2007 17:03~

Cerebral Haemorrhage

been reading a book on alternate history for the past weekend, which spurred me on to read up on african issues online. haven't done this in awhile, actually.

resulting in (in short): several papers on gender issues, changing masculinities, migrant labour and unemployment, apartheid and political violence, western medical deviations and biotechnological warfare (with regards to apartheid and ethnic-cleasing). generational conflict, the clash between too-rapid urbanisation and traditional practices, in relation to homeland construction at the turn of the 21st century, and ALL of THESE affecting (and inducing) transactional sex among African women (specifically those from KwaZulu-Natal) (guess this is what someone told me would be called 'freelancers').

it's FASCINATING.

IMHO, africa and asia has a richness in cultural and historical diversity which westerners either do not have, or have forgotten. rise and fall of civilisations, i suppose. assimilation, or annihilation? you are all brilliant people. you decide.

and i'm reminded once more of 13-year-old me. wanting to volunteer as a social worker in far-off Africa. though the issue then (which still remains, though, i hope, to perhaps to a lesser degree than almost 1 and 1/2 decades ago) was female genital mutilation (i.e.: for those who don't know: the cutting off of a young girl's clitoris and sewing up her vagina leaving a teensy-weensy hole just large enough for menstrual blood to flow through. and this done using the same razor and needle for say, 50 girls. UNSTERILISED.) PREDOMINANTLY MASCULINE (but terribly uninformed, perhaps in part due to 'masculinity'?) CULTURE can be SO BLOODY CRUEL. pun intended. and men can be such assholes. makes me wonder how men would like their assholes sewn up. then maybe these macho macho men would know how it feels to have something big pushing against a tiny hole, and being unable to stretch. -.-

yeah, i'm graphic. :P been told that countless times.

and i'm a feminist. i don't make any pretensions to being otherwise. just ask friends who've known me more than a year. or read the above warning. injustice riles me. injustice against women and children makes me burst my capillaries.

opinionated feminist, i am. not the bra-burning type. what a waste of good money. i like sexy lingerie. i embrace my sexuality and the fact that i am a woman and can make a man go down on his knees if i wanna. if he be good good boy, i'd go down on mine. ;) but i can be macho too. hurhurhur. more macho than three-quarters the guys i know. pussies, all. and i'd stick a red-hot cilipadi paste-coated iron-rod the size of texas up his asshole if he's behaving like a bloody CUNT. comprende? (;) can anyone say Graphic, again?)

back to south-african papers. i digressed real far there :P

i am reminded AGAIN. somebody tell WHY am i doing what i'm doing again? i shoulda gone and studied anthropology, or anything in the social sciences. would probably have been better suited for that. oh! yeah.... i forgot. malaysian social norm of the late 90s then. generational conflict, urbanisation (in this case, the advent of globalisation), technological development (or rather the PROMISE of it), changing masculinities and gender issues, the POSSIBILITY of homeland construction (the taxpayer-friendly results of which, leaves much to be desired... oops! i meant to say, optimistically remains to be seen *smiles politically correctly and saccharine-sweetly*) at the turn of Malaysian 21st century.

silly me. how could i forget. :)

what happened? they say life got in the way. why fight it when you can join it. cynicism and bitterness comes with age. wisdom does not. neither does maturity.

i should start applying for government jobs now. oh wait!!! they only reply you THREE years later... EARLIEST. and then they send u off to far-off places....

my ovaries would be totally fried by then. oh!! wait... there's always transactional sex, right?

Chicago

watching Chicago with the girls today :) yay!!

will blog about that next week :) if work doesn't get in the way :(

high school

:D went on discussion board for STS' alumni on what was it we miss about school most:

here are some which i had ALMOST forgotten....:

1. band practice (STS band rawked!)

2. school library (yeah, we had some REALLY INTERESTING books there :P)

3. climbing over St Jude's gate when they locked it in order to go to St Joe Parish tuition (HAHAHA!! GUILTY!!! lihai lehhh... in pinafore skirts some more... *rolls eyes* damn tomboy, i know :P)

4. St Jude's Maggie Mee curry with egg. Very sedap and unique taste, I'm still trying to get the same taste for my own Maggie mee curry. (OMG... YAAAA.....)

5. The lab storeroom where they stored preserved fetuses. That's what got me hyped about biology and ended up doing vet med. Yeah, I'm a sadist. (OMG... YARRRRRRRRRRR AGAIN! we had the COOLEST bio lab shit ever!)

6. Canteen's Sarawak laksa. Bloody damn sedap and cheap too. And also the mee soup. (:D YESH... and Mee Jawa too, i think. STS' canteen food pwnts SJS' anyday :P:P:P)

7. going to toilet with a special key (:P don't ask why, we also dunno. prolly so girls don't stuff used pads down the toilet and block up the entire sewerage system of the toilet block. yah. we had toilet BLOCKS :P)

8. The 'haunted' school hall back staircase! LOL! (yeah... all the ghost stories :P)

9. The beautiful school grounds with all the trees.. falling leaves (very autumn-ish) and all that! (OMG... yessss..... i still have dreams of going back to school when the leaves are falling, and walking the school grounds with it's up hills and down hills. like i used to do every morning yonks ago...)

10. The classrooms which were never too sunny.. and from the top floor, if you were lucky, you could actually see squirrels! (squirrels, birds, and hordes of other things :P)

11. First Fridays, because classes would start late (MUAHAHAHA... and those Days of Obligation, etc. etc. i know non-catholics (*coff*psycho!*coff*) who would suddenly be catholic for a day :P

12. summerhouse's ice kacang (by the 3 sisters. old fashioned, cooked with charcoal... YUMMMMM.... they don't have it anymore :()

13. playing board games on the LAST day of exams/school (and a lot of other made-up games to entertain ourselves :P)

14. choral speaking :P

15. the colourful teachers.

16. Old St. Mike's. (for kolomee and cui kiao :D)

that's what i missed as mentioned on the discussion board.

these are mine that weren't mentioned:

17. opening the merit-demerit book on the first day of school and seeing this:
dilarang berdua-duaan di kawasan perkarangan sekolah, gereja, dan perkuburan gereja. mata demerit: 10 markah (? or was it 20 markah? whatever. it was A LOT ok, for berdua-duaan! :P)

18. having a class more than 50% prefects.... and all BLOODY CORRUPTED to boot. :P *pssstttt..... spotcheck! keep the things!* LOL!

19. hiding liquid papers, CDs, and all manner of illegal stuff behind the boards at the back of the class, and the old blackboards in front.

20. being in a reallllyyyyy oooooolllllllddddddd school. u can smell the history seeping from the halls and stairways :) and the moveable double blackboards. :P that's the only reason i watch Harry Potter movies :P it reminds me of the la sallian brothers, franciscan sisters and british education system which our own is based on. even more so back home, and in a convent school like STS. :)

21. working on the school mag with davi, marg and siew ling. that's english and bm editors for u :)

22. annoying the fuck out of our teachers. making one particular one cry in primary 5. ok, not proud of it. but he was a MAJOR ASS.

23. creating jingles..... like: on top of spaghetti... all covered with cheese..... or: batman!!! walkin' down the highway, car came the other way, FLATMAAAANNNNN!!!! :D

24. the pencil family.

25. paper hangman, and those games where we divided a paper into columns labelled: countries, names, cities, famous people, animals, etc. 98 girls would know what i'm talking about ;) man, we were nerds/geeks. :P and proud of it!

26. creating ridiculous stories.

27. burping competitions in class. C/JJ were probably the undisputed queens of the burp!

28. having a fascination and endless conversations on GI Joe, Transformers, Saber Rider from 9-12, Aladdin from 12-14, X-Files from 14-our early 20s, archaelogy (especially Egyptian) from 13-18? *rolls eyes* definitely tomboys, we were :P

29. wearing shorts underneath our pinafores.

30. hanging-out at the church compound after school.

31. the sense of school pride. :) yeah, elitist somewhat, but i can't help it. A Teresian once, a Teresian for life! it was, after all, what forged and formed my identity.

32. the life-long friendships we forged for life. :) that's priceless, girls. it really is. XOXOXO. wherever we will go. however far we would move away from home and each other. there'll always be a bond between us. :) a toast to my sisters!

anything else? :) can't think of anymore right now. and it's time to go home :D

online food diary?

it is only called failure when you learnt nothing from it.

**

blog's coloured again. i wonder where all my old blogpics are. :)

planning to go on a proper diet and exercise regime. gonna hit 30 before i know it, which also means metabolism is gonna be slowing down. would no longer be able to pull off the 2 Whopper Burger King Sets in one sitting anymore. :P yeah, that's still legend among those who know in the Kuching crowd. There were witnesses. :P

sooo.... should i blog about my eating habits then? O.o but but.... paisehhhhh worrrr..... *shy* that's like letting the whole world know i'm a GLUTTON. :P i mean, they're gonna find out when they do... but... i need not Announce it, yes? Yes?

i DID try it once. yerdeh was shocked at the amount i was able to consume. @.@

sighs. i'll sleep on it.

customize customize

on a customization spreeeeee..........

on another note: i is very the brokums this month *sniffles*
sighs.

early morning breaking news

i reached work today, and the first thing i saw while waiting for the lift:

the news:
"Make more babies, Chinese told."

The Chinese are told to have more children to increase the dwindling population.

My reaction: O.O
Then: -.-
Then: >:(

Of course, I probably didn't remember that verbatim, but I definitely got the essence of it.

Now I'm not sure which moron politician (yep, don't have much respect for politicians, especially local ones. there's in fact a book on the 'fantastic things' local politicians say, costs about RM20 from Kino, btw) said that, but I wanna shoot out the person's nads.

to explain my reactions:

O.O: WHICH IDIOT WOULD SAY THAT?
-.-: WHY would anyone say that? our population is increasing every year. (overall pop. that is, some ppl beranak twice a year and have like 9-15 kids in one family. wat.... i'm not kidding, i've seen it. just recently, too.)
>:(: and WHO is gonna pay for the cost of bringing up scads of babies?!

i'm in my mid-twenties. i have a relatively stable job. it pays, well, enough. but i have NO intention of having babies at least in the next 3-5 years. 'cos i don't think i can AFFORD to bring up one in the manner or fashion or lifestyle (whichever ur poison) i'd like he/she to be accustomed too. and i'm still striving for MY own personal satisfaction. i still want my freedom. my independence. having babies is A LOTTA HARD WORK. and personal sacrifice. yep. i love babies. it's a mutual fascination, babies and i. i'd love to have one when i'm ready. operative word here: READY. but i've got both my feet planted on terra firma. babies are expensive. babies require constant supervision. babies take up a lot of time and effort.

having babies is difficult. and a full-time job. so why don't that smart-aleck go have 10 babies of his/her own, then. memandai-mandai. let's see if said genius would still be singing the same tune after baby no. 10. (yep, by then, he/she woulda forgotten the names. like chinese families of old. tua hia, ji hia, sa hia, and so on and so forth. malay families, too, no? along, angah, adik. i don't speak tamilian, so i wouldn't know about indian families. but i'm sure they have their equivalent.)

and it doesn't help that being, well, chinese, i'm considered unimportant, and overlooked by the local governance. if my grades in school were given the opportunity it should've been given, well, i wouldn't be here now. but let's not talk about me. my point is that, if i'm gonna be having babies, i want them to have a better life than i do. not that my life is bad, mind, but it could be better. i would want them to have choices i never had. i understand my parents POV in pushing me to extremes academically. they think academia could get me farther than anything else could. i'm not sure they're right, but i understand it, at least. it's that same desire that i have for future children. a better state of living.

there's a reason chinese people have relatively small families. one, two, three kids. cap it. it's a matter of quality, not quantity. household income of appox. RM70K-RM80K per annum, both parents working, children to put through school with a quality education, inclusive of at least a bachelor's degree in mind. all with the parent's own savings. just in case. don't depend on someone else. how to afford having 5 children? have you seen how expensive baby formula can be? or babies' clothing? one of those little things can buy me 3 tops at least.

yeah, i know what you're gonna say... OMG U THINK THAT FAR? yes, i do. gotta plan for the future, innit?

ok, fine. cos since i hit 18, i don't have much faith in men, and i considered being a single mother. as in, go for sperm donation, either in stick or bottle form. :P

cos i wanna be mommy, not necessarily wifey. meaning, i can envision myself a mother, but trouble envisioning myself a wife.

so i was planning on being a mother (man optional) and i wondered how long it would take to build up my fortune before i can afford to bring up a child comfortably on my own. that's how i thought that far. :P

i really wish people in positions of power would stop making comments without thinking. what they say will be put in print. and seen the world over. saying things like: 'Apa bising pasal bocor-bocor ni? MP Batu Gajah pun bocor tiap-tiap bulan' is downright CRASS la. seriously.

of birdies, sex, conversations, solitude and treehouses.

this was supposed to be posted up last week, but i was busy:

stressed. hence endless blogging.

2 things.

i love messing with PB's mind :D it's FUN. especially when she's already loopy cos she's having one of her very rare red tides :P which induced the idiot to wear white peeptoes to work. breaking it in, she says. right. breaking the blisters and feet too, apparently.

how do i do that? easy. fritz her out by talking about taboo things. i.e. S.E.X.
as for my previous blogpost about liking to be alone, i don't have time to write it all out, but i did mention it in the conversation. so me being a lazy ass, am just gonna paste it out here.

well, in my defense, she DID annoy me first :P

PB: boo
me: yo bitch
PB: u going fer lunchie?
me: nawps
tapaoed
PB: ic. my feet hurt
me: kl food sux royal asscock
FROM WHAT?
PB: the shoes lor
me: OH NOOOOOO
nonononononono
oh noes
not again, makcik
PB: sigh i got to do the sticky thingy again
me: aiyoyoyos
hmmmph
wat u being vain n wore it to WORK?
Sent at 11:55 on Friday
PB: had to 'open' it.
wore it for shopping last nite to try
then got blisters. now i patched myself up n trying to loosen it by wearing it
me: okies
another excuse for being VAIN
PB: told u period making me loopy.
me: j got booted off to bw
she working for *** now
PB: ahahahahahahahahahahaha
me: texted me this morning to tell me that n to ask me what to do
she knows no one
etc
PB: aww.
jy is there
me: i told her that
PB: take it as independence
me: she din know that
yeah
is it just me who actually LIKES going to new places ALONE?
i like the liberating feeling
the solitude
PB: nah. U and ME
me: the loneliness
ahh ok
PB: muahahaha
me: now THAT is one reason we hang so well although we so diff
not many ppl like leaving the comforts of home i guess
PB: dun get all sappy on me now
me: i'm not
u just might KISS me. u being loopy n all
LOL
PB: *middle finger*
me: now if we gonna do some kissing n shit, we need a digicam. and plenty of boys. might as well get em all hornied up
u might get laid, n i definitely will
:P i'm a fantastic kisser :P dun u worry. HAHAHAHA
PB: .....................................i think u just fried a circuit
red alert
me: lol
what?
meaning?
thought i ALWAYS fry circuits red alert
Sent at 12:02 on Friday
PB: this is oe of the occasions
i'm bored. n hungry. n bored. got piles of work but couldnt be bothered
me: go eat la bitch
:)
wat time dinner?
PB: ooo slight cramps too. starange feeling this is..
me: :P stupid
LOL
PB: i plan cabut early
but my bro hp rosak
me: now u amplify those 1000 times n u get my pain then u know how i feel before passing out n having huge ass needle up my butt
PB: so hav to wait he call me
me: ok.
cabuts early anyways
Sent at 12:07 on Friday
PB: i know
joy. as long as mc devils dun call
me: pull out the phone lines
wahahahahahha
PB: funny. they have my hp
me: oh
throw it against a wall
say it fell down 20 flights of stairs
PB: well, its kinda MINE...
company phone i would have doen t ages ago
me: well. u do that u can have excuse buy new phone :P
no? no? *twinkly eyes*
PB: man u're good
me: :D
PB: which brings me to my other dilema
me: mmhmmmm?:D
PB: my bro hp rosak. if cant fix, need to buy new phone
me: ok, so keep the phone :P
u got excuse buy new one
PB: but there isnt one in the market that does what i want it o except the N95
which is a shitload to pay for a hp
n glorified toy
me: hmmmmmmmmmm
i dunno then
my needs are simple
unlike urs
something i can textsex, phonesex, mmssex with.
fullstop :P
waits for it.....
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Sent at 12:16 on Friday
PB: @$%&@*$^$#(%^*# ............*fritz*.........now u got my circuits
me: sometimes i just say things for ur reaction
LOL!
PB: i know...yet i keep falling for it
me: :)
sucker :D
PB: oh can i
an it
can it
omg, i is soooo d bad with typing
me: no shit....
PB: i'm so bored this is not even funny
me: sighs
let's argue about something again then
PB: not THAT bored.........
me: heheh
then i dunno
go read blogs
ermmmm
watch porn
Sent at 12:33 on Friday
PB: porn at the ofs??
u really have no scrupels (sp?)
me: scruples
nope
PB: figures
me: :P
u ARE bored
well, not like i watch porn in office la
i amuse myself with quizzes instead
PB: i bet u do
me: or softporn stories :P
i dont watch porn
:P
maybe i should. watch it with the boy
steal some ideas :P
PB: ah ha!
u read it
......tmi
me: read what?
PB: buy the karma sutra
me: softporn? yep. never mine though
but i never read it at work
PB: bull shit la
i'm looking at MY equavilent of porn.....hp websites
me: serious lah
i dont :P
i read blogs :P
PB: with soft porn on it
me: nope
:P i go on facebook n play warbook
Sent at 12:46 on Friday
PB: n send naughty gifts
PB: gt you mind out of the gutter.....
me: yeah. that's why i dont pick up smoking. prolly cant stop man
:D I LOVE shocking u
muahahahahahahaaaa
Sent at 12:51 on Friday
PB: if u r obsessive compulsive maybe
Sent at 12:52 on Friday
me: i do have OCD wat
u know that
just not like urs la
:P

PB: the fold yo $ into the proper size before puttign it in your wallet. now u r being blur on purpose to make me pisssed off so i will shut up now. n keep my sanity
*flash birdie
me: ya, i get wat u talking. but wat about it???? haiyo
PB: *falls dead on the floor. u were saying u r obsessive complusive so i stated that as n example!!!!!
me: owhhh
sorry. mind was elsewhere
:P
tracy: omg..............u can be so.....so....so.....aaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhh
FUCK U.
me: yeah mind was down someone's pants :D
what do u think of slow afternoon fucks? or lunchtime quickies? :P
PB: is there a stronger word for fuck? cause it just doesnt have the same sting no more
me: dunno
screw
?
i know... we say it so often... it's abused beyond ones
PB: totaly up to the individual n i could not care less.
me: horny as fuck. silly as fuck. dumb as fuck. crazyfuck.
how did words end up ones? hmmm
my bad
PB: now that u r indeed.
..................................
i need n exasparated emoticon right about now
me: how about :/
:D
i just LURVE annoying the FUCK outta u :D
esp when u're wearing white peeptoe HEELS to WORK
:D
Sent at 13:13 on Friday
tracy: ;/
:///////
:////////////////////////////////
me: muaxxxx
me eez loves u too
Sent at 13:24 on Friday
PB: *birdie
Sent at 13:26 on Friday
me: :D
go play with quizzes, babydoll
Sent at 13:29 on Friday

yup... she is so gonna kill me for not taking the liberty to correct her spelling :D

oh btw, few things to set straight:
1. she gives me too much credit when it comes to my horniness.... i'm sure :P
2. i DID get huge ass needles stuck into my butt. several times. muscle relaxants. got hospitalised for it, too. observation, they said. the pill is a GODSEND.
3. i LOVE annoying her, and frying her circuits.
4. her trademark is the birdie. and obsession with a certain kind of *ahem*.
5. her birdie is a sign of affection. it's her way of saying: 'i love you'. she has issues with expressing affection. :P
6. i say FUCK wayyyyy too often :P

if i don't blog tomorrow.... means the birdiegirl ate me for dinner....... :P

please look for my remains at YAGCentral, KL... ok? make sure u ship whatever remains are left back to Borneo where my orang utans are. as a tombstone, i want a treehouse, as befits a Borneoan, yar? Apt, duncha think?

change of template

YES!! FINALLY had time to change the template of my blog. :P

a lot easier now, too. hmmm... and a lot quicker. :D

my blog is now COWWORFOOOLLLLLL!!! (colourful, la... that's my lame attempt at being cute-miut, comel-lote, u know what i mean)

however, much to my mortification, i found that i have STUPIDLY deleted my old template, meaning, i lost a lot of my links *shamefaced* ARGHHHSSSSS.... best part is that i don't even remember when that happened. i could go look through the html i saved one by one at home, but i seriously haven't the time, at least for the next month or so. so all the newly-added links are from memory. :P those i missed out, please drop me an email, and i'd add it. :D

ahh well...

i got a new keyboard!! a whole lot less noisy. and the letterings aren't faded. AND it runs a LOT smoother. black in colour, too.... YAY!!! whoever created the black-coloured keyboard has gotta be a man :P probably to hide the spunk from late-night porn. white stains more easily. then again, maybe not. whatever :P

got several blogs written fully in my head. unfortunately, as usual, i is too lazy. and too busy (*sniffs* had to go to work on a sunday :() to type it all down. i need to be a student/bum again to blog the way i used to :P

i'm having one of my protein cravings again. XD other chicks crave for chocs and sweets and desserts.... i crave for dimsum, late night sausages (the food, u damned perv!), bakuteh, salted-egg crabs..... u get the idea. sighs....

HOW TO DROP MY WEIGHT LIDDAT?!

dickbrained fucktards

i remember now WHY i can't go out with angmohkia....

this is an excellent reason:
http://www.asiaone.com/Digital/News/Story/A1Story20071031-33370.html

here is the ensuing google chat conversation between a friend and i:

Friend: check ou the email i just sent u. u'll hate the fuckers forever.
me: what fuckers?
singaporeans?
Sent at 14:34 on Friday
me: dickheads
Sent at 14:40 on Friday
Friend: brits
bullying old man
me: yeah
dickheads
Friend: in singpore
me: hooligans indeed
this is where football hooliganism comes in
Friend: man now i remember why i dun wan marry ang moh.
still want some of that asian fillial respects in my kids
me: yeah. this is why i can never date angmoh too.
asian values la
Sent at 14:44 on Friday
Friend: a society that doesnt mind the kids saying fuck u mom is just unacceptable.
me: yeah
i'd brush my babies' mouths out with the rough edge of a coconut if they ever say that to me
chi liao bi
Friend: gap toothed basards - now seems like a phenotypic manifestation of genetic inadiquacies
Sent at 14:46 on Friday
Friend: memang chi lio bi. and they not sorry for it again.
Sent at 14:47 on Friday
me: who else is gap toothed?
ya man! that was what pissed me off the MOST
at least be apologetic
cibaikias

yeah, my friend can't spell very well :P (she'd kill me for this) but yeah, we can finish each other's sentences.

but really, those damn fucktards. there's something to be said about respecting people who have sacrificed for the community you live in. at least have some respect for people. even if he weren't a senior citizen. would you have liked someone else to do that to you? it's true, y'know: Do not do unto others what you would not like others to do unto you.

Seriously. What's becoming of the world?

personality disorder quiz

i swear i've done this before, but what the hell....

hmmm.... antisocial. and ppl say i'm bubbly. riiiight. maybe i'm just so used to masquerades. SMILE, dammit.... though i'd rather chop ur cock off...... u get the picture.

also probably explains why the idea of taking off alone to far-off places appeal to me so damn much. i actually like the feeling of solitude and being utterly alone in a city of 1 billion. sometimes. don't ask me why. i can't explain it. stillness and loneliness are my best friends. i've gotten so used to them. and i still think like a single girl. sighs. someone's not gonna be too happy about that. but i can't help how i feel at times.

but here's the quiz result. story would come later.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Pantheress?

LoL. I just might take this down after this week. :P

Your Score: The pink pantheress

You are 95% sweet, 75% playful, 70% fearless and 40% dominant.

Sweet. Catlike. Somewhat kinky. You are a reference in term of sexuality. You love to play, and to make your partner play with you. Be careful not to be played too much. You have high skills, but also a great imagination. Maybe you consider sex as an art in itself. All we can do is to envy the people who have the chance to spend one night in your bed. However, finding your perfect match is not that easy, since you require a dominant, but yet sweet and gifted partner.

Consider: The bonobo
Avoid: The big cock


Explaination of the variables. You are:

Sweet: If you like to do sweet things, and care for your partner.
Playful: If you are imaginative and like to play together with your partner.
Fearless: If you like to try new things and you are not afraid of what people think about you.
Dominant: If you take the lead most of the time.

Have a look at the other animals:

The donkey
The big cock
The pig
The bull
The nasty kitten
The mantis
The tigress
The lion
The fluffy bunny
The panda bear
The she-wolf
The ram
The puppy
The dalmatian
The bonobo

Link: The which sex animal are you? Test written by GuillaumeC on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My test tracked the following 4 variables.
You scored higher than 90% on sweet:


You scored higher than 81% on playful:


You scored higher than 74% on fearless:


You scored higher than 37% on dominant:

>:(

i don't go on warbook much. well, cos i'm not a gaming person to start with. i have my reasons which i'd elaborate later. and also because i've been fucking-busy-no-time-to-breathe-shit-tired-when-i-get-home kinda busy these two months.

so yeah, i'm easy target on warbook. i didn't log on for weeks until i had so much gold, my friend actually sent me a message on msn asking for some. lol.

my acreage was puny too, so i was REALLY pissed when i finally logged in to send gold to some friends, and found my sorry-ass kingdom attacked left, right and center.

ok, this called for remedial action. told my friend i had to beef up my defenses, which i did, upped my defense score several thousand fold, and built me some barracks and forts. sonovabitches just u assholes wait :P

damn... THIS is why i don't game lah. sighs.

couldnt give a shit about my attacking ability cos i had no intention to log into warbook that often.

that was a week back. last night i went yumchar with friends, and 90% of the time, they talked about was warbook :P so i thought, today i'd log in and send gold to some friends.

today i came in, and i had levelled up without kicking anyone's ass. cos i was attacked. thank god for good defenses.

what i thought was fucking pond-scum low though, was someone whose acreage was waaaayyyyyyyy more than mine picking on me 3 times in a morning by 1100 hours. twice is fine. three times is asking for it. woiii.... LOW lah. pick someone your own size, u goddamned fucker.

>:( gonna max out my spells and do a boundary shift on the bastard tomorrow. then next day i'm gonna fireball him, next day, boundary shift him again, earthquake him, and boundary shift him one more time. 5 days in a row. see how fast he can build up again. don't mess with a bitch. LOW LOW LOW. i can play diiiiirrrrrrty too.

why don't i game? cos when i watched the fireball rip through the other dude's lands, with the knowledge that none of my men had to die, there was this funny, familiar, forgotten feeling coming over me.... it's called an adrenaline rush. yes, i like it. yes, it's addictive. it's SCARY. i get hooked on it. it's exhilarating. especially when it's bloody justified.

yeah it's just a game. THAT'S WHY I DON'T PLAY IT! what am i afraid of? ME. :P Like ciggies, pot, alcohol, sex and chocolate. Addictive. Let's not go there.

work, cats, people....

it's Tuesday, and my work is still stuck. damn, this sucks.

and i couldn't make that trip North for nothing.

moving to a houseful of cats. there are 3 new month-old kittens i have to help look after :) with pleasure. they're adorable! damn cute :D one is going for a mind-boggling 4000 Euros. hotdamn...

the cantor asked me to move into MPM's room, maybe next year. i'm kinda torn, cos i've kinda committed to this one. guess we'll just have to see. when he told me, though, the thought of moving into a room-ful of memories now, strangely affects me only about as much as moving into a room previously lived in by cats :P

that's when it struck me: it's so over :) i was so relieved. and i would be lying if i didn't say the realisation filled me with joy :)

all's well that end's well, i suppose.

the psycho bought herself some new stuff. my reaction: O.O aiiii-jjjoooooooorrrrrrrrr!!!!!! and she's waxing horny lyrical over phones..... i need to find her a man. quick! she's having orgasms over communication devices' user interfaces.... *rolls eyes*

i swear we'd be an old married couple if we both didn't like men so much. or at least, the aesthetic beauty of the male body/apparatus.

i cook, she cleans. she sweeps, i'd mop. we'd be sitting in her car, and she'd take the parking ticket, n i'd immediately reach for it, n put it in a particular compartment in her purse. n wind up the window. no exchange of words. then when she parks, i'd remember to make sure she DID lock the car. cos she's OCD like that :P

it'd always end up:
*parks, gets out*
*walks a few steps, she turns around* I locked the car, right?
*me, doesn't stop walking* You locked the car.
Ok, thanks.

:P

this was what a friend said to another friend: they're so different from each other ya? to which the friend replied: ya, they're so different. don't know how they became good friends. :P

seriously, u know u've known someone WAAAAAYYYYY too long when they can text u one saturday at mid-day, thus: (and i quote verbatim) Hey bum, u done wankg? Wana go lunch or sumwhr?

*ROLLS EYES*

known someone for way too long and way too well indeed. :P I swear sometimes familiarity breeds contempt!!

Pacemaker

Thursday, 25.10.2007. 2151 hours.

My aunt is going on the pacemaker tomorrow. She fainted and her heart just stopped beating.

When mami called and I spoke to her, she sounded so different. So weak. So frail. So unlike the woman I so vividly remembered from my youth.

She was so vivacious, so energetic. Always so full of vitality, spirit. She always looked and acted way younger than her 62 years. Even last month, when I spoke to her, she still had that spark. That laughter in her voice.

How different that now she sounded like she was at death's door already, and I felt so lost for words. How to comfort her? How to make her smile? Her husband passed away when I was 18 from kidney failure. Her youngest boy is only a year older than I. She worries about him still. What can I say to make her feel better?

Here is a woman of strength, who still managed to build a substantially successful business and send her 3 children to Australia on a Form 3 education, who became Lion's Club President in a male-dominated small town.

Who stood up for her daughter when she felt her daughter was being put down, and she needed her. Who put up with me when I visited my grandmother alone.

I feel bereft already. Mami always did say I was more like her sister than I was like her. Rooster women, she said. Rooster women were strong. Rooster women were ambitious. Rooster women had fire. Rooster women don't give up.

I sure hope so. I pray to God that's true. She's too young. Not like this anyway. Not like this.

Asphyxiated Exhibit

Thursday, 25.10.2007. 1838 hours.

Today I felt as though I were a museum exhibit on display.

To be stared at, prodded, gawked at, quizzed about.

I know it's just the paranoia in me, but I couldn't help feeling like that.

I'm unused to unsolicited attention.

First by my friends, then by his friends.

Add the frustration of going nowhere with my stalled work, and the SLP being downright abrasive, and I felt ready to implode.

My privacy and my stagefright are probably two of several of my well-kept secrets.

Since both are going to ashes, I might as well come clean with them.

Like I told J around this time last year, though among my schoolmates (J's one of them), I was a known retired public-speaker, what they didn't know was how I'd break out in cold cold sweat, and my hands would shake each time I go out on stage. My father's training, and later my own public-speaking taught me to hide that initial nervousness. And obviously I learnt to do it well enough for people to not notice.

It's the same with my privacy. Behind the aggressive behaviour, the crazy laughter and the psychotic smile, I'm actually a very shy and intensely private person. I've trained myself to blush less. To ignore certain things. Yes, I'm used to a certain amount of attention. Doesn't mean I like all of it. Which is why I try to protect my privacy as much as possible. At least the innermost sanctuary where my many multiple personalities dwell. What's private to me, may not be private to someone else. To each their own.

I keep plenty of things close to my chest, I dislike laying down all my cards at once on the table to a person. Until I trust the person enough, am comfortable enough with sharing.

I dislike my private space disturbed. Few people know where I stay, even less are allowed into my room. Some call it anal, some call it freaky, but I like it that way. I make no apologies for my quirks.

My thoughts are even more so. I'm annoyed especially, with the SLP because he's an Extremely Invasive Man. Some things people just don't wanna tell you. Don't push it already. It's intrusive. A Transvaginal Ultrasound Scan plus Cervical Pap Smear is preferable to some of his choicest questions. For instance: "How can your father know everything. You mean he even knows who and how many men you had sex with?" This was less than a month from meeting him. And in front of colleagues to boot. I was so angry I could combust. No, I didn't. But the day I leave, I'm gonna tell him he's one obnoxious, snotty, irritating, egocentric little little asshole of a man. For now, it's 'Ignore Everything, Say Nothing.' Well, I can try. :(

To be asked so many private questions by so many people all at once, to then have my decision questioned at every turn, to later have a private conversation observed by others made me feel downright naked when I'm not ready to be. The unsolicited attention was enough to make me feel as though my private sanctum was intruded. Invaded. Without my permission. And then ransacked. I couldn't help getting my defenses up. It was a reflex defensive mechanism after all. And being used to standing up for myself and looking after my own interests on my own for the most part of my life, yes, I was downright defensive. And aggressively so.

I know I'm insane. Among other things. 'Prickly porcupine'. 'Cactus'. 'Seahorse'. 'More male than female'. 'Shrew'. An oxymoron. A walking contradiction. Anal, paranoid bitch. Psychotic, neurotic weirdo. :( I'm sorry. I make no excuses for all that.

No one owns the market on insecurities.

I'm trying. Learning to finally let go of my hang-ups, insecurities and plenty of little eccentricities, and then finally, and slowly, learning how to share my life so closely with another individual frightens me. It's difficult. At least for me.

I'm so used to being alone. I LIKE being alone. Independence is something I greatly appreciate. Having to answer to as little people as possible. That type of freedom to do what I want, when I want it. Behave however the fuck I want to. However the fuck I like. And the devil can fly with public opinion. Up yours, you know. Within the borderline norm of civic behaviour, of course.

Now I have to learn how to be a GIRL. Dammit. This isn't easy. Not for me, it's not. I was brought up to be with more boys than girls. To be more like a boy. To think like one, too. It was a counter-offensive measure.

Because girls, sadly, in the larger community, is treated more like a liability than an asset. Because in the larger scheme of things here, women are secondary to men. Dispensable. That's the ugly truth.

I would have liked that people could think that although men and women are equal, we are NOT the same. Men and women are made to complement one another. But it doesn't mean that women are all that different from men. Sigh.

I'm the female who told a guy in university who whined about women being difficult to understand and difficult to live with that: A hole is a hole to you, right? So if women are that difficult, go settle down with a pinata la!!

Fine. I'm aggressive when I get my defenses up. :( No one likes the truth being thrust in their faces, I suppose. Yes, damn macho. :(

Being a girl. I wonder if I could do that. This is worse than being given 1 week to study for a Physics exam. At least there, only I would get hurt if I fail. :(

I know this news is THE bomb, Myocardial Infarction-worthy. It being a first, it's a novelty, too. But I'm trying to get used to this whole idea myself. Still currently trying to slowly feel my way. Groping half-blind in the half-dark, in a way.

Cut me some slack, people. I'm not a lab specimen. I'm not a goldfish living in a fishbowl. Give me some room to breathe. Please. I feel asphyxiated.

Fertility

the reasons i'm pasting these articles up is because The Independent archives their articles after awhile. and i want this for my own reference :P

but anyway, i remember some people asking about IVF and infertility treatments, so well, so i thought this would be easy reference.

it's so hard to get pregnant sometimes. i remember a former colleague of mine go through hell just to get a baby :( it's sad.

i have mixed feelings about all these new technologies, IVF, ICSI, and now this. i remember doing an attachment at a fertility clinic and seeing a woman who was 36 weeks pregnant coming in for a follow-up scan. 2 more weeks, and the baby would be ready for delivery. but the baby came up with bilateral pleural effusion and its complications (compression on the heart, etc.) the gynae performed a shunt immediately, but the baby died a few days later anyway. yeah, the baby was a result of infertility treatment.

being out of the medical line now, i guess i forget how fragile humanity can sometimes be. and yet, in the medical line, facing death and decay everyday, sometimes you get desensitized to it. just another body. just another death. how does one strike a balance sometimes?

***

A cheap, painless alternative to IVF?

Breakthrough in fertility treatment as first British babies are born using new technique

By Jeremy Laurance, Health Editor

Published: 25 October 2007

A landmark in the development of fertility treatment was announced by doctors yesterday with the birth of the first babies to be conceived using a revolutionary technique that offers a safer, cheaper alternative to IVF.

The twin boy and girl, who were born on 18 October at the Radcliffe Infirmary in Oxford, were conceived using In Vitro Maturation (IVM), a method that dispenses with the use of costly fertility drugs, saving up to £1,500 on the normal price of treatment.

The technique is also safer for the one in three women among those seeking fertility treatment who have polycystic ovaries, a condition that puts them at high risk of dangerous side effects from fertility drugs.

Specialists said the development could make in vitro techniques available to more infertile couples by cutting the cost of treatment. Infertility is estimated to affect one in six couples in the UK but IVF costs around £5,000 a cycle and treatment is restricted on the NHS.

Tim Child, a consultant gynaecologist at the Oxford Fertility Clinic and senior fellow in reproductive medicine at Oxford University, who led the work, said: "I think it is a safer, cheaper alternative to IVF for all women. However, for many women the success rates are currently much lower. Research in the future will address this."

The Oxford Fertility Clinic is the only one in the UK licensed to use the technique: 20 cycles of treatment have been carried out and four other women are currently pregnant, giving a pregnancy rate of 25 per cent. This is expected to improve with further experience. In addition, without the need for drugs, repeating the procedure would be less taxing on the woman. For standard IVF, the Oxford clinic's pregnancy rate is 45 per cent.

The parents of the babies, who have asked to remain anonymous, were delighted, Mr Child said. At birth the boy, born first, weighed 6lb 11oz and the girl weighed 5lb 14oz. "The parents are ecstatic. They have got absolutely stunning twins. They went home on Tuesday to start their new life together. It is wonderful."

In standard IVF, the woman takes fertility drugs for five weeks to stimulate production of her eggs, which are then collected direct from her ovaries under the guidance of ultrasound, before being fertilised in the laboratory. The drugs cost between £600 and £1,500, with charges often higher in London.

The procedure is time consuming and uncomfortable and for the third of women with polycystic ovaries there is a one in 10 risk of severe ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome, a dangerous side-effect that in rare cases can prove fatal.

IVM avoids the use of drugs and instead involves collecting eggs from the ovaries while they are still immature. The eggs are then grown in the laboratory for 24 to 48 hours before being fertilised and replaced in the womb.

Mr Child said: "The main advantage is improved safety for women. Women with polycystic ovaries have a one in 10 chance of severe ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. IVM completely takes away that risk. IVF is also expensive. With IVM the cost is reduced, meaning it could become a more accessible form of fertility treatment."

The technique was pioneered by the University of McGill in Montreal, Canada, where Mr Child spent two years researching and developing it before joining the University of Oxford in 2004. It has also been used in Seoul, South Korea, and Scandinavia. To date about 400 babies have been born worldwide using IVM compared with around two million by IVF.

At present the Oxford Fertility Clinic is only offering the treatment to women with polycystic ovaries, but in the long term Mr Child said he hoped to offer the procedure to all women. "When we see patients we say these are the options and it is up to them to decide. We are not offering it to women with normal ovaries at present because we don't get enough eggs from them. It depends on the number of resting follicles and with normal ovaries you don't get so many.

"On average we get four eggs from a woman with normal ovaries compared with 16 from one with polycystic ovaries. The procedure involves a process of attrition – two-thirds mature and two-thirds of those fertilise – so you need a decent number to start with."

Research on developing the culture medium in which the eggs are matured in the laboratory could reduce the attrition rate so that fewer eggs are needed. The technique could then become suitable for women with normal ovaries, Mr Child said.

A second drawback of the procedure was that eggs grown in culture had a harder outer shell than those matured in the ovary and were more difficult for sperm to penetrate. The eggs had to be fertilised by ICSI – injecting a single sperm directly into the egg. "We hope to develop the culture medium so the egg doesn't mind being grown in the laboratory and we can use ordinary insemination [mixing eggs and sperm so fertilisation occurs naturally]. But in most IVF clinics, 50 per cent of patients are treated with ICSI anyway," he said.

A spokesman for the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority said IVF was expensive for most couples and a minority got treatment on the NHS. But it was too soon to tell whether IVM would replace IVF.

"Anything that reduces the cost of IVF, provided it is safe, means treatment could be available to more people. But this is an emerging technology – it is very early days. The most important thing is that patients get proper information so that they can make a decision on what is best for themselves."

~The Independent, 25 October 2007 14:11~

A revolution in the making - now it's up to the scientists

By Jeremy Laurance, Health Editor

Published: 25 October 2007

Over the past 25 years around two million babies have been born by IVF around the world. Yet the technique has always suffered from a major drawback – it meant dosing the woman with powerful drugs to stimulate her ovaries to produce extra eggs.

No one wants to be pounding their body with powerful drugs. It is uncomfortable, time consuming and costly, as well as dangerous for women with polycystic ovaries – one in three of those in fertility treatment.

If there is a safe way of avoiding the drugs but which achieves the same results, it would be welcomed by thousands of women. It is too soon to declare In-Vitro Maturation (IVM) the answer to their prayers. But it is a significant step in the right direction.

Avoiding the use of powerful drugs would bring a second important benefit – reducing the cost of treatment by at least 20 per cent off the average price of £5,000 per cycle. Cost is a major barrier for thousands of infertile couples denied treatment on the NHS – they cannot afford to go private and lose the chance to have a family.

The major shortcoming with IVM is its low success rate. A 25 per cent pregnancy rate will not be enough to attract most couples, although on a total of just 20 cycles it is a near-meaningless figure. Compared with IVF success rates of 45 per cent and more, it is a powerful disincentive, even if the risks are lower. But these are early days. When IVF first became widely available in the 1980s, live birth rates were around 14 per cent. They have grown from there and the expectation is that IVM success rates will grow similarly.

Specialists were cautious yesterday about IVM's prospects, saying much more evidence of its safety was needed. As part of its horizon-scanning work, the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority has been scrutinising the research in Montreal and Seoul, the two centres that have pioneered the technique, since early 2006.

Its advisory group concluded there was no evidence to suggest it was dangerous and no evidence that it increased the risk of birth abnormalities – a concern because of the use of immature eggs. But it warned that the oldest children conceived by the technique were little more than toddlers and long-term experience was lacking.

The HFEA granted a licence to perform IVM to the Oxford Fertility Clinic in January this year, the first and only licence it has so far issued, on the grounds that Tim Child, the consultant, had spent two years researching the technique in Montreal. He had demonstrated he was skilled in maturing the eggs in the laboratory.

The test now is whether he can refine the technique to improve the success rate – and whether other clinics can follow his lead. Researchers in Leeds are understood to be interested in the method. If he and they succeed, they could usher in a revolution in fertility treatment.

~The Independent, 25 October 2007 17:12~

frustration

i wanna yank out all my hair.

tell me HOW am i supposed to get my work out to the field by sunday when it's already thursday and no feedback from the top has been given?

now lookie here. it's not that i don't put my job first. i will put in the hours, if i see the need for it. but NOT at the expense of my life. i got a bloody life outside of work.

things to do, people to kill, they say.

fine. maybe my life isn't as exciting.

things to play with, people to fuck, can?

what the hell la.

they can't just EXPECT me to come in to work on Saturdays at the last minute. that's not fair.

Oh, **** this mean's u'll have to come in work tomorrow. Be prepared for the whole day.

yes, happened before. i was so tempted to kick his snotty ass. say nicer a bit, can or not? pukimak. (nope, no censoring this time)

:(

grrrrrr....... sometimes i really hate waiting.

update

SLP finally came in to work.

So yeah, went to ask about leave.

Answer was still unconfirmed.... can you see the blood coming to boil? Lucky I had a good night's sleep, thanks to exhaustion, not sleeping well the night before, and then thanks to, to somebody :)

Anyway, I digress. Lucky I had a good night's sleep, else I'd have found it difficult to keep my well-known temper in check. Sighs. They don't call me stark raving madwoman for nothing.

I decided to do something different today:

Me: Well, I guess it's a No, then, but it's ok. My friend forfeited anyway.
Him: *sits up and stares* Forfeit? What you mean, forfeit?
Me: Plane ticket. I told you, she's flying over.
Him: Why forfeit? So you mean, you were supposed to fly there, then up to Penang?
Me: ...... {Some people's stupidity stuns me sometimes... I mean, SERIOUSLY? Stupid no?} No... I just go to Penang lah! Meet her there lah! What for make {stupid} roundabout trip? {I swear to God, I ain't a genius... but....}
Him: Ohh... well, you see, we need to get it out by this Friday, and he's supposed to come in yesterday, but he didn't, and today he's coming in too...
Me: Yes, I know. No, he isn't coming in today, I called him yesterday...
Him: Yes, that's right, so anyway... Well... we'll reimburse her lah...
Me: That isn't necessary... see, I asked you for an early answer so this wouldn't happen. You could've you know, just let me know.
Him: Yes, see...
Me: It's fine... I'll deal with it myself.
Him: We could reimburse her.. if it's Airasia.. so you know...
Me: No, I'd like leave in November, though.
Him: Sure... When? We could reimburse her...
Me: It's fine.

Is it just me... or does he NOT get the point? It's not a matter of money. Each time I hear him say: We could reimburse, I feel like swinging one of those spiked clubs to his flat head. Seriously!!! NOT EVERYTHING is about MONEY. Sheeeessssshhhh..... I WAS SO BLOODY ANNOYED.

It's the hanging in LIMBO that is abominable. How'd he like a chick to string him along...
Him: Marry me...
Chick: Well.... I'll think about it....
Him: When can you let me know?
Chick: I don't know.
Him: I need an answer...
Chick: Why?
Him: To let my parents know.
Chick: Well... Friday...

Him: Well? It's Friday...
Chick: I still don't know..... Let you know tomorrow...
etc. and so it goes...

And that doesn't even require a deadline....

Like wtf....

Then again, I got leave in November. Yeah, I preyed on his guilty conscience and got an immediate answer... then again, I've not taken paid leave since I started work. And I bloody need a fucking holiday.

So: YAY!! :D:D:D:D:D

Screw the guilty conscience anyway. He'd get over it soon enough. Like someone said when I told him about this: He sucks dick cheese..... >:(

Anyway, I'm quite stunned by a confession someone told me over text last night. Seriously, I didn't really need to know. Then again, I think the only reason he said it is coz he likes what he can't have. And it's probably safe to. Well, whatever. :) The lines are drawn. The boundaries clear. And I'm not utterly without morals....

Though like Ric says, Satan is digging the 21st level specifically for me...
It's all good... I'd be partying with popes, emperors, Michael Hutchence, Kurt Cobain, etc. in there. Gonna be one swingin' party..... :P Feel free to come join us...

The reason for this dubious honour? Cos he was arguing the politics and finer technicalities of suicide with me, me being a Catholic and all. *rolls eyes.... lawyers...*

So I completely floored him for 2 whole minutes when I said: Yeah, ok... that's suicide. That's suicide too. Technically, they're all suicide, to be fair. So technically speakind, Jesus committed suicide too, you know.

It's rare to see the dude speechless :D

Then he says: You're a practising Catholic. You believe in God and Salvation and all that.
Me: YEP!!
Him: Did you just SAY that?
Me: YEPPP!!!!
Him: :O
Me: :D

Hence the 21st level of Hell remark...

Oh well... he just called that someone 'soyabean cincau'..... Hmm...

I'm having a mental block... This is BAD...

Work Again....

Trying to form some Questions to ask on Party vs. Governance....

and I'm coming up blank.

Stuffy nose, and itching throat. Having difficulty swallowing... and swollen lymph nodes.

Never a good sign for me. I know my body well. That means a fever is coming on.

So I went to the doc's this morning. Maybe I SHOULD take MC. Am shivering at work. Dammit.... I haven't got much time either.

One project after another.

I'm afraid I haven't time to pack my stuff. Moving out end of this month to a house-ful of cats :P How does 11 sound to you?

J's already booked me for mid-Nov to look after his cats while he's away for cat competition *rolls eyes* :P and I haven't moved in yet!!! Apa-ler bebudak zaman sekarang :D

Looking forward to Chicago and hitting the town in November.
Wonder if Nurse is coming this weekend, though. She don't sound too keen anymore. Sighs... I couldn't take leave. What to do? She ain't the only one disappointed :(
Girl's back for good :) But she'd be based in Ipoh :( Not so good.
Psycho's birthday coming up too... and the lil turban boy is due. HEHEHE.... Can't believe one of the clown's is gonna be a Dad O.O

on a cold rainy morning

i'm thinking:

wet hummus on a cold heavily-raining morning smells delightful.

sometimes familiarity breeds contempt, as much as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

sometimes i just wanna be alone. just for awhile. just to discover who i am.

sometimes i hate being a woman. sometimes i wish i were a man.

sometimes i whine so much, i'm disgusted with me.

i need a holiday. badly.

soft light cotton against the skin feels so darn comfy.

i wanna stay in bed. and do things on 400-threadcount sheets. because it's cold. and it's so wet outside. and i'd rather, much rather stay home in bed where it's warm, and where dreams are made.

i think i need to get back to a place where i can see trees that grow naturally, not get planted to give the place an ornamental look. what's happened to a beauty that's wild and wildly natural? i crave for that.

i'm tired. of many many things. of this fragile glittery superficial place most of all. it makes me shallow. it changes me. what if i don't recognise myself anymore if i stay here too long?

i think too goddamn much. and i speak my mind too goddamn much. i should just shut the fuck up sometimes.

i think i'm pms-ing. :(

LoL. Things I miss :P

{"I will tolerate no phones ringing. If you have your cell phone, please, give yourselves a cheap thrill and set it to vibrate."
-- beginning her first lecture.

"Some of you may have heard from less-than-pleased ex-students of mine that Professor Stanley is obsessed with sex. *pause for effect* This is true."
-- introduction to her first lecture (Tumour Biology of all things. But she did describe the reproduction of her lab mice in excruciating projectile-vomit-causing detail.)

"Hypertrophy is a response to excessive or prolonged demand, such as in the pregnant uterus - they don't call it labour for nothing."

"Semen is a most dangerous substance. Always avoid it at all costs. Research has shown that it gives you the biggest tumour of all - pregnancy."
-- explaining how squamous metaplasia is caused in the uterus.

"Some of these names are very old - we've used them since pussy was a cat."
-- introducing the terms 'melanoma' and 'seminoma'."

"Normal tissue is ordered and structured, like the dancers in Strictly Come Dancing. Cancerous tissue, then, is like the Strictly Come Dancing afterparty."
-- quite self-explanatory really.

"Bitter experience has taught me that 80% of this lecture theatre will not know what 'faecal' means, and that I must use language appropriate to your generation - this, ladies and gentlemen, is shit."

And they say med school lecturers are boring.}

-excerpt from Angry Medic. :P HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! that's from Cambridge, btw.

sometimes i miss what i studied. O&G docs are chockful of dirty jokes, especially.

i said this once, i shall say it again: Nothing is sacred in the medical profession!

“I’M TAGGED, THEREFORE…” the colourblind one tagged me :(

Damn, Frostie! I buy fuchsia t-shirt n tell u it's aquamarine, then u know! :P:P:P

Rules:
Repeat subject header “I’M TAGGED, THEREFORE…”
Copy + paste these rules in your entry
Complete these 15 totally useless statements & questions
Mention who you were tagged by, followed by 8 people who you’ll be tagging

WARNING!
Failing to do so and you’ll be cursed eternally with a 3-holed nose and a low-cost flat

I kena tagged by the colourblind one~Frostie

1. If I was an opposite gender, what would my party clothes be like? birthday suit. men don't like wearing clothes, rite? :P
2. At 10am this morning, I was… … :D rushing for work after doing a cowgirl.
3. At 10pm tonight, I will be… … probably be hanging out with the psycho getting grilled, receiving lewd comments/remarks. and hearing her bitch. and whine. abt the clown she wants to shoot. either at brickfields, bangsar, or section 17. maybe the curve. who knows?
4. Who should be the next Malaysian Prime Minister? Me :P
5. If my spouse told me to do without sex for a year, I would… … hmm... i shall take a leaf out of Clinton's book and ask: Define sex?
6. If I was a piece of a car, I would be the… …the steering wheel. i like being caressed.
7. If I was told one day that I would have to give up either 1) anything chocolate OR 2) ever seeing the beach again, for the rest of my life, which one will I give up? chocs, i guess. don't eat much of it anyway. unless i'm craving. which is occasionally when i'm ovulating :P ovaries screaming for something, obviously.
8. Singapore is good for… ... Cabinet Sauvignon. aka NEWater. :P ask bren. hahaha!
9. If I could only say 3 words before I die, what would those last words be? now than later.
10. Who would I like to be left on a deserted island with? Jamie Oliver. he's entertaining n he can cook up a storm :P
11. Die by drowning or by fire? fire. :P i go out in a 'blaze of glory'. literally! always wondered what it'd feel like to combust.
12. What one single thing would you buy with your last RM9.95? however much i can get to eat with that amount. yep. food tops my list. i need sustenance every 4 hours :P FEED ME!!!
13. If I opened a night club, what would I call it? Ass-Ump-Tion.
14. Don’t cheat: what’s “bulbous”? my ass
15. I think my ass is… …Great, thanx :P custom-made for child-bearing. all that selective process from ancient China, y'know ;)

I’m tagging:

Psychosis Personified. Cos it's high time u started blogging after all that olfactosynthesis crap, bitch. :P
Yerdeh. Take ur mind off chronic kidney diseases :P
Sarah. aka. Chick.: oh u wanna.... :D med school or no.
Bernard. :P where's that story? this is writing too!!! :)
PinkRiverDolphin: Chocolatecupcake! when u gonna come visit me with Rusty? Blog, dammit!
Aichiban: :P coz now u no more in india, u very free... kekeke...
Manda: :P do something other than walk around in Times Square. or wherever u go now.
Angry Medic: HAHAHA! :) How's things over there?

1754 hours on a Saturday Evening

Gah..... Here are a few things.... Don't blame me if this shocks you. I'm currently very pissy. Due to hunger. And stress.....

1) I'm stuck at work at 1754 hours on a Saturday evening. Say it with me now: Hurrah! Hurrah!

2) Frozen Kinder Bueno is good for the soul. Very good. I'm souled out.

3) I need a wank when I am stressed out. Yes, fuckers, women wank, too. And since I'm not getting laid, I bloody wank. Ok? And don't give me that look already... What's with the gasping? Check out the banner at the top. I DID WARN YOU by saying: "Sexually explicit. Seriously violent. Liberal use of expletives, so be warned. Definitely not for children." Right? There you go. Here's a confession: I DID stop wanking for several LLLOOOONNNNGGGG months due to depression. It didn't help. Brought me lower down. So damn you all, I shall wank as often as I like. All engines need lubrication. I have absolutely no intention to let my va-jay-jay dry up like a wrinkled, sad, old, prune. And NO. Random sex with random strangers might lead to very scary random diseases. I was trained as a Microbiologist. I should know. That's not an option.

4) Random strangers talk to me. Don't ask me why. I don't know. For everyday of this week, some random stranger/strangers have stopped me at least once to ask for something. And to have the same weirdo ask you for money on two separate days and occasions in the same week borders on frightening. EEEEKKKKKKKSSSSSS!!!!!!

5) I AM HUNGRY!!! FEED MEEEE!!!! :( Sugar level dipping. Migraine setting on. NO GOOD. NO GOOD AT ALL. Getting very cranky. Snapped at annoying SLP. Uh-oh!

UGHHHH.....

This is posted on Multiply under something else for obvious reasons :P

**

SLP can be SUCH an ASS at times, it's fucking annoying.

OK, maybe I'm cute when I'm annoyed. But there's a time and place for everything. I'm not sitting on my daddy's nest egg. So stop being an asshole already. It's not that I'm a mercenary bitch. It's just that some people are born more privileged than others. The others have to work to get there.

When asked at 21 if I'd go out with a rich man's son, I replied that I definitely would NOT. And he was surprised. Why not? he says. Because they have an attitude problem that makes me want to:

a) Vomit Blood. b) Kick Their Ass. Hard. And if possibly, leave an imprint they won't forget. c) Rip Their Nads Out, cos it doesn't deserve to be hanging there.

In that order.

:D Yeah. I know. He wore that expression too. :P I know la. Not all. But most, unfortunately. To those that do, I only have one thing to say: I think it's from Plutarch: It is certainly desirable to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors, and not to us. So fuck off unless u can match the glories of ur father, or fore-fathers. Just cos ur daddy's bright, doesn't mean lil spoilt brat is bright, too. Accidents happen. Often. Murphy's Law happens too. :P

U embody the very reason why I'd rather go for personality than good-looks or sleeping in/on/with money. Precisely that.

And when I ignore u because u're being a macho asshole, don't start throwing tantrums like a 5 year old. Like WTF? Watch me zone out.

I grew up with boys. Take that macho shit n stuff it where the sun doesnt shine, cos it impresses me not. And I can take u on. Outside the workplace, that is.

So u've got me by my proverbial balls just cos u pay my wages. Well, I'm young. And life is a cycle. But there's a friggin reason why u're sad and lonely. Maybe if u got off ur high horse, women might like u more.

Men can be so dense sometimes. No offense to nice guys out there, but seriously. Most men are like government bonds, they take forever to mature. And when they finally do, sometimes it's just too bloody late.

The Learning

Wednesday, 03.10.2007. 0931 hours.

So here I am. This is where I stand. This is who I am. I've been stripped bare to the bones, and built back up again. I reckon I can safely say I've come a long way.

I've just accidentally realised it's been exactly 2 months since he's left, and many months since I've struggled to reach a conclusion.

There was the precipice, the plunge, the gorge, the walk among the dead and undead, the freeing of shackles, the climb back up to the living.

Now it's learning to live with the living once again.

I've come a long way. I'm learning still.

Klutz

Today I fell outside DW Station a second time. Seriously.... wtf's wrong with me?

This reminds me of something Brandon said once: She runs in heels, but trips in flats.

Yes, I was wearing flats.

And Tracy's reaction while watching Miss Congeniality (Sandra Bullock tripping): OMG!! That's YOU!!! *bursts out laughing...*

Sighs....

Yeah, also fell outside UPM Library once each year I was there. (i.e.: 3 times) :(

I IS KLUTZ... :(

Nurse is coming! :D:D:D:D

Hey!

Nurse came online and told me she's coming end of the month! YAY!! :)

That's one of my besties there :) Boy, have I missed her :P

Whoopdeedoo :D:D:D

Nights of gossipping, lots of drinking, and crazy laughter coming up :)

Psycho better get ready :P

Trouble

i've been a good girl. almost.

i stay in my corner of the world.

i lick my wounds alone. mostly.

i do all that i had to do.

i know i'll heal. but i won't forget.

i didn't expect to.

i don't go looking for trouble.

i don't search for cheap thrills.

i stay away from addictions.

i wish i could be safe.

but Trouble seems to like me.

do i have it stamped on my forehead?
COME GET ME, BABY. I LOVE GETTING FUCKED?

fuck this shit. fuck all of it.

i don't go looking for Trouble, all u bitches.
get it in your heads. stop making me sound like a bitch in heat.

Trouble comes looking for me. Always.

Maybe he's my ultimate groom after all.

Aptness.

There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday

Preachers on the podium speaking of saints
Prophets on the sidewalk begging for change
Old ladies laughing from the fire escape cursing my name

I got a basket full of lemons and they all taste the same
A window and a pigeon with a broken wing
You can spend you whole life working for something
Just to have it taken away

People walk around pushing back their debts
Wearing pay checks like necklaces and bracelets
Talking 'bout nothing, not thinking 'bout death
Every little heartbeat, every little breath

People walk a tight rope on a razors edge
Carrying their hurt and hatred and weapons
It could be a bomb or a bullet or a pen
Or a thought or a word or a sentence

There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I don't know why I say the things I say, but I say them anyway

But love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes

Prison walls still standing tall
Some things never change at all
Keep on buildin' prisons, gonna fill them all
Keep on buildin' bombs, gonna drop them all

Working your fingers bear to the bone
Breaking your back, make you sell your soul
Like a lung that's filled with coal, suffocatin' slow

The wind blows wild and I may move
The politicians lie and I am not fooled
You don't need no reason or a three piece suit to argue the truth

The air on my skin and the world under my toes
Slavery stitched into the fabric of my clothes
Chaos and commotion wherever I go
Love I try to follow

Love will come set me free
Love will come set me free, I do believe
Love will come set me free, I know it will
Love will come set me free, yes

There ain't no reason things are this way
It's how they always been and they intend to stay
I can't explain why we live this way, we do it everyday

Brett Dennen-Ain't No Reason

Sighs... Apt.

H2G2G

So long, and thanks for the fish. Thank you, especially, for leaving.

Bye, doll... it's been bittersweet.

hey you...

i'm sorry i couldn't meet you one last time before you go. and to have planned it so carefully so many times, only to have it busted.

there were so many things i wanted to say. so many things i wanted to ask you about, too. how you are, for one. what your plans are, for another.

guess we've both been so busy with life we didn't have time to meet up and catch up before you leave.

we've only known each other for awhile, but already it's been bittersweet. too many stories, things, secrets, shadows shared. and your leaving now, makes it even more so.

but the chance... it's once in a lifetime. it's everything you dreamed of. it could take you to places lemmings only see in postcards :) i suppose i'll live vicariously through you then. *hugs*

sighs. guess this is it, then. just want you to know i miss you already. and i'm gonna miss you a lot more. at the very least, you called :)

well, you know where to find me. i've always been here. always will be.

you got my addie now, too. let me know yours when you get there, and i'll send it to you.

you take care now. greatness becomes you yet :) yeah, i love you, too. i know i've never really said it in person, but i do. remember to write :) at least we have technology now.

hugs and kisses,
just me.